GinnyTosken

Joined

• started 33 topics
• posted 663 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by GinnyTosken

• 
  11

  Fighting Words (formerly "Biga Peula")

  by GinnyTosken in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this comes from they have a word for it: a lighthearted lexicon of untranslatable words & phrases by howard rheingold.. ginny.

  biga peula (kiriwina, new guinea).

  potentially disruptive, unredeemable true statements.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  GinnyTosken

  I vote we choose another ritual object for comparison.

  Hmmmm, Six. Bookbags? Tiaras?

  Ginny
• 
  11

  Fighting Words (formerly "Biga Peula")

  by GinnyTosken in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this comes from they have a word for it: a lighthearted lexicon of untranslatable words & phrases by howard rheingold.. ginny.

  biga peula (kiriwina, new guinea).

  potentially disruptive, unredeemable true statements.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  GinnyTosken

  I'm shamelessly bringing this back to the top. I think it is helpful in understanding much of what has happened on the board of late.

  Maybe we can all just start comparing yams when things get too volatile.

  Ginny
• 
  76

  Why Are You Here?

  by larc in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the question, "why are you here?

  " is simple enough, and your answer may be straightforward.

  however, when i asked that of myself, i find that my answer is pretty complicated.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  GinnyTosken

  Hi, Larc!

  It's too late for me to write coherently about why I post.

  Still, I just had to tell you that I admire how you eloquently summed up what I've seen of your character in one sentence:

  So, if you don't like the kinder, gentler Larc, well then piss on you, hee hee.

  Ginny, who loves paradox
• 
  11

  Fighting Words (formerly "Biga Peula")

  by GinnyTosken in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this comes from they have a word for it: a lighthearted lexicon of untranslatable words & phrases by howard rheingold.. ginny.

  biga peula (kiriwina, new guinea).

  potentially disruptive, unredeemable true statements.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  GinnyTosken

  This comes from They Have a Word for It: A Lighthearted Lexicon of Untranslatable Words & Phrases by Howard Rheingold.

  Ginny

  biga peula (Kiriwina, New Guinea)
  Potentially disruptive, unredeemable true statements. [noun]

  In most cultures around the world, certain words or phrases are almost never used because they invariably lead to physical violence, and often to the death of either the person who utters them or the person to whom the words were directed. In the West, these are known as "fighting words," and both their nature and their effect seem to vary from culture to culture. In some cultures and circumstances, insults are considered friendly. And in some countries, an insult to one's horse or manner of dress can be far more odious than the worst kinship-related insults.

  The Kiriwina tribespeople of the Trobriand Islands vest great power in certain unspoken truths (see mokita in this chapter). There are many things in Kiriwina life that everybody is presumed to know about but that nobody talks about directly. The Kiriwina use the phrase biga peula (literally, "hard words," pronounced BEE-kuh POOL-uh) to refer to direct references to certain unspoken truths. Social contracts among the Kiriwina, like social contracts among any other group of people, consist of many arrangements, spoken and unspoken, by which the members of the society agree to pay attention to certain things or to ignore certain things, in order to promote the smooth functioning of the society. Among the Kiriwina, so much power resides in the unspoken social contracts that the rare use of the biga peula can reorder the reality of individuals and entire social groups by forcing them to pay attention to that which is commonly ignored. So much power is vested in these words that the act of "speaking hard words" is irrevocable. Even the most vicious insults can be atoned for by the right kind of apologies and/or reparations. But a Kiriwina cannot redeem "hard words" by apologizing.

  This phenomenon is not confined to the Kiriwina. In many companies, you can get yourself fired by saying out loud what everybody knows to be true: "The boss is an idiot." In every marriage, there are phrases that partners never use, no matter how bitter the argument, unless they are ready for the marriage to end: "I've had a mistress for six years" is biga peula for a husband to say to a wife, just as "You aren't Tommy's father" is a biga peula for a wife to say to a husband. A useful phrase in many of these situations might be: "Wait! Don't say what you are about to say. It could be biga peula for us." But in the rough-and-tumble world of business and other pragmatic enterprises like war and marriage, it is sometimes necessary to speak openly of that which is normally left unspoken. When a board of directors, a platoon, or a family approaches certain critical decisions, it is time for somebody to take the chance of suffering extreme social consequences for the sake of a possible breakthrough by deliberately speaking biga peula.

  Among the Kiriwina, there are only a few alternatives to combat once biga peula have been spoken. One of these alternatives is a ritual that averts outright violence; however, one anthropologist reported that this ritual produced more fear and anxiety than any other public event he had witnessed. See the definition of biritilulo in chapter five for more details of the terror-producing yam-comparing ceremony of the Kiriwina.

  ----------

  biritilulo (Kiriwina, New Guinea)
  Comparing yams to settle disputes. [noun]

  The difference between literal and metaphorical meaning of words and gestures is most critical when it comes to the rites and rituals we use to mediate conflicts between people. In the Trobriand Islands, settling disputes between different social groups can be a thorny matter, even in a racially and culturally homogeneous society like that of the Kiriwina, who believe that people can live together in peace only if nobody talks about what everybody knows concerning certain sensitive matters. Because of the taboos built into their use of language, opposing Kiriwina individuals and groups can find themselves involved in mortal combat if they happen to say the wrong thing in the heat of anger. (See mokita and biga peula in chapter two.) In order to avoid or defuse the potentially explosive situations, the Kiriwina resort to a linguistic abstraction involving an inanimate object that has great symbolic importance in Kiriwina life and lore--the yam.

  Anthropologist Annette B. Weiner, who lived among the Kiriwina, wrote, "A biritilulo [bury-tee-LOO-low] produces more fear and anxiety than any other public event I witnessed." This fearsome ritual occurs when two opposing clans gather in front of witnesses, then retire for a short time and produce a number of yams, which are then exhibited and compared against one another! To understand the way this culture has found a way to use such a seemingly innocuous object as an important social pressure valve, it is necessary to understand the central importance of yams to Kiriwina life and society. Each adult male in the society owns a yam house, which is filled not by the individual's unassisted efforts but through the work of all the men who are related to the owner by means of a network of kinship and clan connections. During the yam harvest, men spend most of their time working for other men.

  Because the yam is a currency and a symbol of important social relationships, the act of displaying a yam is a potent means of drawing attention to the power, abilities, status, or political intentions of the person or group who displays it. When a member of a group makes the mistake of saying the irrevocable "hard words" (see biga peula in chapter two) to a member of another group, the individuals and their associates have the choice of combat or the ritualistic comparison of yams. The offending individual's clansmen quickly organize a biritilulo; as soon as the loud and frightening but ultimately harmless exchange of boasts about the size of the opposing clan's yams is under way, the fighting is averted.

  In contemporary American business practices similar situations sometimes arise, in which people watch their colleagues drift toward mutually destructive infighting and outright conflict, often over an incident where one party or the other made the mistake of saying some "hard words." In politics, these disputes are sometimes handled informally, by the opposing politicians' clans of advisers. In business, a ritual for averting conflict is badly needed. On the international level, wouldn't it be a powerful tool for peace if we could only convince diplomats to use yams instead of armies to settle arguments? The next time you see your boss or your colleague on a collision course, and you are on friendly terms with a friend of the opposing side, perhaps you ought to suggest an Americanized version of biritilulo: Gather at the local bar and select a ritual object for clamorous comparison: A personal computer? Briefcases? Watches?

  -----
• 
  24

  The Man With the Big Nose

  by TMS in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  no offense intended for the anointed ones on this board, but ive always compared such professed ones to martin jensen, who professed nothing for himself except that he wasnt good for much.. this iowa corn farmer became a jw in the 40s, was promptly divorced by his wife, and moved to the southern tip of texas, the end of the world.

  by default he became the presiding overseer of the english unit, although he never gave a public talk.

  there were many unsuccessful attempts over the years to replace him with a more suitable shepherd.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  GinnyTosken

  TMS,

  Your writing leaves me in awe. Your description of the man with the big nose vividly reminds me of the many friends I left behind and why I miss them so much.

  Thank you for sharing.

  Ginny
• 
  305

  Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

  by Seven in

  1. social
  2. humour

  happy monday!.

  had no price tag.

  much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  GinnyTosken

  Hi, folks!

  I found this one on the "Walking Bitch's White Trash Diner" site while I was searching for white trash humor.

  http://wb.bappy.com/

  Ginny

  When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the American ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor.

  At the dinner table the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame de Gaulle. "Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"

  "A penis," replied Madame de Gaulle.

  A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer ... and no one knew what to say next.

  Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said, "Mon cherie, I
  believe zee Americans pronounce zat word, 'appiness."
• 
  18

  A deep and serious question for Francoise

  by expatbrit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  francoise old chap:.

  it has been noted that in several threads you have commented on how wonderful conventions are for, to quote your elegant phrase, "getting laid".. this raises questions in the minds of us (me?

  ) who never had any success whatsoever in this worthwhile endeavour.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  GinnyTosken

  "insupperable odds"?

  So, like . . . should he at least have taken Reagan out to dinner first?

  Ginny, for whom "brick laying" has taken on a whole new meaning
• 
  7

  Who is Freakshow?

  by Roamingfeline in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know logical is always in the chat room, but freakshow has been in there for about 48 hours straight.

  i've never seen a post by that name though.

  just wondering.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  GinnyTosken

  Have you read Freak Like Me: Inside the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow by Jim Rose and Melissa Rossi? My sister recommended it and told me enough about it to make me curious, but I have not read it yet myself. I wonder why people in general react so strongly to people who are different?

  Do you have any specific questions about Jehovah's Witnesses that the folks here could answer for you?

  Ginny
• 
  7

  Who is Freakshow?

  by Roamingfeline in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know logical is always in the chat room, but freakshow has been in there for about 48 hours straight.

  i've never seen a post by that name though.

  just wondering.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  GinnyTosken

  Freakshow,

  No disrespect meant of nothin', but are you related to Sideshow Bob?

  BTW, I have really come to feel a warm affection for Joelbear during my short tenure on this site. I think that SpongeBob Squarepants would be a perfect picture for him, don't you?

  Just listen to this and see if it doesn't match what you know of Joelbear:

  SpongeBob is a sea sponge who lives with his pet snail, Gary, in a fully furnished, two bedroom...pineapple, and has an unusual love for his job as a fry cook at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is as optimistic, earnest, and well-meaning as a sea-dwelling sponge gets . . . SpongeBob can't help looking on the bright side of life, and his positive outlook and enthusiasm about just about everything make him downright irresistible.

  I like SpongeBob, too, because even though he's sensitive and earnest, he firmly stands up for what he believes is right.

  Joelbear, if you're listening, I hope you seriously consider a SpongeBob pic. It would also help me release some pent-up frustration from refraining from creating multiple identities. But then, it might backfire and create an overwhelming temptation to create Patrick, Squidward, and Sandy.

  Anyway, welcome to the board, Freakshow.

  Ginny
• 
  21

  Danny! Seafood!

  by Bendrr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey dude!

  another cooking post for you.. remember i'm still learning the art.. i bought a swordfish steak today and broiled it.

  yum!.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  GinnyTosken

  Danny,

  So does this mean you'd like to be Carmine? Or Lenny? Or Squiggy?

  http://www.whowouldyoukill.com/laverneshirley.html

  Ginny