it's sad to me that while people who are still inside the org. realize there are problems, have chosen to deny and/or ignore the plainly seen holes in JW theology, still remain and state they do so because they want to be loyal, that Jehovah deserves their loyalty, and that they want their life to stand for something, for opposition against dark forces that seem to rule our world.
This saddens me on a very deep level. I can honestly and truly say that after I came out, and after I cleaned all the rubble off myself from that decision, that I truly see the world (and please don't see that word the "world" in a JW sense) in a completely new way. Life, and this planet, the universe, possibilties, my existence here is ALL so new and exciting, refreshing and encouraging. It feels much more refreshing than the dark and dirty connotation brought by the organization's perspective. Don't get me wrong, the world in general is still a crazy and effed up place, but it's also a beautiful and growing place. I truly feel that as humans we are growing, and that's a positive thing, not a negative.
I do honestly respect the sentiment of loyalty, but I feel this view of loyalty is skewed. And since coming out some of the things I have read really hit home the emotions I remember having while still inside the organization. Perhaps some of you felt the same, but I certainly struggled with issues of feeling like a slave to a "god", bitterness, fear, resentment, confusion, etc. towards the concept of Jehovah as presented by the organization.
I had also noticed that many people, even after their exodus from the WTBS, still held a reverence and almost continual guilt towards Jehovah, almost as if they'd betrayed him. Now, I will be the first to admit that I have my moments where my childhood and 21 years of being raised inside the organization rears it's ugly little head, and I have to consciously correct myself. However, never in those moments do I feel a sense of betrayal or lack of loyalty to Jehovah.
And in my own reading when I come across things that mirror my sentiments, it is quite comforting to know that I was not the only one who felt this way. E.g. in The Gospel of Adam, which was found near the dead sea scrolls and is now part of what is referred to as the Nag Hammadi Library, and it said that they served him because they feared him. It had a COMPLETELY different take on this entity (Jehovah) and how they felt about everything. Reading that really made me sad, but also relieved, to know that I was not the only one with similar feelings. It was like alllllllllllllllllll those times growing up when you'd be in distress about something, and the answer was inevitably always to read the bible because people in the bible felt the same way as you, blah blah blah. Well I personally never got any relief from anything in the bible. I have had far much more respect for old texts I've read that are not included in the NWT canon.
I realize I am rambling a bit, and I apologize.
All I meant to say is that while I respect and understand people's standpoint of loyalty, and even though things within the organization are messed up, they choose to stay because they feel it is a sense of remaining loyal to Jehovah and that's simply the one and only way to do this, I am deeply saddened for this shut down state of thought and emotion, in a sense, hopelessness, that despite any situations they will stay until the bitter end. To me, regardless of what one thinks happens or does not after this life right now, it sure is a sad, lonely and loss of the happiness and joys in THIS life, right NOW.
So while I respect it and understand we all make our own decisions, I feel a sense of loss for those who make that decision, simply based on the truly happy emotions and discoveries of life I have made, since I stopped letting myself think like this group of people told me I "should."
NO ONE has the right to tell another human being how they should THINK.
Posts by feenx
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6A non confrontational saddness
by feenx init's sad to me that while people who are still inside the org.
realize there are problems, have chosen to deny and/or ignore the plainly seen holes in jw theology, still remain and state they do so because they want to be loyal, that jehovah deserves their loyalty, and that they want their life to stand for something, for opposition against dark forces that seem to rule our world.
this saddens me on a very deep level.
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feenx
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33
Should Elderly People Be Forced To Show ID If They Want To Buy Alcohol?
by minimus inin a local convenience store, the owners have installed an id checker for anyone purchasing alcohol.
they require you to put your id in this machine to determine whether or not you are of legal age.
even if you are 85 years of age, you have to comply or you can't buy a beer!.
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feenx
F*CK THAT! The only thing they need to do with elderly people is have them take an annual driving test, but please, let them buy their booze in peace. SHEEEEEESH. I wonder how long it will last before the owner realizes he's a tard for putting it in at all.
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22
JW wedding reception - Should I go? Would you?
by Girlie ini've been invited to attend a wedding reception of a "sister" that i was formerly close with.
there was no major breaking up of the friendship or anything, other than her not liking a statement i made.
just a distancing apart.
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feenx
Well hell in that sense maybe it would be quite entertaining to see this craziness occur. BUT I agree with Finally-Free. Weddings are boring enough (sorry, but it's true) as it is. Yes it's lovely to see people declare their love and have a big party. But lets be honest, unless you're really close with the people it's a loss of a day/evening. Add the history on top of that AND that there hasn't been any contact, and I'd say no. If either of you really felt the need to correspond and/or see each other, than it would've happened. But it didn't and I just don't see any sense in wrapping yourself up in an event filled with people you specifically sought to get away from. Just my opinion :)
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23
Ex JW boy meets ex JW girl....good thing or bad thing?
by digderidoo inex jw boy meets ex jw girl....good thing or bad thing?.
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feenx
I agree with Finally-Free. It really does depend on the people. I had another ex JW as a roommate for a bit, and that was cool. We'd known each other from a very young age. Though the few times something JW related did come up, I could totally feel the overall mood change. So if you guys are both in a good space with it, mentally and emotionally, than I think it shouldn't be a question of a good thing or a bad thing, because there's A LOT more that goes into connecting with someone in a romantic sense than poopy 'ol JW silliness. The better question is, how do you really feel about her? Keep straight on that and I'm sure the rest will work itself out.
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51
Any JW's here?
by stillin inthis site is called "a discussion forum for jehovahs witnesses.
" maybe "for jehovah's witnesses entertainment" would fit better..
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feenx
totally with you Undercover! I actually haven't been here in a while for that very reason. Some times all the bitching gets too negative for me. But I do love the helping aspect, because I got a lot of comfort through hard times from the posters here.
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38
Dealing with a 'molested child' in a Judicial matter.
by dissed ini'm trying to respect the privacy of this individual, so forgive me if i'm a little too vague in my descriptions.. this for me, was the most emotional and difficult judicial matter that i have ever experienced.
its been many years since this happened and i'm still troubled, and troubled for this individual.. a young sister had committed fornication and i was chosen to sit on the judicial committee.. the case didn't make sense at first.
she was a faithful example in the congregation and was very much liked by all.
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feenx
I can see both sides. I agree that it is certainly the safer route to take in not contacting her. Everyone deals with their trauma differently. My cousins completely deny and deflect. As we all know this only works to a certain degree, and after a while hardly at all. I on the other hand was forced to face my sh*t, and in adult life have continued to do so, and in that vein had I gotten, or even now, some type of apology from my JC elders, even just an admittance of mis-handling, let alone an apology, it would certainly brighten my day and make me feel just that much better about the world and this life.
But I am also a firm believer in the power of the universe, and if some kind of contact and/or opportunity for an apology needs to happen, than I have no doubt it will.
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2010 Special Assemby Day program: "The Time Left Is Reduced"
by truthseeker inthe time left always seems to be reduced but it never runs out.. here is the program for the 2010 special assembly day.
the time left is reduced.
(1 corinthians 7:29).
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feenx
Looks like the same B.S. program as when I was a kid. You'd think they'd atleast come up with some new propaganda.
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Recent Daily Text & Service Meeting discussion
by feenx inhappy hump day everyone!
i was wondering if anyone had a humorous or out there daily text and discussion they could share from a relatively recent morning service meeting?
i am writing a short screenplay and would love to include a good story in this scene, where a young boy, 11ish, is sitting with his parents listening to everyone get prepared for field service..
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feenx
Happy Hump Day Everyone!
I was wondering if anyone had a humorous or out there daily text and discussion they could share from a relatively recent morning service meeting? I am writing a short screenplay and would love to include a good story in this scene, where a young boy, 11ish, is sitting with his parents listening to everyone get prepared for field service.
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21
What do non witnesses actually think about the evil practice of disfellowshipping?
by jambon1 inwhenever i have mentioned this practise to people who don't know much about the witnesses (although they should know about them due to the worldwide preaching activity .
to most right thinking people it is absolutely just not an option to have no contact with your immediate family.. one lady said to me "i'd rather rip my heart out".. what has been your experience when people find out that jw's carry out this evil practise?.
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feenx
I have found the same. Most people don't believe me at first, and they don't quite understand it. And whenever they find out it's possible to go back, after all the red tape one must go through, it seems to make their opinion of it even worse. Then they usually say to eff it all and now I have chosen my family and they'll never turn their back on me. Which is nice to hear
They also laugh when I describe how my parents must view me, based on how they react to my "lifestyle." I think in their minds I'm some kind of drug addict sex addict who is a walking STD reviling in his new found relationship with Satan or something...lol
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JW Opinions on Obama
by feenx ini haven't been on here much, including during the recent election.
i am curious if anyone knows what the opinions, official as well as non-official or "gossip" *gasp*, on the election and obama.
i remember as a kid my mother would always complain so much around election time, just like xmas, because she hated it so much.
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feenx
you know really, JW's would make the best politicians. They can be just as seedy and two faced, there are many that are good public speakers and above all they are very, VERY talented at rationalizing anything they need to suit their wants while maintaining followers. What political party wouldn't want such blatant talent at BS-ing?