Reading your words of courage under such stressful circumstances really brought tears to my eyes. I don't think anyone who hasn't had to share in depth their worst time of their lives could quite understand the strength it takes. I really hope you feel proud for doing all you can to help others and expose this religion for what it is.
I hope now you can take time to regroup however it is that brings you some peace of mind. I don't know you, but I wish I could give you a big hug and let you know I know a little of what you are going through and I applaud your courage.