Posts by HadEnuf

60

Coming out of the closet/Blowing my cover/My story and I'm sticking to it!

by HadEnuf in

dear friends:.

what a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member.

i now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and i'm sticking to it!).

HadEnuf

Thank you for your welcomes Prudence and kls. So kls...you are a fellow wissssssssssconsinite. Yup...good old Plover. Were you a witness when you visited? Are your relatives witnesses? Or maybe you never have been a witness at all? Just me being nosy. Don't need to name names, or you can message me. Yes..it's good to be out after so many years. My husband and I still can't believe that as relatively intelligent people (well, guess that may be debatable since we were witnesses after all) that we could have been involved in a cult for so long. I think a lot of it has to do with being raised a witness...kind of like that frog story where the frog is in a kettle of water and the water is gradually heated up and the frog doesn't realize it until zippo...he's a goner...just boiled himself to death without realizing it! (sorry, I'm just so addicted to those smiley things). Cathy L.

49

Good Experiences as a Jehovah's Witness

by minimus in

jw
friends

instead of bringing out the negatives about being a witness, let's relate some good experiences!

i'll start.

i remember a sister that brought up all her kids up in the "truth" and her husband was very opposed but later he started studying and he even got baptized.

HadEnuf

Let's see...after some serious thinking about this I came up with the following:

I met my dear husband of thirty years at a witness wedding.

I enjoyed going on breaks in service, but only if they had chocolate donuts with creme filling.

I enjoyed going to conventions because we got to stay at a motel, eat out and get lunch served between morning and afternoon snoozes. (When the new lunch arrangement was instituted that really sucked. The only way I could get the kids to have any enjoyment at the convention was to bring unlimited amounts of pudding, danishes and generic cola.)

I enjoyed going to meetings in the summer because the hall had air conditioning and we didn't.

I enjoyed the picnics and roller skating parties until they were forbidden...yes...they really were forbidden...oops...getting a might too negative there. Sorry Minimus

I liked buying a new dress for every memorial and circuit assembly and at least two new outfits for the district conventions (I would have to wear one outfit from the circuit assembly to the three day district convention because my husband said it was getting way to expensive having to keep up with all the other sisters outfits and we were going to the conventions/assemblies for spiritual upliftment and it wasn't a gosh darn fashion show.)

And I had to get new earrings and shoes to match.

Now I have run out of positive things. And that is all I have to say about that!

60

Coming out of the closet/Blowing my cover/My story and I'm sticking to it!

by HadEnuf in

dear friends:.

what a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member.

i now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and i'm sticking to it!).

HadEnuf

Dear Garnet:

Gee whiz...how horrible for you and your boyfriend/now husband. This lack of love is what has most bothered me in all of what has happened regarding the wedding. And from many of the responses here, I can see that weddings are a point of contention for many when it involves unbaptized, studying persons, etc. But the society is not going to change their unscriptural attitudes, not enough humility to do that; and more people involved in the org. will suffer at their hands. But as stated before; the dirt they do hopefully will open more and more eyes and many will leave the org. behind as the devious cult it really is.

I am sorry that your husband has to continue going through surgery to repair damages from his accident. How typical that the elders first think the worst about someone before knowing all the facts about the situation (accusing him of drunk driving). Shame on them. I hope he continues to improve over time.

Keep your chin up! (In my case it is my double chin I have to keep up!) Cathy L.

60

Coming out of the closet/Blowing my cover/My story and I'm sticking to it!

by HadEnuf in

dear friends:.

what a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member.

i now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and i'm sticking to it!).

HadEnuf

First I need to acknowledge the kind thoughts from: Winston Smith, Blondie, Double Edge, Frannie Banannie, SheilaM, Scully, Panda (six at the wedding??? That just sucks!), ascot, Elsewhere (yes...I'm guilty as charged), refiner's fire, LeslieV, Tinkerbell4125, Shotgun, berylblue and CruithneLaLuna! Thank you for your responses. All this has caused me immense happiness and I had to get up after reading all these posts and do my happy dance.

Panda...as to your comment "grey cells aging"...boy do I know about that one! Every new grey hair I get means one more brain cell has bit the dust. And oh my...have I got A LOT of grey hair.

puttytat...seems to me I sense some jealousy on the part of some members of this board that we are harboring such fine Watchtower material! (Maybe we could get a good price for it on E-Bay???) You've got a point there...a lot of that old stuff is coming back to haunt them. Maybe we should treat this material as we would a box of dy-no-mite...and keep it dry and safe in case we need it in our future pursuit of exposing the society for what they really are and not what they want others to believe they are.

And now...I would like to add a few tidbits to my story that started this thread that in my haste to get the story down before my computer turned itself off (some may say a sign that God is trying to shut me up??) that I didn't mention.

I hope you all don't mind me using you as cheap psychiatric care...unloading this stuff feels soooooooo good!

At one time after we perceived that the elders were failing in their duties to get our son's fiance on the baptism wagon (she had been wanting to be baptized for over a year or more and they kept putting off the questions, etc. and ignoring her. She was not from a family related to the Big Guys and so on and so forth), my husband approached our PO and asked about her progress toward's baptism. He quickly gathered his trusty sidekick, brotherkissthepo'sa**, and cornered my husband (who asked to have our son go in with him but was denied) in the backroom (the infamous interrogation/torture chamber) and proceeded to tell him that it was "none of his business" and then ranted and raved and yelled at my husband for almost 45 minutes. All this witnessed by the aforementioned brotherkissthepo'sa**. Now in our minds...this was what is commonly referred to as a "fit of anger" which I don't think is supposed to be shown by elders. The brother present witnessing this outburst even told another elder friend of my husband's about this fit of anger. Low and behold though, when this came up in one of our many discussions about what had happened with the wedding...the fit of anger had now turned into "righteous indignation." How convenient. What a load of crapola.

I did leave out the part of a half-hearted attempt at an apology to the kids. Two months after the wedding, after my husband had talked with the DO about the situation...he apparently urged or commanded the elders in the Stevens Point congregation (he let the Plover elders off the hook) to apologize to the kids for bungling the situation. So one Sunday morning after the meeting, without any foreknowledge or time to prepare for this momentous occasion, our two kids (now happily married) were ushered into the second school and surrounded by all the elders...apologized to with much weeping and gnashing of teeth. What a crock! The kids were caught off guard and didn't know what to say. The PO attempted to counsel the kids, but was shut down by another elder. So much for genuine repentance.

Now don't you think if they sincerely felt sorry for what they did, they would make reparation's to ALL involved in this dastardly deed? No...none of the families were ever apologized to. The congregation was left in the dark about what really went on...no talk was given to undo the damage done by the unscriptural "marking" talk. They walked away smelling like roses when my son's reputation had been left laying in the mud. They also did not show any "works befitting repentance"...the couple was avoided by the elders and have never once been invited to any elder's home for a meal or any other social activity. Hmfffffffffffffffffff!!!!!!! (But in actuality...this is a very good thing, but hurtful to them).

Also...to show how bad the Stevens Point congregation was even before this happened... Not soon after the wedding fiasco, the society brought in three new elders to replace our PO and take over control of the congregation. When we asked these new elders if anything was going to be done about what these elders had done...the reply was that they were there to "Rehabilitate and refurbish" the elders and what was past was past!! We should try to be more forgiving. Needless to say...the new elders were almost immediately our other elder's new best friends! I guess birds of a feather do really flock together!

And furthermore...the week after no one would attend our son's wedding...some of the elders attended a "worldly" wedding of a couple whose mother was a witness in the Plover congregation. They had been living together (OH MY) and were having a full-blown Lutheran service...tho not in a church. These elders and their wives had no qualms about attending this wedding/reception. The next month, in October, just about every single elder from Point and Plover attended a huge wedding down in Madison where underage drinking was rampant, the music was questionable (whatever that means) and there was body passing during the dancing (including the bride!). All these elders who morally could not attend my son's wedding participated in this drunken, out-of-control wedding reception. We left early because it was so unbelievable. Is that a double standard or what?

Oh boy oh boy...guess I had better shut up now. But I think I've gotten most of it out. I apologize profusely for my moaning and complaining, but after 4 years I needed to unload this on someone other than my poor hubby. I know I could even add more to this; but you've probably heard it all before and worse; otherwise you wouldn't be here now would you???

Gotta go...my domestic duties are calling me. Hope you all have spectacular days! Cathy L.

60

Coming out of the closet/Blowing my cover/My story and I'm sticking to it!

by HadEnuf in

dear friends:.

what a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member.

i now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and i'm sticking to it!).

HadEnuf

puttytat...hmmmm...maybe we should save that old stuff. We have watchtowers going back to the early 1900's (or maybe even earlier); never really looked them over. Guess I was too busy reading all the new light...cough, cough, hack, hack. It did come in handy though. We have it stacked in back of my potting table and one day one of my tools flipped out of my hands and flew back there and was saved by a, I think it was an old bible story book. I think that was the best thing they ever did for me because I didn't have to move that old heavy potting table and confront probably thousands of spiders and other creepycrawlies. Yup...you're right...that literature might just come in handy some day! Cathy L.

Sorry Garnet...I meant to say your husband, not your boyfriend when talking about the drunk driver. And is he doing okay???? I sure hope so.

60

Coming out of the closet/Blowing my cover/My story and I'm sticking to it!

by HadEnuf in

dear friends:.

what a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member.

i now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and i'm sticking to it!).

HadEnuf

Yes...I am truly overcome by so much GENUINE caring here. Thank you all so much for your encouraging words and stories. Candlestick02...I am so happy for you that you found a good man and are happy. I look back at all the baptized couples who had huge, over-the-top weddings overseen by elders (who can turn down an open bar and all the Point beer you can drink?)...most of them I know, from being my son's friends, having been "naughty" before they were married and their marriages are either just barely holding together or they're already divorced. Such a double standard. AND...please, would someone tell me how a person can grown up as a JW; stick up for their beliefs all through school, go out in service, attend meetings, answer, etc. etc. etc. and not be a BELIEVER???? Where in the world did the Most Faithful and Wonderful DIScreet slave come up with that one? Anyone who has one eye can read and see that the bible clearly and plainly shows that someone BELIEVED and then they were baptized! How can you preach and not believe what you're preaching? Duh, duh and double duh. jeeeeeeeeeeeshhh...there goes my blood pressure again. But anyway...good for you Candlestick02.

Garnet...what a sad story of abuse. Where are the loving brothers and sisters when you need them the most? Your boyfriend almost killed by a drunk driver and sounds like they hopped over to walk by you on the other side of the road aka the Good Samaritan illustration. JW's certainly do not mimic the good samaritan do they? They just jump over the body in their rush to get to the next not at home.

Panda...EauClaire, WI huh? Again...a small world. Did you know Robert (Bob) and Luann Snyder who lived not far from there? They are related to us through marriage. Just wondering.

You have all just MADE MY DAY! Cathy L.

60

Coming out of the closet/Blowing my cover/My story and I'm sticking to it!

by HadEnuf in

dear friends:.

what a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member.

i now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and i'm sticking to it!).

HadEnuf

Golly Gee Whiz...I just stepped away to use the "powder room" and when I got back (well; actually I did some laundry, tended to my dying garden and slugged down two pieces of questionable pizza I found in the back of the fridge)...low and behold...so many postings! Probably quite a few of you have stories much worse than ours...I may have even read them here...but so much in common. Now I'm gonna pretend I'm at the X-JW Academy Awards show (though I really prefer the MTV awards exceptin' for some of the X rated stuff...yes...I still do have some moral integrity contrary to popular opinion, mostly JW).

I would like to thank the following people for their kind words of support.

Yizuman, Euphemism, Lady Lee, SixofNine, little witch, happyout, stillajwexelder, drwtsn32, Swan, Waiting, Gopher, garybuss (you sly fox you...I am just finishing up "Armageddon Okies" and am pretty sore from falling off my couch after fits of laughing...you ARE the one and same who wrote those crazy wonderful letters aren't you?), candlestick02 (wow...you poor baby...I extend my deepest sympathy to you for the persecution you underwent as a result of your elders and what they have been taught by the Depends Club in NY!), Gamaliel, jgnat, gambit, onacruse & dmouse. So many familiar names; I admire you all. It's lonely coming out when you're by yourselves...but I don't feel so alone anymore.(tears of joy) (have to quit now...the band in the pit is drowning me out and I gotta leave the stage.) Cathy L.

60

Coming out of the closet/Blowing my cover/My story and I'm sticking to it!

by HadEnuf in

dear friends:.

what a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member.

i now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and i'm sticking to it!).

HadEnuf

Thanks all...it's good to know I've got friends somewhere! Sorry; spelled by name wrong when I ended my post...it's LaszewSKI...guess after writing all that my mind must have hit the wall! At least I still have a mind left! Cathy L.

60

Coming out of the closet/Blowing my cover/My story and I'm sticking to it!

by HadEnuf in

dear friends:.

what a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member.

i now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and i'm sticking to it!).

HadEnuf

WARNING...Long, long post...do not be afraid. It's really kind of interesting if you've got some extra time and a load of patience!

Dear friends:

What a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member. I now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and I'm sticking to it!). My name is Cathy Laszewski (and that's for anybody lurking out there who goes to the Stevens Point or Plover, WI congregations...be sure to print this out and hand it over to the elders...oh my...that may be a problem because then you would have to explain what you were doing on this nasty website!) My husband and I both were raised in the organization, each with fathers not involved in the witnesses. I was baptized at the age of 15, my husband at 12 (oh my...he must have really known what he was signing up for at that tender age!), we are now 49 and 52. So that's a long, long time in the org. All his family on his dad's side are staunch witnesses along with his mom and brother; just my mom, sister and brother on my side. I won't bore you (if you're not already bored) with the details of our childhood...as most of you know what that is all about anyway.

We have two sons, 25 and 20. Older is baptized...younger is not. (I'd say praise the Lord about the younger one if I knew there was a Lord for sure). We were cruising along at witness speed for most of our lives...my husband attained the title of MS...never reaching the pinnacle of eldership because he just didn't want to be judging his brothers and sisters. I also developed severe health problems in 1989 and he needed to take care of me and the kids. (He resigned as Account servant at this time...stuck around for a while because we were building a new hall...and then when he wasn't needed they announced that he was REMOVED as account servant...that of course started the gossip mills a turning...Hmmmm...could he have embezzeled??? This was done in complete contrast to when our presiding overseer was REMOVED from his position because of who knows what but we have a pretty good idea...and actually was given the rare privilege of giving his own "farewell" talk...so most were bamboozled into thinking he was "stepping down" because of health concerns, etc. Go figure!)

Now where was I...oh yah...from the time I developed my health problems (due in my mind without a doubt to the pressure of performing as a good little witness wife & mom) until around 1999; we encountered all kinds of what we now know as abuse from our body of elders. Elders interrogated people as to my movements within our small town to make sure I wasn't "faking" my illness and getting out of field service, meetings and feeding hungry circuit overseers and visiting speakers. Even my poor mother-in-law was asked how often she saw me leaving our home (they live next door) and it had been reported that I had been seen driving around town in our old Suburban (big...for service). Well...of course, sick as I was, I still had to get groceries and run errands with two school age kids...sure didn't get any help from the congregation...guess they were too busy on their "stake-outs" of my suspicious doings and participating in field service and having extensive donut breaks. When my mother approached our above mentioned PO about how they were treating me...he dug up every piece of dirt he could (well...it was dirt in his dirty small mind) and gave my mom a run down on what un-spiritual people we were (my husband attended tech school in the early 70's; OH MY!) and we had a small run in with the people who did some sewer work in our yard who pulled out some large pine trees which they agreed upon not to do...then we complained and persuaded them to replace them...I guess our PO, who is a local businessman and knows everyone and everybody in town (and all their business too) got wind of this and said we made such a big stink that we were giving a bad name to the JW's (as if they don't do that all by themselves)! He even attacked my husband's parents (his dad is now 92 and his mom is 89) as being materialistic because they both worked full-time for many years. (Smart people...they actually had money to retire with when the big A didn't come and destroy life as we know it). Okay...bla, bla, bla and so on and so forth...you catch my drift.

So what finally catapulted us out of the org you may ask? A wedding of all things! My son dated and became engaged to a lovely young woman in our congregation, raised as a witness...studying to go over the questions for baptism. Now wouldn't you call her a "believer"? We did. Of course we knew that since she wasn't baptized yet we couldn't have the wedding in the most Holy of Holies the KH...so we arranged to have it at a local Holiday Inn. We knew no elder would even marry them since she was still unbaptized...no problem...my husband married them. But through all of this we still considered her a JW, a believer and most of the responses we got from other JW's were congratulatory and excited...INCLUDING many elder's. Unbeknown to us...behind the scenes...a great drama was unfolding. The first inkling we got of this was when no one showed up for the bridal shower. Well...a few relatives and a few close friends...but mysteriously no elders/MS wives and many other close friends from the KH. What a let down and shock for the bride-to-be and her groom-to-be. Later that evening we learned from the PO's brother (everyone in our congregation is related...a dynasty of Laszewski's) that the elders had held a meeting and determined (and our sister congregation Plover was included in this) that our bride-to-be was actually an UNBELIEVER...since ANYONE who is not baptized is considered such by the org; and elders/MS wives were forbidden to attend, along with those they let in on the big secret. They didn't bother to let US in on this. We had been JW's for over 40 years and this was news to us (the believer/unbeliever thing)! Well...we kind of got over this and went on with wedding plans. Then, to our astonishment...the week before the wedding both congregations gave talks about not attending such a wicked wedding where a baptized brother was marrying an unbeliever. The Stevens Point talk was a marking talk for my son...this done with no warning, no counsel from the elders to our son or his bride-to-be...zip...nothing. The talk was slanderous in that they said he had been duly warned about marrying an unbeliever. Lies. We even obtained a tape of the talk. When the brother assigned the talk (our PO was too much of a coward to give it himself) was confronted with this slander; he denied saying it. We played the tape for him. No response. Duh! Our kids were heartbroken as were all the parents and other close relatives. A wedding that had originally been planned for 250 to 300 guests was attended by 130 people. After the marking talk...many who had replied that they were coming just never showed up. Such LOVE. Such KINDNESS. Such CRAP!

Over the next year and a half my husband and I (my son sent a letter to the society that he was slandered and never received a reply...maybe they used it for toilet paper, oh no, they all wear Depends) launched a campaign to get any elder, CO, DO, service committee in NY and finally the governing body itself to listen to our story and right the wrong. We were met again and again by roadblocks, lies, deception and the stock "leave it in Jehovah's hands". No repentence...no punishment for the lying, slandering elders.

Through this experience we finally came out of our stupor and realized that we were involved in a cult and needed to remove ourselves before more damage was done to our minds and hearts. We are shunned by most in the congregations (we are not disfellowshipped or disassociated...we're going for the fade-away)...my mother, sister and brother do not speak to me anymore. Our daughter-in-law actually got baptized after all this and they still think they're JW's...but they rarely attend meetings, are inactive and also shunned by most in the congregation. The elders avoid them like the plague. (Of course this makes me happy...but I would really like to see them totally OUT...but they're young and foolish and still wearing their rose-colored glasses...but me thinks they are getting a bit foggy; the glasses, not the kids).

We have discarded our "theocratic" library (it's in our back shed gathering dirt and cobwebs and hopefully the mice will use it to build nests with again this winter. We probably should burn it all but my husband says they may not burn...you know...like the society says about demonized books! He also tells me not to look at the KH when we drive by as I may turn into a pillar of salt.) Our library now consists of Ray Franz's books (thanks Ray & Cynthia), Randy Watters books (thanks Randy), Steve Hassan's books on cults and mind control (thanks Steve); and many assorted books by those formerly known as JW's and other scholarly works exposing the witnesses for what they truly are.

The past four years have proved to be traumatic and wonderful all at the same time. Not so coincidentally...since leaving my health has improved enormously. I'm now just taking three anti-depressants...ain't that grand? We feel freed from prison...we take long rides on Sundays, go to movies on Saturdays (even OH MY...R rated ones!). We are landscaping and gardening in our back yard like crazed tree huggers. We are finally learning to live.

So thanks everyone for all your thoughts and comments over the past few years while I lurked here and finally actually posted on occasion. You have been my support group and the sanity in an insane time of life for us. And it just wouldn't be right to end this without thanking our former elders...because without their uncaring, unloving, hypocritical, lying ways we might still be stuck in the org. Love to you all and if you actually read this all the way through...thanks for your enduring patience and listening ear. Cathy Laszewksi aka HadEnuf

25

Comments You Will Not Hear at the 8-17-03 WT Study

by blondie in

comments you will not hear at the 8-17-03 wt study

reviewer comments are in black and parentheses ().

wt quotes are in red and quotes ""

HadEnuf

When I was very ill for over 10 years...the elder's were always on my back to get to more meetings, stay regular in service, etc, etc, etc. THAT was what would make me feel better. It never ended. Nag, nag, nag...pick, pick, pick . Made me feel worthless and only made me sicker. When someone breaks their leg do you encourage them to join a marathon? No...you let them heal and then let them gradually work their way back to just being able to walk without pain or a limp. The whole organization is guilty of heaping loads and loads and more loads on the sheep and hasn't a clue to the emotional abuse they are heaping upon the sheep they are supposedly keeping safe in their "bosom" of protection.