Thank you everyone for your advice. This past weekend we went to convention and of course everything was back to normal. I was still expected to take notes and sit next to donation boxes. I wish they would just get the point! I can't handle being this fake for much longer, it's killing me on the inside. Ive just applied for a job so I guess if that works out it would be a good start. Cold Steel, I have discussed college. My parents of course won't support me going to an actual college because of "bad association". They said that as long as I stay at home and be good they will pay for me to get an associates degree online, so they're kind of blackmailing me. Anyways I will continue to contact my aunt and see what happens.
BlackWolf
JoinedPosts by BlackWolf
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33
My parents found out
by BlackWolf inso in my last post i talked about how i had told my younger siblings how i didn't plan to get baptized or ever be a witness.
i thought i could trust them but i guess i was wrong, they're just kids after all.
my oldest brother (who's 11) told on me today.
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33
My parents found out
by BlackWolf inso in my last post i talked about how i had told my younger siblings how i didn't plan to get baptized or ever be a witness.
i thought i could trust them but i guess i was wrong, they're just kids after all.
my oldest brother (who's 11) told on me today.
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BlackWolf
Thanks everyone, seeing others opinions always helps me to think about things. My aunt is awake, she left the cult when she was 20 and then joined the military. I've never met her in person because of this, and my parents always told me she was a horrible person (she seems quite the opposite). Anyways shes moving down the road from my other non jw aunt next month. I think I will stick around here for a little while, hopefully get a job and save up some money. I don't think going to live with my aunts right now would be a good idea since I don't have a way to support myself yet. At the same time having to pretend all the time is miserable, especially since my parents still expect me to go in service.
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33
My parents found out
by BlackWolf inso in my last post i talked about how i had told my younger siblings how i didn't plan to get baptized or ever be a witness.
i thought i could trust them but i guess i was wrong, they're just kids after all.
my oldest brother (who's 11) told on me today.
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BlackWolf
So in my last post I talked about how I had told my younger siblings how I didn't plan to get baptized or ever be a witness. I thought I could trust them but I guess I was wrong, they're just kids after all. My oldest brother (who's 11) told on me today. I guess he got mad because lately he's been wanting to get baptized and I told him he should wait a few years. The only reason I told him this was because I asked him why he wanted to do it and he couldn't come up with a reason. All he said was "Idk, I just want to get baptized" over and over. He's just like my sister, he does whatever he's told. My youngest brother (9) on the other hand is very trustworthy and really listens to what I have to say, but it seems I might not be able to talk about this with him anymore.
Anyways, I got in big trouble. My parents got angry because I was "teaching them false ideas" behind their backs. Apparently I have no right to tell my siblings my opinions because it's against what they want to teach them. They said if I ever say anything about "apostate" stuff again I'm going to have to leave.
So I ended up telling them the truth about how I never plan on being a jw. They told me I could still live with them as long as I fake being a witness and go to all the meetings and stuff. While I feel like I can't really take this much longer I guess I have to. I'm going to find a job and save up as much as I can for a while and do online college. I have a df'ed aunt who I've been contacting who said I could come stay with her if I wanted. She lives very far away though. Maybe once I save up some money, I could live with her for a while? Do you guys think that's a good idea?
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19
Hello again
by BlackWolf inhello everyone, it's been a while since i've posted anything on here so i thought i might give an update.
next month i turn 18 and my mom is constantly berating me about getting baptized, so much so that my siblings have even told her to stop.
ive just been flat out telling her no which i know is irritating her.
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BlackWolf
Yeah my dad has quit the study, I guess he finally realized it was a lost cause. :)
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19
Hello again
by BlackWolf inhello everyone, it's been a while since i've posted anything on here so i thought i might give an update.
next month i turn 18 and my mom is constantly berating me about getting baptized, so much so that my siblings have even told her to stop.
ive just been flat out telling her no which i know is irritating her.
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BlackWolf
I don't know if my siblings looked anything up online or not, I assume my brothers haven't since they are kind of too young to understand this kind of stuff. I did though, that's the reason I'm on the forum.
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19
Hello again
by BlackWolf inhello everyone, it's been a while since i've posted anything on here so i thought i might give an update.
next month i turn 18 and my mom is constantly berating me about getting baptized, so much so that my siblings have even told her to stop.
ive just been flat out telling her no which i know is irritating her.
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BlackWolf
Hello everyone, it's been a while since I've posted anything on here so I thought I might give an update. Next month I turn 18 and my mom is constantly berating me about getting baptized, so much so that my siblings have even told her to stop. Ive just been flat out telling her no which I know is irritating her. My parents may kick me out soon, so I've been trying to make plans about what to do and build up some courage. I've got a decent amount of money saved up, enough to buy a car or live off of for a while. I'm also trying to get in touch with some non jw family members to see if maybe I can stay with them for a little while.
Anyways another thing I wanted to talk about is that I told my younger siblings (who are trustworthy don't worry) about how I don't want to be a jw and my plans to leave. Ive talked to my sister about it before but never my brothers and their reactions kind of surprised me. They totally understood me! Of course they are only 9 and 10 years old so they aren't as close minded, but still I'm so glad. Especially my youngest brother, who said he was glad for me and looked forward to being free when he became an adult as well. He told me how he thought the meetings were pointless and boring (like most kids) and that he thought that the paradise probably wouldn't happen. My older brother wasn't so sure but still agreed with some of the things we talked about and seemed to respect my decision. I hope that they stay this way, they are very smart and I would hate to see them waste their lives. They gave me some hope.
I talked to my sister (she's 15) about it today as well. She is fully indoctrinated though so any good points I brought up she found some weird way to disagree. She did agree with some things though, like how the way women in the org are treated is unfair, and how some rules about things are pretty stupid. She ended up crying though and I felt bad, she said she didn't want me to leave her. We don't have any friends so I know it will be hard for her once I leave.
What do you guys think of all this? My parents will probably start shunning me pretty soon because they think that "rejecting Jehovah" and not getting baptized isn't much different than getting disfellowshipped. I think this is unfair because I never chose this religion anyway, I was just born into it. Anyways if you are reading this, thanks. Sometimes venting like this helps get my thoughts into order.
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20
My mom is into "The Secret"
by BlackWolf inlately my mom's gotten into all kinds of weird "power of positive thinking" kind of stuff.
she watches "the secret" and bob proctor videos all the time, and now she's trying to get me into it.
to me her being into this sort of thing seems kind of hypocritical.
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BlackWolf
Thanks for sharing your opinions. I don't think she is becoming a new ager, it's more like like this stuff just reinforces her current beliefs. I haven't really bothered her about it much, only one time when she was complaining that I was being "too negative" one day and that thinking that way would somehow harm me. That made me kind of angry and I told her I don't believe in that stuff, so then she got angry too.
Anyways, I guess I will just let it go for now. If she did become a new ager, although it is kind of ridiculous, I would actually be very happy. At least she would stop shunning family members. Unfortunately that will never happen (maybe if I think real positively it will? xD)
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20
My mom is into "The Secret"
by BlackWolf inlately my mom's gotten into all kinds of weird "power of positive thinking" kind of stuff.
she watches "the secret" and bob proctor videos all the time, and now she's trying to get me into it.
to me her being into this sort of thing seems kind of hypocritical.
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BlackWolf
I don't think she's awake by any means, I just think she believes anything that makes her feel good emotionally. I don't know if she is happy with her life or not, she is kind of a hard person to read but she does seem to genuinely enjoy being a jw and gets a kick out of judging others. I feel sorry for her sometimes though, I really hope she gets over this.
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20
My mom is into "The Secret"
by BlackWolf inlately my mom's gotten into all kinds of weird "power of positive thinking" kind of stuff.
she watches "the secret" and bob proctor videos all the time, and now she's trying to get me into it.
to me her being into this sort of thing seems kind of hypocritical.
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BlackWolf
Lately my mom's gotten into all kinds of weird "power of positive thinking" kind of stuff. She watches "The Secret" and Bob Proctor videos all the time, and now she's trying to get me into it. To me her being into this sort of thing seems kind of hypocritical. Is all about the subconscious mind and using magical thinking to get what you want, doesn't seem a whole lot different than witchcraft to me. Doesn't the Watchtower always say to avoid this type of self help thing and "worldly thinking"? I am awake and I don't have any issue with people who are into this, I am just angry at my mom's hypocrisy. If I watched that stuff before she was into it I'm sure she would of given me a talking to, telling me how spiritistic it is.
Anyways what do you guys think? Is the "law of attraction" approved by the watchtower? In my opinion the whole concept of it is bs and I hate that she is so controlled by her emotions that she will believe anything. She is always mad at me for listening to my "satanic" music yet she gets to do whatever she wants I guess.
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53
My Dad wants to study with me
by BlackWolf inso my parents continue to pester me about getting baptized.
the other day my dad told me that i was old enough to make a decision, and was wondering why i wasn't ready (assembly is in a few weeks) so i told him calmly that i have many doubts and if i were to get baptized it has to be 100 percent my idea.
he was a little annoyed by this, and now wants to study the "is there a creator that cares about you" book (which is complete bs) with me.
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BlackWolf
So I just finished "studying" with my dad, and I think it went relatively well. I was able to bring up some of my own ideas without getting into a big argument. I ended up telling him that I accept evolution and I can't ignore the facts. One piece of evidence I used is that cetaceans have bones that resemble back feet and serve no purpose. When I asked him what he thought of this all he could come up with is "I don't know", at least he is being honest with himself. I also explained to him what a scientific theory really is, since he had no clue. Anyway the study is going to continue next week and I'm hoping I can bring up a few more points that might open his eyes a little. I'm not going to get my hopes up too much though. I'm trying to be as calm and respectful as I can, and so far he has been the same. I really hope things stay that way. I think he may be bipolar or something because there are times when he is really calm and understanding, and other times when he is really angry and even abusive. I understand he can't help it though, I have mental issues as well.
Anyways, thanks everyone for your encouragement. If your interested in seeing my drawings I have an Instagram: zarahchristensen