I've never been DF'd but I know that many of the younger JW's (30 and under) still will talk and hang out with DF'd JW's. I know me and many other's still did when I was in. Otherwise many of the older JW's tend to be more hardlined on the issue.
superman
JoinedPosts by superman
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6
While you were df'd and coming back to the meetings, did you talk to JWs?
by asilentone ini was surprised about my df'd friend that sent me an email very recently that he has been going to the meetings for 2 months.
i would not try to stop him because he loves his jw family too much.
we were very good friends before he got df'd.
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Thank You JWD and all you JWD posters!
by superman ini haven't really looked at this site in the last year (or so), but i can think back to when i first found it.
it was at a time when i was going through a real transition period in my life.
and i am sure that this website 'sealed the deal' for my exiting the wtbts.
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superman
Haha 'LittleBird' and 'Nathan Natas', thanks for posting, I haven't been on this site for a while but it's good to be back and see all of the new posters that have joined. One day I will post 'My Story' giving the details of my life and how I left, but for now it's just good to be back!
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Thank You JWD and all you JWD posters!
by superman ini haven't really looked at this site in the last year (or so), but i can think back to when i first found it.
it was at a time when i was going through a real transition period in my life.
and i am sure that this website 'sealed the deal' for my exiting the wtbts.
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superman
I haven't really looked at this site in the last year (or so), but I can think back to when I first found it. It was at a time when I was going through a real transition period in my life. And I am sure that this website 'sealed the deal' for my exiting the WTBTS. At first I tried to fade (didn't want to DA or get DF'd for my family sake), but after I gave up all of my 'privileges' (mics, talks, attendant, etc) I couldn't sit through anymore meetings or put up with all of the fake people so I just switched my publisher card to a different hall and stopped going immediately. Long-story-short, it's taken some time but I can say I am a happier, more well adjusted adult, who has moved on with life. I was young when I left, so I was able to finish college and have a good job. I've gotten married, and have a new network of 'non-jw' friends. Since I was married I moved over an hour away from the last hall that has my publisher card (so they don't bother me, and no elders stopping by unannounced) and because it's been so long I think I finally fell through the cracks. My advice to anyone who is considering leaving, LEAVE IF YOU CAN life does go on beyond the WTBTS. I was a born in and it was all I knew, but having a support system (like new friends, old DA'd/DF'd JW friends, or a site like JWD) can really help with the transistion out. And one thing that helped me was not dwelling to much on all the bad things I experienced as a JW (it's tough to move forward if you dwell to much on the past). So to all of you who have shared your experiences (some sad, some touching, some heartfelt, and some hurtful) thank you, and keep posting!
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What is your thought in this
by superman inmy wife and i (who are both faders) were having a discussion the other day about how most of the jw kids who were teens in the 90's have now left the religion.
i mentioned from personal examples of people i knew, that the one ones who left early (around age 17-19) seemed to end up (though difficult at first) with better lives.
i knew of several who went to college, or learned a trade, married out of the religion and eventually moved on with their lives.
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superman
My wife and I (who are both faders) were having a discussion the other day about how most of the JW kids who were teens in the 90's have now left the religion. I mentioned from personal examples of people I knew, that the one ones who left early (around age 17-19) seemed to end up (though difficult at first) with better lives. I knew of several who went to college, or learned a trade, married out of the religion and eventually moved on with their lives. However, the one who left later usually had more issues, seemed to continue to return and continue to get DF'd, have beem divorced, etc (or at least a large number of the ones we saw). Since the internet was relatively new in the early 90's there weren't many sites like JWD or much widespread info in regards to organization (info that would be considered apostate by witness standards). So why do you think that so many left? Was it because it was just so strict, was it a matter of religious idealogy (hope I spelled that right,lol), was college so important, or was it just the popular attitude of the time conflicted with the JW lifestyle that the teen's were living?
I think that the current generation of teens born in now will leave (it is already evident, and starting), but I am curious about the last generation.
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superman
I know of a poor person who didn't have a job (couldn't hold a stable one) and was also very lazy. They started to study, and after they came into the 'truth' started freeloading off all of the other friends in the name of having financial trouble because of Satan and the end of the system. Oh wait, my mistake, that was most of them in it!
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Ministerial servant mentions more "empty nester" JW couples getting divorced
by truthseeker ini was talking to a ministerial servant today, and the subject of marriage came up.
he said something very interesting, that recently many of the friends he grew up with in the truth (he is in his 30s) are on their second or third marriage.. he also talked about a more recent phenomenon that more empty nester jws (couples whose kids have left home), are deciding they don't want to stay together and are getting divorced.. we're talking about couples who have been married 20, 25, 30 or more years suddenly deciding to call it quits and it's not necessarily that they are looking for someone else; they simply want out of the marriage.. divorce does seem to be on the increase in congregations, especially the last one i attended.. it reminds me of a scripture in malachi we would sometimes hear about "not divorcing the wife of your youth".
why do you think divorce and separation are on the rise among long time married jws?.
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superman
I think like most other poeple in general, people get divorced for many reason, and sometimes because marriage is just plain difficult. Though I think that this trend is somewhat alarming within the JW world. I don't think that it is really all that much of a schock to many outside of the witnesses. I personally have seen many people (non-jw) who were married call it quits after 20+ years of marriage. I think the reason why it comes as such a shock is because as witnesses were always told of extreme cases of 'worldly' people getting divorced all 'willy-nilly' for any reason. But us witnesses, we were special and able to make things work and stick it out no matter how difficult they were (all you need is a prayer and some WT articles to make things work). I think that marriage is difficult for anyone (Both JW and Non-JW), and witnesses aren't immune to the same challenges that affect the worldy people. In fact I know of a lot of young witnesses (30 and under) who are already divorced. I think if you go into it with blinders on, thinking that god will help you, or you marry for the wrong reason from the get-go it's bound to fail no matter what!
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We are switching halls...
by cognac ini think that means that we are going to go to even less meetings and just generally have less to do with the jws because the hall we are at now is where all his friends are... unless somebody tries to take him under his wing and screws everything up.... btw, this was his idea.
thoughts?.
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superman
If I can give you any advice as I am now on my 3rd year of the Fade (And trust me it was hard since I was in it DEEP). You have to start by making some friends outside of the hall (or as I call them REAL friends). Once people in the hall find out that you are hanging out with worldly people they slowly shy away from you (but it's still good because you can't get DF'd for this). Plus it's good because as you get more friends outside of it, you become less dependant on the hall, and thus miss it less (at least that helped me).Then when it comes to elders trying to take you under their wing (as they did with me), you just have to be too busy for them. What worked for me was that I would sometimes actually agree to meet with (usually it would be something casual like for a family study, lunch, or service) then I would purposly cancel last minute ("Oh, I know we made plans but I'm going to have to cancel as I forgot I had already made plans with someone else") After a while I got a rep as being unreliable and since most of them hated having their time wasted, they stopped trying to invited me out for encouragment. Then you have to slowly stop entering field services time and the rest will come in line . GOOD LUCK with the fade!!!
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I'm perfect you're doomed: Tales from a Jehovah's witness upbringing
by superman inme and my wife just got this great book from the library entitled 'i'm perfect you're doomed:tales from a jehovah's witness upbringing' writtin by kyria abrahams (an ex-jw).
i'm not sure if anyone else has mentioned or read it (it's still fairly new), but it is a great book.
for anyone who was raised in the 'troof' or group up in it you will find it very interesting.
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superman
Me and my wife just got this great book from the library entitled 'I'm perfect you're doomed:Tales from a Jehovah's witness upbringing' writtin by Kyria Abrahams (an ex-jw). I'm not sure if anyone else has mentioned or read it (it's still fairly new), but it is a great book. For anyone who was raised in the 'troof' or group up in it you will find it very interesting. This book is also great for Non-Jws in that it tells what life is like for a JW kid growing up. I think that the way this book it is written is extremely effective in exposing what it truely means to be JW to an outsider. In the book Kyria tells about her life (starting off from an early age) about how it was to have to endure the stupid rules of JWism. But what makes it interesting is that in the book she simply lays it out without coming off as a disgruntled victim, or bitter cry baby. I think her doing this gives readers a non-biased outlook, into just how crazy her life as a JW kid/Adult really was. The book is VERY funny and it explains the different things such as DFing, the Blood rule, and other JW things so that outsiders are able to get a feel for life as a JW. Reading the book took me back to the days and feelings of how it felt to be such an outsider (but her take on it is comical). Reading this book is almost like therapy for anyone how is a recovering Ex-JW or still in. CHECK IT OUT
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The Biggest B.S. stories you've heard from a talk
by superman ina few years ago at a convention, they related a story of a jw who was shot during service.
but rather then stop and get medical attention (like a normal person would have done) they moved on to the next door to finish the street.
when they got to the house the householder just so happened to be a (you guessed it) nurse!
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superman
The one about the murderer in the territory who didn't kill the sisters who came to his door, so the elders went to his house to ask him why he didn't kill her. He said, "What, with those TWO GIANT GUYS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND THEM?" I heard this story at least twenty times in a bunch of different congregations. A sister I know at Bethel told me she has heard it from visitors hundreds of times, and it "recently happened."
I heard that one too, but it's like an urban legend. It's from a person, who it from another person, who it from someone else. However, you never actually directly hear it from the person who the story is about.
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What UNUSUAL MARRIAGES have you seen among JW's?
by BonaFide inthese are couples that i know personally.. a brother i know married a sister 36 years older than him.
he was 35, she was 71. they are still married 5 years later.
they do not get along, and they make that known to the entire hall.. a brother that has been married twice and is 50 years old recently married a 19-year old.
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superman
I knew of a guy who was married and his wife passed away, but I guess he must have liked the family so much that when he remarried, he remarried his late wifes older sister.