grizzly32

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I can't say I'm totally comfortable registering and filling out a profile here but each day gets easier. My parents divorced when I was six and my mom remarried shortly thereafter to my stepfather who was studying at the time. His zeal for the truth mixed with his absolute totalitarian way of parenting caused major problems in my family which continue today. The worst of it culminating when he(stepfather), thru my mom who had full custody, wouldn't let my sister and I see our dad as much since when with him he wouldn't let us go to Sunday meetings. I thought then and still do that this could be the single best way to stumble someone from ever wanting to be a witness. Stepfather eventually fell back into drugs and alcohol about the time I was in highschool. Went to live with dad to get away from him, but only at moms request. She has stayed with him to this day. A few years after graduating highschool I became a servant and on occasion aux pioneered. Moved to Cali at 23 and slowly but surely lost my zeal. I wasn't used as a servant in Cali when I settled into a congregation because they wanted to get to know me more first. My field service time was slowly becoming dismal and was never really at the average so I was never reappointed. I bought a business which took a lot of my time. I got privately reproved and never really came back from that. Just couldn't deal with the demands put on me as a witness and the guilt I was made to feel for becoming such a substandard member. To cut my stress, in addition to almost zero meeting attendance, I sold my business. After that I did some traveling and soul searching, but just kept drifting away. Took a summer job in Alaska which led me to my now permanent job up here. Alaska saved me. The hardest part however has been knowing no one when arriving and only recently finding sites like this to help me with my constantly wavering mindset. Just part of the process of making a new life from what I've seen and heard. Like many others I'm sure, I have lots of stories. Horrible ones at that which have stuck in my mind, but were tucked away til recently. So that's the jist of my experience and exit. I'm hoping to meet in person others like me here in Alaska, but it's a big place with fewer people so we'll see.