We all screw up sometimes, you held your hands up, said sorry and I think you should be given the benefit of the doubt. I hope you take the advice about fading and taking time to build a new life, find a new job, new home, new friends and support network. Don't throw away your old shoes before you get a new pair. But dont linger too long either because it's not easy being in limbo and your aim is to leave and live a happy and successful life. Good luck!
Tornintwo
JoinedPosts by Tornintwo
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56
A fresh start
by FormerlySandL inafter the worst introduction i could ever make on the forum i would like to reintroduce myself and make a fresh start on the forum and hopefully over time i will be able to redeem myself.
i have changed my user name which was over dramatic and ridiculous in the cold light of day but for transparency and to show i am not trying to hide anything i have adapted the original name and it now has a more positive feel.
after reading a lot of posts on this forum i am feeling more optimistic about my future.
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161
I am leaving the JW's . I am alone and scared. Advice and help needed please
by scared and lonely ini am sorry that on my first post i am asking for help and advice but i am at my wits end.
i have been brought up a witness all my life and it is all i know.
i am an ex-elder and pioneer and i don't know anybody outside of the congregation.. i have been unhappy for so long and wanted to leave.
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Tornintwo
S&L most people here are very supportive. That poster was very harsh.
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I was critically ill for a long time...
by The Rebel inbut thanks to the excellent health care on this site iam on the road to recovery, and can now fully appreciate what a gloriouse thing it is to be free from the w.t and savor approaching spring in all its beauty, ....however i am not sure i am ready for debating on all the boards many heavy threads about gods existence and evolution .. anybody else feal the same?
" tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free, tis a gift to wake up and breath the morning air, and tis a gift to each day walk on the path we want to be....." .
the rebel.
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Tornintwo
Respect for differing beliefs I have the utmost, and debate I embrace after years of only sanitized discussion. I only object to people being attacked for their beliefs, or non beliefs. I'm just encouraging care and support especially for newer members.
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161
I am leaving the JW's . I am alone and scared. Advice and help needed please
by scared and lonely ini am sorry that on my first post i am asking for help and advice but i am at my wits end.
i have been brought up a witness all my life and it is all i know.
i am an ex-elder and pioneer and i don't know anybody outside of the congregation.. i have been unhappy for so long and wanted to leave.
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Tornintwo
Just remember, you don't have to tell the elders what you really think! Whilst it might feel momentarily good to do so, if it's going to put you in a real mess then don't. It's actually a very very powerful feeling to nod and smile and agree and thank them for their encouragement (whilst secretly thinking 'what a load of b.s.' ) it means they have no control over you and you take power back and buy yourself the time to get your life in order. -
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I was critically ill for a long time...
by The Rebel inbut thanks to the excellent health care on this site iam on the road to recovery, and can now fully appreciate what a gloriouse thing it is to be free from the w.t and savor approaching spring in all its beauty, ....however i am not sure i am ready for debating on all the boards many heavy threads about gods existence and evolution .. anybody else feal the same?
" tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free, tis a gift to wake up and breath the morning air, and tis a gift to each day walk on the path we want to be....." .
the rebel.
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Tornintwo
Good for you!!! I too feel the fog is lifting now and I'm at peace, ready to just move on with living a normal life and to appreciate the joy of humanity!
Re the God and evolution debates, I think some posters need to keep in mind that some leaving the jws are in a very fragile state, some are very young too, and their faith might be very important to them, even in its changing state, so not to push too hard. I'm all for being open minded, isn't it why we're all here? But we should respect the stages of waking up that some might not be ready, or ever be ready, to dissect all faith in God Richard Dawkins s style.
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Fading tactic that worked well for me
by traveb inif you read some of my past posts you’ll know that i’ve successfully faded while being able to keep contact with my immediate family, who are still very devout jws.
when i did finally completely stop attending meetings, my family, and especially my parents (elder father and pioneer mom), were of course very interested to know the reasons why.
at first i deflected their questions, stating that i had personal reasons and did not want to explain myself.
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Tornintwo
Traveb, great advice and great news it's worked out so well for you. I am currently watching a young man leave the hard way, apostasy and all, and I am convinced he is causing himself and his family much more pain than necessary.
scared and lonely, take the advice and back track, it's not too late, you can blame depression or stress, say you are confused, but doing things travebs way gives you more chance of keeping your family and of long term success. As one of our regular posters says here ...."the best revenge is living a happy and successful life" (not ending up penniless and friendless in the gutter!)
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I am leaving the JW's . I am alone and scared. Advice and help needed please
by scared and lonely ini am sorry that on my first post i am asking for help and advice but i am at my wits end.
i have been brought up a witness all my life and it is all i know.
i am an ex-elder and pioneer and i don't know anybody outside of the congregation.. i have been unhappy for so long and wanted to leave.
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Tornintwo
Scared and lonely...
the best advice I received on here when first doubting was to SLOW DOWN!! Take things slow and think things through for the best outcome for you and your family. You are going through a big change and if you do it too fast you WILL end up scared, lonely, depressed. It's not too late to put the breaks on, fade gradually, miss meetings because of depression, be 'confused and doubting' not rebellious or apostate. It will be easier on you and your family. Whilst you take things slow you give your self the headspace to sort your feelings out, time to build new friendships and connections outside of the org, maybe find a different way of supporting yourself, go to college maybe or get a new job where you can better yourself and make new friends too. You can do all this whilst still being in the family home if you tread carefully, there are good guides to fading on here. But for your own sake, don't jump too soon.
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Need to vent: My loathing for the JW cult increases more and more, while my wife clings more and more to it
by goingthruthemotions injust as i think my loathing for the jw cult has peaked, it goes higher and higher.
i wish this cult would just go away.
i wish my wife would just wake up.
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Tornintwo
I sympathise.....I'm always finding my husband watching jwtv, reading the bible, reading my little one bible stories. He's more obsessed than ever. They're trying to counteract our negative influence and probably ease their c.d. My tactic is to ignore it and get on with something I like doing. Ocasionally I rant at him about the ARC etc. but it never has a positive effect, quite the opposite. We're growing apart, inevitably, but what can I do about that? I just try to enjoy my kids and my life, times with him I keep it on light and neutral ground, the news, work, kids, tv, the ironic thing is we used to talk a lot about the brothers, problems in the cong, injustices, bad elders, now of course he won't breathe a word of negativity to me, hopefully it will store up inside him and wake him up, unlikely though.
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I heard a knock on the door, and...
by rebel8 in..."we are"--at this point i began shaking my head no--"stopping by to share a scripture.".
she had the wt and bible in her hand.. "please do not come to this house ever again.".
"ok we will put you on the do not call list.
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Tornintwo
i'd love the opportunity to say this, somewhere where people don't know me, I 'imagine' it would go like this...
JWs - standard crappy halfhearted presentation
Me - oh you believe Armageddons coming don't you, and that god will sort things out on earth?
Jw- yes thats right!
Me - its a lovely hope. who do you believe will survive?
Jw - oh well, we hope as many as possible, it's not us who judge, jehovah is the judge....
Me - oh that's funny, I've definitely read in your watchtower magazine that you believe your's is the only true religion.
Jw - well yes...
Me - and that you have to be in that true religion to survive the end...
Jw - well, like i say, jehovah is the judge...
Me - no it definitely says, the JW organisation is the only safe haven, that it's like the ark in Noahs day and we have to be in it to be safe...so for example if armageddon came tomorrow then on this street for example, you would survive, but no-one else would. thats what your publications say...
Jw - well, ummm. of course, Jehovah wants as many people as possible to survive, that's why we are preaching.
Me - Oh, ok, he is giving everyone a chance, is that right? Thats nice
Jw - yes, theres a scripture that says, 'he is patient because he doesn't want anyone to be destroyed but wants all to attain to repentance'
Me - oh okay, yes thats nice, patience....hmmm, last I heard there are about 700 people baptised as witnesses every day, thats very impressive.
Jw - yes isn't it!
Me - hmmm, but do you know that the world population grows by over 220,000 every day, thats even after deaths have been taken into account...
Jw - wow really! I didn't know that
Me - yes so what you are saying, that for every day that Jehovah delays because of his loving patience, he will then have to kill another 220,000 babies at Armageddon. That's right isn't it. What a loving God, and I bet you are just hoping for Armageddon to come very soon.
Jw - errr, anyway , we better be going......
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How JW ignore the help Felicity Sneesby got from the "World"
by StephaneLaliberte inlately, in the february broadcast program, at the 46 minutes mark, the watchtower provides the story of felicity sneesby.
this report focuses on how, despite her serious illness, she, along with her family, has always placed her faith in jehovah and how happy she is for being part of jehovah’s family.. i am shocked by how this jw’s report completely ignores the help that this family has received from this system of things through the years.
for instance, they slept at the ronald mcdonald house on at least 6 separate occasions and for long periods of time.
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Tornintwo
It's like how after a natural disaster they produce these videos showing them rebuilding homes, helping fellow believers (almost exclusively) but they never acknowledge the efforts of organizations like the Red Cross, Medecins Sans Frontiers, Oxfam, Save the Children, who have done a great deal more without showing any religious prejudice.