Superb post MicaSmith. Welcome.
You express yourself very cogently and what you have written chimes exactly with my beliefs about many JW's and the Governing Body. "Whitewashed graves" comes to mind.
From your description your mother was/is a wicked self serving abuser. Look up Eunice Spry a jw from England who manipulated others and was even allowed to be a foster parent, so skilled was her manipulation, to see how this type of person behaves.
Keep the toxic ones out of your life, even (especially) blood related ones!