That summary encompasses all the feelings and emotion one goes thru when deciding to become a witness. It's only later, many years later, that the mind starts to clear and the brain starts putting the puzzle pieces together and then you start looking, then questioning, then once again, the emotions take over and you find yourself in such a quandry as to what you will do, you know you should get out, but what if... your alone now, your mate has died, your children are in, your health is not good and you will need the help that some will give within the congregation? Where do you go? Who is your friend in the world now? They are gone, long gone... government agencies?? home health care?? strangers who do not know or care for you?? At that point, you are no further ahead, now that your life is gone.. so you live a lie, your smile is pasted on, your ok, fine, nothing wrong here..... yet questioning, is this the right belief system? IS it based on spiristic foundations? What does God/Jehovah really think of me if I have misgivings and don't leave...
The buzz words, cognitive dissonance, I can't relate too - I fully know what is going on with the society, the mind boggling twisting of the truth of God's words, yet I stay..... mainly because of the above
I do want to have a peaceful, spiritual life but am I achieving it now? No - cause deep inside, I know - I know
