Posts by JRK

4

Be Friendly

by JRK in

jw
friends

friendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive.

think about a time when someone was friendly to you - maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room.

how did that make you feel?

JRK

Be friendly.

Why?

Friendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive.

Think about a time when someone was friendly to you - maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room. How did that make you feel? Probably more included, comfortable, and at ease; safer; more open and warm-hearted. When you are friendly to others, you offer them these same benefits. Plus you get rewarded yourself. Being friendly feels confident and happy, with a positive take on other people, moving toward the world instead of backing away from it. And it encourages others to be less guarded or reactive with you, since you're answering the ancient question from millions of years of evolution - friend or foe? - with an open hand and heart. In its own quiet way, ordinary friendliness takes a stand that is almost subversive these days: that the world has many more opportunities than threats, that most people want the best for others, that simple informal human connections tie this battered old planet together much more than jumbo corporations or mass media flickering on the walls of our upholstered caves.

How?

You can be friendly with intimates and strangers, co-workers and in-laws, babies and bosses - even those you know only in the abstract, like people on the other side of the world. Of course, it is not always appropriate to be friendly with someone, such as to an adversary, or to someone who would misunderstand you. But opportunities for greater friendliness are probably all around you this week.

To warm up your brain's circuits of friendliness, you could try one or more of these: · Recall being with someone who cares about you. · Remember when someone was friendly to you. · Bring to mind a time when you were friendly to someone. · Get a sense of the posture, movements, gestures, and facial expressions of a person you know who is naturally friendly. · Relax your body into a feeling of friendliness: leaning forward a little, rather than back; softening and opening your chest, face, and eyes; breathing goodwill in and out. Then look for everyday opportunities to be friendly. Often you'll just give a smile, handshake, or nod - and that's plenty. Maybe it's offering a few minutes to talk. Or a morning hug, or goodnight kiss. Or an extra touch of warmth in an email. Stretch yourself, but stay within the range of whatever is authentic. Remember that friendliness is not agreement or approval; it does not mean you have given up on whatever your stances may be in the relationship. Friendliness does not equal friendship; in truth, most relationships are with friendly acquaintances. Consider your family and friends. What about being more friendly with your lover or mate? Having worked with couples for many years, it's painful to see how often basic friendliness is a casualty in a long-term relationship. Or being more friendly toward parents, siblings - or your own children? Again, it's startling how easily friendliness can be crowded out of our most important relationships by busyness, little irritations and hurts, or weariness from working too hard. But bits of friendliness, sprinkled here and there, can be absolutely transformational in a relationship. Try it and see! Also consider being friendlier toward people you might normally ignore or treat with distance, even coolness. Such as wait staff in restaurants, someone shuttling you to the airport, or - breaking the big taboo - strangers in an elevator. See what happens. Take in the rewards, like one small log after another, fueling that warm glowing fire on the hearth in your heart.

86

Christian Atheists, why did you throw the baby out with the bath water?

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

"i contend that we are both atheists.

i just believe in one fewer god than you do.

when you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why i dismiss yours.

JRK

My God is Wank Wank, and that is all he does.

Throw him out, he stinks like the bathwater!

JK

74

Goodbye, everyone.

by Chemical Emotions in

jw
friends

some of you were really nice.

some of you were really mean to me, and at this point in my life i can't handle such meanness.

i thought this would be my one place to truly express my feelings without too much mocking or insults from people who i thought were nicer, but i was wrong.

JRK

CE,

F the F'ing F'ers.

It is cool.

JK

35

Your advice please on "Scriptual Divorce"

by karter in

jw
friends

my ex and i have a legal divorce.. she asked me to write a letter to the b.o.e so she can get a scriptual divorce.. she said she had spoken to the c.o.b.e ans they would take no action against me as i haven't been to a meeting in about 12 years.. my reply "ok get him to put that in writing".

so do you think they will put that in writing?.

and would they take action if i did write the letter giveing her a scriptual divorce?.

JRK

And one last thing,

They will DF you in a heartbeat if you give them a letter.

JK

35

Your advice please on "Scriptual Divorce"

by karter in

jw
friends

my ex and i have a legal divorce.. she asked me to write a letter to the b.o.e so she can get a scriptual divorce.. she said she had spoken to the c.o.b.e ans they would take no action against me as i haven't been to a meeting in about 12 years.. my reply "ok get him to put that in writing".

so do you think they will put that in writing?.

and would they take action if i did write the letter giveing her a scriptual divorce?.

JRK

And karter, you damned well know she has committed the nasty in 12 years, she is just looking for a clean way out.

JK

35

Your advice please on "Scriptual Divorce"

by karter in

jw
friends

my ex and i have a legal divorce.. she asked me to write a letter to the b.o.e so she can get a scriptual divorce.. she said she had spoken to the c.o.b.e ans they would take no action against me as i haven't been to a meeting in about 12 years.. my reply "ok get him to put that in writing".

so do you think they will put that in writing?.

and would they take action if i did write the letter giveing her a scriptual divorce?.

JRK

Hey karter,

It depends on what you want. If you "did the deed" and want to let her off the hook, send them their f'ing letter. If she is a bitch and you want to fuck her over for eternity, don't.

Do you give a shit about being shunned? Don't do it. If you could care less, give her what she wants.

It really doesn't matter to you now, go with your gut. Just give them a signed letter if you choose to, and tell them to F off if they want to meet you.

JK

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