Posts by HB

23

Non JW friends don't understand

by kozmo in

jw
friends

it never ceases to amaze me that your personal friends have no clue what it is like to have been one.

i was speaking with a friend the other day about having been a jw.

she said, oh i have a dear friend of 30 years who is one and she is so nice!

HB

Just to say that although I guess I'm quite rare, I'm at least one outsider who has made a huge effort to properly understand and empathise.

I've never been a JW, never been in a Kingdom Hall, never had any family members in the Organisation, and yet I believe I now really do understand, as much as it's humanly possible to do so, what you have all suffered in different ways and what the cult is al about.

I have made it my business over the past 7 years to comprehend the effects of JW lifestyle and empathise with all of you. I have put a huge amount of time and effort into learning the Watchtower history and all the JW teachings like 607, the overlapping generations and the failed prophesies. I have attended three 'apostafests' and chatted with many exJWs to understand their stories.

Most of all, I have befriended someone from the forum (he doesn't now post), who has been through a lot and he has taught me so much. We have now become lifelong friends.

It sometimes breaks my heart to read the life stories of former JWs, but I've observed that even those who haven't suffered major traumas as a JW, are invariably left with some kind of negative after effects. Some have depression, some suffer PTSD, some can't rid themselves of fear or guilt, some have social anxiety and some just feel like misfits, the list goes on. I just wish I could befriend and support everyone!

I read this forum more or less every day, but I post very rarely. I'm not well known so people mostly pass over any comments I make but it's not a problem. I have been observing from the side-lines as all the various changes have been made. I watched all the ARC hearings, I've read many Watchtower articles, books videos and regularly grimaced through the travesty that is JWTV.

People ask me why I bother. I'm fortunate to be a happy, healthy, balanced, normal everyday person with a husband and close family, a great social life and no issues or problems in my life. My family and friends think it's a bit of an eccentric hobby. But I was compelled to get involved because of what I saw.

I joined the site for advice in 2008 when a 20 year old friend was being sucked into the cult. Thanks to the help of members of the forum, she was 'rescued' just before getting baptised, much to the grateful relief of her parents.

I was very indebted to this forum for the help I was given and I stayed around as I found everything about the religion both horrifying and fascinating.

Whilst my young friend was studying with the JWs, I saw first hand the indoctrination, the judgemental attitudes and the control. The study conductor regulated every aspect of my friend's life, checking her bedroom for demonised objects, throwing out books, CDs, crystal ornaments etc. She was not supposed to talk to me as I was supposedly an 'agent of Satan'.

My friend became severely depressed and did something 'immoral'. She confessed and had a meeting with three Elders. The meeting was secretly recorded and i heard them tell her that if she had lived in the days of the Israelites, she would have been stoned for her actions. This and many other disgusting things about the religion, caused me to hate it and want to help to weaken it and support anyone trapped in it that i could..

So I have had discussions with two sets of JWs on the ministry who I invited in (I'm sadly now on the 'do not call' list) and I have chatted with quite a few in London. I'm proud that now i know enough to make them think and give them a major challenge.

So although many on the outside won't want or be able to empathise deeply with what you have been through, bear in mind that some just might!

Love to you all,

Heather B

4

Results of an international survey - Love, Health, Money, Power etc, what do you most want in life?

by HB in

some of you might be interested in the results of a 'yougov' survey into peoples aims in life.

see: https://yougov.co.uk/news/2015/12/23/wants/.

over 18,000 people in 17 countries were asked to think about their lives and to say which of 12 key areas they most want in life and which single one they want most overall.

HB

Some of you might be interested in the results of a 'YouGov' survey into people’s aims in life.

See: https://yougov.co.uk/news/2015/12/23/wants/

Over 18,000 people in 17 countries were asked to think about their lives and to say which of 12 key areas they most want in life and which single one they want most overall.

The choices (listed here in the order of preference chosen in the UK) were:

Love
Better Health
Money
My own family
Free time
My own home
Career success
Creative fulfilment
Spiritual progress
Moral virtue
Physical beauty
Power.

The countries polled were:

Australia, Britain, Denmark, France, Finland, Norway, Sweden, USA, East China, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Malaysia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Thailand, UAE

I'm not quite sure why they didn’t include India, Russia or any African or South American countries, but I guess the intention was to draw a contrast between east and west rather than to get a worldwide picture.

There is a chart on the website which can be sorted by column headings to see the order people in each country rated each choice. Each choice is given a score for each country. It's not clearly explained but apparently, the score is calculated by balancing the figures for which of the 12 key areas people most want in life with which single one they want most overall.

It has to be acknowledged that the answers people give in surveys may not always be true to the way they act in real life, but nevertheless some of the statistics are interesting.

In six of the nine Western countries in the survey, love is given priority, whereas in the East, health, followed by money comes top, and love is only sixth on average.

The USA stands out as different from other western countries in how much importance is placed on spiritual progress. Eight of the ten countries where spirituality has a score over five are in the East. The USA is the only western country to give it a high priority (rated 13), equivalent to Indonesia, and just above Saudi Arabia with a score of 12, UAE with 11 and Thailand with 10. In the West, the importance of spiritual progress is scored 8 in Finland and 7 in Australia, but the rest of Europe rate it very low with scores of only 5, 4 or 3.

Do the US citizens on this forum think the stats showing that Americans rate spiritual progress equal with better health and second only to love, are reflective of what you see in your country?

Posters here are never going to be a demographically balanced sample, but it would also be interesting to hear about the personal list of 'life aims' of members of this forum. I wonder if the stats for each country represented on the forum would pan out anywhere near equivalent to the survey?

71

I Hate the Sound of the Word Jehovah

by cofty in

listening to clips of the latest manipulative video from the watchtower i realised how much i detest that word - jehovah.. sometimes i have thought it would be interesting to observe a meeting or part of a convention.

every time i heard that word i would be unable to stay in my seat.. i have a visceral reaction every time i hear it.

it stands for so much that i have contempt for.

HB

I have always hated the sound of the word Jehovah, and I’ve never been a JW, never been in a Kingdom Hall or been personally affected by the JW religion.

Reading through the above posts so far, and focusing on just posters that don’t like the word Jehovah, people seem to fall into three categories…..

1. Some dislike the word just because of what it is associated with and the bad memories.

2. Some dislike it mainly because of the actual physical sound of the word itself.

3. Some dislike it for both reasons 1 and 2 which have become inextricably intertwined in their brain.

People who are not particularly interested in language probably react to Cofty’s question in a completely different way than those who enjoy words for their own sake.

We mostly all know which type we are…. If poetry leaves you cold, you have no interest in etymology and think literature is a waste of time, that’s fine, you will be in the first category.

You probably think those of us in the second category that can happily spend an afternoon reading a dictionary or thesaurus, or wax lyrical over Shakespeare or Tennyson are mad.

My husband has no concept of what I am talking about when I say a word is beautiful or ugly. To him words are just utilitarian collections of letters and allow him to communicate, they have no other value. (He’s great at maths though!)

For me, the word Jehovah doesn’t have deep connotations or bad memories and I haven't been conditioned into looking at it in a certain way. It doesn’t even create a particular image in my head like the word ‘God’ or ‘Jesus’ does. Neither do I have a problem with the way it looks when written on a page.

But I intensely dislike the sound as I say it or when I hear it spoken by someone else.

It’s bad enough when said by an American or Australian, but for me it’s particularly bad when pronounced by someone with a ‘cut glass’, upper class English accent. (I'm English.)

The reason I don’t like the sound is very personal. Others may feel the opposite.

For me, Jehovah doesn’t roll of the tongue smoothly.

For a start, the sound ‘Jee’ or ‘Jeh’ involves effort. Depending on your accent and how fast you speak, the lips form either a slight open-mouthed pout or a kind of grimace with the tip of the tongue quickly touching the top of the palate. It's a jerky, alert sound, not soothing. (Say ‘Jee’ out loud then contrast for example with the easier, softer, pleasant sounds ‘mmm’ or ‘ooooh’)

The ‘Jeh’ sound doesn’t flow nicely into the next syllable ‘ho’ as the lips have to move to a new very different shape. The tongue moves to the base of the mouth, and the whole jaw needs to move to make the sound.

Then the next syllable ‘vah’ again doesn’t flow smoothly from the previous one and is a spiky, ugly, aggressive sound which is almost spat out.

There are many websites where people discuss phonaesthetics and there are countless lists of people’s favourite and most hated words. Haven't seen Jehovah mentioned in any lists good or bad.

A few words sound good but depict something unpleasant and some are ugly but describe something lovely. But in many cases, cacophonous words describe something distasteful or bad and mellifluous words describe something pleasurable or good.

E.g.: ‘glutton’, ‘grudge’ ‘bulbous’ and ‘phlegm’ are ugly sounds whereas ‘serendipity’, ‘ephemeral’ or ‘luminescence’ are flowing.

I like the sound of Dionysius, Vishnu, Zeus, Athena and Aphrodite, but not Buddha, Bacchus, Thor, Marduk or Mercury. Or Jehovah

There is a kind of very mild synaesthesia going on where the stimulation of the part of the brain that deals with processing sound creates an involuntary reaction in a different part of the brain which deals with pleasure and dislike.

Lastly, if you don’t know about the ‘Bouba/Kiki effect’, it's interesting. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bouba/kiki_effect

155

Headline: "Islamic Invasion: Europe now scrambles for guns." How true is this?

by cappytan in

jw
friends

a year to a year and a half ago, i would have taken this article at face value and believed it.. now, i realize this article comes from a dubious source.

world news daily has a die-hard right-wing bias.

so, in an effort to get real information, i'm asking my european exjw's, is this article all true?

HB

Returning to the topic of the original post, apart from the long term political, moral and ethical considerations of migration, there are more immediate logistical problems to consider.

I spoke to a friend in Munich who is a nurse to ask if she could confirm the truth or otherwise of an article I read, which stated there is a serious strain on relations between migrants and health workers in Germany.
My friend confirmed that the situation in her hospital and others she knows of is pretty bad but it is not getting reported in the German media.

Apparently, on arrival in Germany, a large number of migrants are going to clinics and hospitals for treatment but they refuse to be seen or treated by female staff. However there are not enough male staff to cope and tensions flare.

A fair number of migrants present with exotic diseases which European doctors are not trained to diagnose or treat. Others, particularly from Africa, have Aids, TB and syphilis. These problems are stretching the German health system to its limits.

In some areas, police are having to guard clinics, hospitals, and large pharmacies, because violence has been erupting when migrants are told they have to pay cash for prescriptions.

The threat of violence against staff is quite a major problem. A doctor and two nurses were seriously wounded in one of the top pediatric units in the country when, despite the best efforts of the medical team, a migrant child died. In another case a migrant threw a bag of syphilis infected urine in a nurse’s face.

It is easy to sensationalise these kind of incidents but the problem that causes tension and anger is that in both these cases, the media did not report the crime and the perpetrator was not arrested.

However the point is that in spite of this level of threat, my friend confirmed that at least in her hospital, the vast majority of health workers are not even remotely considering arming themselves, but are continuing to do their job in a professional manner in difficult circumstances.

35

Hey! Wanted to say Hi!

by Miss Worldly in

jw
friends

hey!

i've been hanging around her for a while.

this is the third attempt at my 'hello'.

HB

I'm also a Mrs Worldly, not only have I never been a JW, nor has my husband or any of my close or extended family. I came here in 2008 with a question about a friend who was getting sucked into JW land, & when she was eventually rescued I just stayed here as I enjoyed the interesting debates amongst some very intelligent people. Like Miss Worldly & others, I've learnt a llot I now feel able to debate with JWs when I meet them. I also know other 'world lies' who have often read this site but never joined. I don't post much but with only one unfortunate exception, I've always .been made to feel welcome. Its a great place here for non JWs as well as ex JWs

18

Just recovering from a 'Mormon Mind Melt' ...

by LoveUniHateExams in

i was in town centre about an hour ago to buy a shirt and tie for an upcoming job interview when i was stopped by a youngish, clean cut american young man (20-ish) in a cheap suit.

my heart sank as i thought it was local jws.

to my slight relief, it was mormons!

HB

My sister and I chatted with two young Mormons on the High Street in Romford, Essex.

One was American with stunning ‘Hollywood A-list’ good looks, age about 28, tall and slim; the other was a quiet red-head from Sweden with a chunky build, maybe aged about 20. The good looking one did most of the talking. I strongly suspected that the Swedish guy had doubts about his faith and was not enjoying missionary service.

A few years ago, I would not have had a clue how to talk with them, (I've never been a JW) but regularly reading debates on this forum has taught me a lot. I still have much to learn and I don’t know the bible like most of you here do, so I steer clear of deep biblical debate, but I enjoyed the challenge of making the Mormons think. My sister is a Humanist like me, and although she has no experience at all of debating religious issues, she is very chatty and sociable.

We talked for about half an hour, it was very friendly. During the conversation, my sister asked the Mormons why they dressed so stuffily in suits, and suggested they would have better success engaging with people if they looked more normal, especially in Romford. She recommended T-shirt and jeans which would be appropriate for their age and the town. The older one said their suits were a symbol to demonstrate their respect for a righteous life style, the younger one just looked embarrassed and uncomfortable as if he’d love to rip his jacket and tie off there and then.

My sister invited them to come out with us later that evening to join a group of our friends in the pub, explaining that although we would be having fun, no one would be unrighteous. The American naturally declined the invitation, but we just knew the Swede would have loved to join us, his eyes gave it away.

We covered several topics but the one I recall best was asking if they had ever personally experienced a prayer being answered. The examples they gave were not impressive, and quite superficial, like a headache being cured, but they assure me others had had miraculous answers to prayer.

I asked them why God would take the time to cure a slightly inconvenient headache but fail to answer prayers for starving people in the developing world. The good looking Mormon said that if God didn’t answer such prayers, it must be his will for these people to starve. My sister asked how they could worship a god who behaved like that. I asked if he would be prepared to tell that to the mother of a baby in arms who was dying of mal-nutrition.

The answer he gave stunned me: He said the baby would be better off dead as it would go to Heaven and therefore bypass all the suffering it would have endured on the earth. I gasped slightly and said derisively, in that case, as an act of kindness, why don’t we just go and kill all the babies and young children in the third world right now to save them the bother of living?

The Swede hung his head and was staring at the floor, looking really uncomfortable, and shifting from foot to foot. The American looked confused and embarrassed, and just said that was not quite what he meant. However I knew the point was made so I didn’t spoil the friendly atmosphere by pushing it further and we thanked them for an interesting chat and moved on.

29

Need clarification from someone who speaks JW: What is an "apostate" ...or... an "apostate website?"

by Faithful Witness in

http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2015/jul/27/jehovahs-witnesses-destroyed-notes-about-child-sex-abuse-inquiry-told.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/07/27/us-australia-religion-sexcrimes-iduskcn0q10ih20150727.

http://www.cnn.com/videos/world/2015/07/28/australia-jehovah-witness-sex-abuse-hannigan-lklv.cnn.

HB

I've never been a JW & never even been inside a Kingdom Hall, but having learnt enough over the years of reading this forum to have successfully debated with a JW elder at my door for 30 mins & have him admit he didn't have answers to my questions, I feel proud to call myself an 'honorary apostate'.

5

let us have some poetry

by Sabin in

jw
friends

there was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead and when she was good she was criticized anyway.

(elan golomb, ph.d., trapped in the mirror.

roses are red, violets are blue, i love sex, how about you.

HB

Sing a song o’ sixpence

A pocket full of sighs,

Four and twenty Elders

Telling theocratic lies.

But when the RC was opened

The victims began to sing,

Now wasn’t that a fine witness

Before the judge to bring!

The GB were in their Counting House

Counting all their money,

The Branch were in the dog-house

Not finding it very funny.

The JWs were on Facebook

Claiming evidence is a lie,

When down comes our Angus

And hangs them out to dry!

111

"We Already Forgive Him" - What Does That Mean?

by cofty in

the children of one of yesterday's shooting have told the media that they have already forgiven the killer for what he did.. dylaan roof has not apologised for what he did.

he hates black people and probably regrets not killing even more.. what does it really mean to forgive?.

if the legal system asked the victims relatives what they want done next would they ask for dylaan to go free and unpunished?.

HB

A friend discovered after 25 years of marriage, that her husband had been cheating on her. After a brief separation of six months, once his adulterous affair was over, she told all her family, friends and acquaintances that she "forgave" him and he moved back in. Everyone said how noble she was to forgive.

But just a few of us who know the couple well are aware that In reality she hasn't forgiven him in her heart and feels justified in exacting revenge in hidden and subtle ways. He pays daily for his past actions and his life is now not his own. In public she puts on a pious face of togetherness but in private she gives him hell. He is long-suffering and accepts the way he is treated.

The wife gained much public praise for her 'selfless' forgiveness but in actual fact I know it was not authentic. I believe she did care about him and I'm glad they got back together. But it was also in her interest financially and for other practical reasons to stay married.

I don't like to be cynical particularly about grieving individuals, but I would be very interested to know whether, when they are not in the public limelight, the children who have forgiven the killer of their parents consistently also forgive others in all circumstances.

I hope it is genuine and I'm sure the admiration and commendation they have been given, particularly from Christians for bearing witness to their faith, is a comfort, but seeing the hypocrisy of my friend's insincere forgiveness of her husband has made me question if true and genuine forgiveness particularly at the time of the offence, is humanly possible. (I guess those with Asperger's or autism might outwardly appear to achieve it.)

Christians will say that God gives them the strength to forgive, but to me that's just a delusion.

2

Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans (satire)

by HB in

minneapolis (the borowitz report) scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.. the research, conducted by the university of minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.. these humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information, davis logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said.

and yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.. more worryingly, logsdon said, as facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.. while scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain.

the normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified, logsdon said.. while reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, logsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future.

HB

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report) – Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.

“These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.”

More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”

While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon said.

While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it’s possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.

“These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.”

More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”

While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon said.

While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it’s possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.