Posts by BlackWolf

62

How do you deal with depression?

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

i'm currently going through a bout of depression and my eating disorder has gotten worse.

ever since my parents actually told me that they are going to kick me out when i turn 18 i've felt kind of hopeless about my life.

my parents won't take me to the doctor because the psychiatrists won't have my "best interests" aka jw crap in mind, because really that's the root of all my problems.. i'm wondering if any of you guys have any advice with dealing with depression?

BlackWolf

I'm currently going through a bout of depression and my eating disorder has gotten worse. Ever since my parents actually told me that they are going to kick me out when I turn 18 I've felt kind of hopeless about my life. My parents won't take me to the doctor because the psychiatrists won't have my "best interests" aka jw crap in mind, because really that's the root of all my problems.

I'm wondering if any of you guys have any advice with dealing with depression? Like I've heard many people say before, "if you don't come into the cult with problems, they'll give you one."

48

Jehovah protects his people. Did he ever protect you?

by TimeBandit in

jw
friends

hello forum.

i started this topic because i had been thinking recently about a story that i had heard many times in different congregations over the years.

kind of a jw urban legend if you will.

BlackWolf

A few years ago my family and I were driving to a convention when I started having extreme stomach pains and became violently ill. When I went to the hospital they rushed me into surgery and it turns out I had a twisted fallopian tube (pretty weird I know). I was only 12 then and I was thoroughly convinced that this was Jehovah punishing me for not wanting to go the convention. I was paranoid for months afterward, I was afraid of not being good enough for God to protect me and him letting me get sick and die at any moment. I now realize how insane it was to think that. It was the doctors who saved my life, not Jehovah's mercy.

21

Can you relate?

by TimeBandit in

jw
friends

i used to try really hard to fit in when i was an active, true blue jw.

somehow it hardly ever paid off.

time after time i attempted to mingle and make jw friends.

BlackWolf

I totally understand! Just last night I was at the meeting and I stood there awkwardly by myself, smiling and waiting for someone to talk to me but of course no one did. I really don't understand why I'm such an outcast, I haven't done anything wrong, and I'm not mean or ugly. I'm not baptized, but I'm only 16 so that's normal. Maybe its because I think differently than the rest of them, and they don't like it that i have goals outside of the cult.

Jws are so hard to be friends with, I realized there's really no point in trying. They judge your every move, and if for some reason your not good enough anymore they will treat you like you dont exist anymore. Its not fair. :(

38

Should I just tell my parents

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

lately i've been feeling just so fed up with this stupid religion i really can't take it anymore!

i'm starting to think that maybe i should just tell my parents how i really feel.

if they treat me too badly or kick me out i could probably stay with my non jw aunt.. ive just reached my breaking point, i don't really care what people think of me anymore.

BlackWolf

Thanks that is very encouraging! As soon I save up some money and get a car, I am out of here. You are right, I can't spend my life trying to please others.

38

Should I just tell my parents

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

lately i've been feeling just so fed up with this stupid religion i really can't take it anymore!

i'm starting to think that maybe i should just tell my parents how i really feel.

if they treat me too badly or kick me out i could probably stay with my non jw aunt.. ive just reached my breaking point, i don't really care what people think of me anymore.

BlackWolf

Kairos: If only it were that easy, but it isn't :(

38

Should I just tell my parents

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

lately i've been feeling just so fed up with this stupid religion i really can't take it anymore!

i'm starting to think that maybe i should just tell my parents how i really feel.

if they treat me too badly or kick me out i could probably stay with my non jw aunt.. ive just reached my breaking point, i don't really care what people think of me anymore.

BlackWolf

Thanks everybody, I'm feeling much more calm today and I'm going to try to lay low for a bit after what happened last night.

The reason i want to be with my aunt is because she went through the same thing as me and would understand. She was raised in "the truth" but never got baptized and faded away. My grandparents don't shun her, only my Dad does. My grandma even told my dad that he was tearing the family apart, but of course he blamed it on her instead because he's a jerk.

Im not very close to my aunt anymore because of my dad but I'm trying to contact her through Facebook. She lives all the way in Iowa though and I live in Florida so its not like I can make a quick getaway but with some careful planning I'm hoping that I can move there when I turn 18. I don't feel bad about leaving my parents, I only feel guilty about leaving my three younger siblings. I'm sure some of them will leave eventually too, my brothers obviously dislike the meetings.

I'm almost done with my homeschooling ( I do an online program, so I get a diploma and everything) so I'm not going back to public school. As soon as I graduate I'm planning on doing an online vet tech course ( its only for two years so my parents don't completely dissaprove) so that when I go to Iowa I can get a decent job.

Anyways thanks for reading all of my random rants, its nice to have people who care. :)

38

Should I just tell my parents

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

lately i've been feeling just so fed up with this stupid religion i really can't take it anymore!

i'm starting to think that maybe i should just tell my parents how i really feel.

if they treat me too badly or kick me out i could probably stay with my non jw aunt.. ive just reached my breaking point, i don't really care what people think of me anymore.

BlackWolf

Well scratch what I just said :( What started with me being a little upset turned into a full blown argument with my parents! I didn't intend for it to be that way but my dad told me he already knew how I felt! They forced me to make a deal with them to try to be a really good jw until I turn 18, and then if I decide I don't want to be a jw they will kick me to the curb!! I can't believe this happened, the act I've kept for so long has been ruined. I tried to reason with them but they just said that I was being influenced by Satan, which drives me insane! My parents are more cruel and unloving than I ever thought. :( I feel like I have no hope, they are complete nuts. I know they are victims but still, I can't believe this!

38

Should I just tell my parents

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

lately i've been feeling just so fed up with this stupid religion i really can't take it anymore!

i'm starting to think that maybe i should just tell my parents how i really feel.

if they treat me too badly or kick me out i could probably stay with my non jw aunt.. ive just reached my breaking point, i don't really care what people think of me anymore.

BlackWolf

Thanks for your advice :) I most likely won't tell my parents about it right now, I will try to wait until I am more prepared to move out. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed today and wanted to talk to you guys on here before I made any rash decisions. Thanks for being so supportive.

38

Should I just tell my parents

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

lately i've been feeling just so fed up with this stupid religion i really can't take it anymore!

i'm starting to think that maybe i should just tell my parents how i really feel.

if they treat me too badly or kick me out i could probably stay with my non jw aunt.. ive just reached my breaking point, i don't really care what people think of me anymore.

BlackWolf

Lately I've been feeling just so fed up with this stupid religion I really can't take it anymore! I'm starting to think that maybe I should just tell my parents how I really feel. If they treat me too badly or kick me out I could probably stay with my non jw aunt.

Ive just reached my breaking point, I don't really care what people think of me anymore. If my parents love really is only conditional (which I think it is) then there's no point in trying to make them happy anyway. The people at my hall are all jerks though, I don't care if they don't like me anymore. I'm only an unbaptized publisher, so I can't be shunned too badly, but my dad is an elder so he may decide to be done with me.

I'm really scared and I don't want this life anymore :( I want to leave so badly. I will be 17 next month but I don't think I can wait another year. Do you guys have any advice? I will have to tell them eventually anyway, I get the feeling that they know I'm not very "spiritually strong" anyways.

20

I feel frustrated

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

hello all, things for the most part have been somewhat better for me because my parents haven't talked about baptism or anything recently.

i got a scholarship to go to art camp for a few weeks which has been fun (since its free, my parents didn't refuse) but it has also been very nervewracking for me.

i haven't been around any non jws for more than a year and its like being in a different world, a world where people are actually real and genuine and not mindless drones.

BlackWolf

Thanks everyone, I havent gone into great detail or anything, just that I have very strict religious parents. Its just that some other kids wanted to hang out with me outside of camp, and of course they don't understand why I can't do that (because its ridiculous). I don't want people to think I'm weird or anything, so I only try to explain when its necessary. It's just that its been so long since I've been around normal kids that I don't really know how to act around them anymore and not seem like a weirdo. :(