Lilacs,
Since, you asked our opinions...Your right everyone isn't 'selfish' all the time. If you find that you are drawn to this type of man, maybe you should try to find out why. Start to explore why you have been drawn into non-nurturing relationships. You can't change other people but, you can change how you react to others. And learn how to read people before you get to involved.
The only person you can change is you.
And Lilacs getting drunk every night to torment Naebs with your.....uhum.....powers. Isn't a step toward developing nurturing relationships in your life.
Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.