southern belle

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Hello Everyone, I was raised in the (truth). My two older sisters started studing first when they were teenagers, then my mother, she was babtised a week before she died in our bathtub she was so weak. Then my dad studied and came in after mom died. All of this happened when I was 3yrs. old. Dad remarried about a year and half later to an extremely over zealous self-righteous sister. He soon became an elder and has been one every since. He has been the P.O. for probably 25 yrs. Step mom has pioneered for almost as long. Needless to say everyone in my family has been very spiritual the whole time. I on the other hand was the black sheep. I tried to keep my nose clean but wasn't very successful. I got dfd twice and reproved once. The first time I was dfd was when I started having serious doubts about the org. They say one thing but do something totally different. I was stuck in a horrible marriage to a man that when he felt like punishing me would rape me from time to time. I had 2 small children only a part time job and no support from anyone to leave him because in a matter of days I was going to be dfd and you know then they have to have their hands clean so god forbid they help their daughter or sister, and they knew everything that this so called brother was doing and had done to me. After that time period I tried to be a good witness for the sake of my family, but I couldn't handle being in that horrible marriage any longer so I got out, the best thing I have ever done, just hate that it took me 15yrs. But its done. It was when I was dfd during this period that I really began to have serious doubts that I couldn't ignore any longer. With help from Bill Bowen and his site, freeminds and I also read both of Steven Hassen's books and both of Ray Franzs books and the book Out of the Coccoon, after about 2.5 yrs. I was able to get myself out. When I knew that I had my kids backing (they are 15 and 12) I da myself. I just had to make it formal, after everything I found out about the Org. I just couldn't have my name associated with it any longer. Ofcourse my family has disowned me but the freedom I feel is so worth it. I'm I still miss them but I don't feel love should be conditional especially in a family. But when you are in the Org. thats exactly what it is. Thanks for listening ,tell me what you think.