My basic story is that I, being a multigenerational JW, cannot emotionally handle losing my loved ones if I walk out on this religion. So, I am making the best out of this incarceration. I can honestly say that in the congregations I am not alone so we of like minds keep each other company while enduring the misery of the Organization.
My heart goes out to you completely. I understand the feeling so 100%....
You have 100% right to be happy. And you get to decide what those terms are. I will not judge you. It is a very difficult position to be in and you love people that are in.
The great thing about being out, is, you get to decice what will make you happy as a person...
I lost some family members because of being outted and the devastation is impossible sometimes.
You need to do what will make you happy. Period... I am happy that you have learned to think outside of the cult and maintain some sort of balance. I applaud and support you completely....