@Tatiana
As eerie as it is,you are almost exactly like my older sis..she would just get depressed,and cry all the time..which further angered me. She got beat up a lot by my mom too,but usually i did so much stuff,that my mom wouldn't even notice her sometimes. Till this day i'm VERY protective of her.
My mom for the most part,i believe genuinely doesn't remember what she did...she repressed the memories to such a degree that,years starts blending together for her,and she doesn't remember specifics,EXCEPT when it's stuff that i did.lmao she got mad when I told her that i noticed it,and i started calling it"selective memory"..at that point i told her,i remember everything..all the way back till i was about 2 or 3..i actually remember not being able to read,or walk very good. At 3,I was attacked by a doberman pincher as the owner of the dog,who would later be my brother's father,laughed on the porch with his sister..they laughed really hard when i didn't cry like a normal kid,but instead bit the dog's ear as it was biting my ankle,then i put my fingers in it's eyes and tried to pull them out..i never forgot that,it was at that point that i stopped trusting ANYONE fully,not even my mom..
My sister was molested by one of my grandmother's "friends" when she was a kid,ever since it's like she's had low self esteem so she tends to be attracted to abusers,and losers. After learning about it,I still hate my grandmother till this day for that(among other things),and I was a baby when it happened. I stopped my sis from getting raped twice when we were kids,because we started staying with each other when she was about 10,and i was 4,it was common knowledge around the neighborhood,that we were alone in the house,so theoretically,anyone could do anything...
The first guy,knocked and tried to make up an excuse for her to open the door,when she wouldn't..he busted in,he threw her on the couch,and tried to rip her shirt off,i ran to the kitchen and grabbed a freezer knife,the biggest i could find,and quickly climbed on his back,and pressed it to his adam's apple,and yelled in his ear"GET THE f@CK OFF MY SISTER OR YOU DIE TODAY!!",he put his hands in the air,and I took the knife away..i told him to leave,or that i would drive it through his guts,and he did..i was 4 at the time...
The second guy was the son of a teacher at the school I attended,he didn't know us..but found out where we lived from some guys in the neighborhood,he was obsessed with her,and had been calling and threatening to "come over",my sis would tell him that my mom was on her way home,and he'd buy it, till one day,he actually did come over,saying"I know she ain't coming,____ told me what time she get's off work" he damn near knocked the door off it's hinges getting in,then he tackled her,and tried to start ripping her clothes off..I flew into a rage,I was punching him in the head and back,but he was so much bigger than me,it had no effect on him. So i stopped,walked to my moms room,went to the bottom of her closet,and brought out the .38 my aunt had given her for protection,I ran back to the living room,where he had her on the couch with his head in her shirt,i put the barrel in his ear and cocked the hammer back,I calmly said"I told you to the get the f@ck off my sister..didn't i?...but you couldn't hear me..know i'm gonna help you with your hearing by giving you an extra hole in your head!" He started crying and saying some kind of prayer and trembling..I laughed,and said "Oh..you want God to help you now?..what about the f@ck? you sure you don't want to finish?,so i can send you to meet him in person?" He pleaded with me not to shoot,and I told him that I wouldn't as long as he got himself up,and out of my house,and out of my neighborhood..NEVER to return..I think i was about 10 at that point.
That day i told my sister that I,her little brother,would never let anyone harm her ever again..that even if they killed me in the process of stopping them,i'd take them with me as my final gift to her. After that all happened,I started lifting weights,and practicing different types of Martial Arts,I taught myself some Dim Mak,as well as the powerful,yet swift strikes from Thai Boxing,I started training with different type of weapons,even making my own from scratch form the illustrations in the books i read,I learned to make booby traps,and I placed them under windows around the house,then camoflaged them. I started conditioning myself by punching and kicking trees to toughen the skin on my hands and shins,i'd sometimes sit in ice cold water in the tub to learn how to regulate my body temp in case i needed to wait for someone in the elements,i gave myself pnuemonia twice because of it.
I only stopped all of that when i became a dub,and started believing in what they were selling..but it wasn't to last,they got a kick out of trying to push me,then reprimand me with their bullshit..i'm gonna stop right there,cause if i start thinking about that again,it won't be a good day tomorrow..
