no problem outnfree.............TC had a great sense of humour without getting offensive
ISP
Posts by ISP
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13UK Humour....Tommy Cooper Classics
by ISP intwo aerials meet on a roof.
they fall in love and get married.. the ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.. --------------------------------------------------------------------.
man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.. doctor says, "i'll give you some cream to put on it.".
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15
Sex Offender in my neighborhood
by Princess inwe just got a notice in the mail today that a level 2 sex offender is living in our neighborhood.
they didn't give an address, just cross streets.
he lives two blocks from us which is directly next door to the elementary school my kids will go to in september.
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ISP
I dont think they give pictures out. So its not easy to know much more.
ISP
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37
Posters That Seem To Have Vanished Off The Face Of The Earth...?
by SpannerintheWorks inthere are some posters that, for no apparent reason, seem to have disappeared recently.
these do not seem to be the subject of "verbal" abuse or self-resignation, but they just, well...vanished!
and they all were very active prior to their spontaneous combustion.. those who come to mind are:.
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ISP
I think some posters have simply died. It happens I guess.
ISP
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13
UK Humour....Tommy Cooper Classics
by ISP intwo aerials meet on a roof.
they fall in love and get married.. the ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.. --------------------------------------------------------------------.
man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.. doctor says, "i'll give you some cream to put on it.".
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ISP
Mark, that guy still did his magic.
He actually did a show at my JW wedding!
ISP
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13
UK Humour....Tommy Cooper Classics
by ISP intwo aerials meet on a roof.
they fall in love and get married.. the ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.. --------------------------------------------------------------------.
man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.. doctor says, "i'll give you some cream to put on it.".
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ISP
Two Aerials meet on a roof. They fall in love and get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
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Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doctor says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
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"Doctor, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well - It's not unusual."
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A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What - because he's cross-eyed? "
"No - because he's really heavy."
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Guy goes into the doctor's.
"Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside."
"How's that?"
"Don't you start"
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"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's."
"Well you can't say fairer than that then"
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
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So I went to the dentist.
He said "Say Aaah."
I said "Why?"
He said "My dog's died."
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A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer." he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "No charge."
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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?'
The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive... '
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"So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said, 'Is that the local swimming
baths?'
He said, "It depends where you're calling from."
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"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my
house.'
He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger
brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
I think it's Colin.
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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a
lift?"
I said "Sure - you look great, the world's your oyster. Go for it."
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Two cannibals eating a clown.
One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the
other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
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"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen, it said, 'Parking Fine.'
So that was nice."
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A man walked into the doctors. The doctor said, " I haven't seen you in a
long time."
The man replied, "I know - I've been ill."
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A man walked into the doctors. He said, "I've hurt my arm in several
places."
The doctor said "Well don't go there any more."
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I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
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You know those Mange-tout? They're really nice but I couldn't eat whole
one.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
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3
How many here have been abandoned by the WTS?
by ISP insounds a strange thing to ask, but it does occur.
i don't think simon will mind if i mentioned his situation.
simon was da'd by the wts.
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ISP
Sounds a strange thing to ask, but it does occur. I don't think Simon will mind if I mentioned his situation. Simon was DA'd by the WTS. His wife is still a publisher. No one has called on her to see if she wants to go to meetings etc. She doesn't but they have simply ignored her and if she felt any pangs of WTS sympathy they dissapated a long time ago. Ang., also has been ignored by JWs at the shops and at school etc.
Dansk's wife and ex-pioneer son is another example. They have assumed because he has decided not to attend anymore that they do also and there is no point trying to help them. Sounds like they prefer to make no effort or attempt.
Any thoughts?
ISP
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11
Brain Teaser from A JW site......have fun....
by ISP ini once made a remark about the hidden books of the bible.
it was a lulu; kept people looking so hard for facts ... and for others it was a revelation.
some were in a jam, especially since the names of the books were not capitalized.
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ISP
How many of the sixteen Bible books hidden in the paragraph below can YOU find? I once made a remark about the hidden books of the Bible. It was a lulu; kept people looking so hard for facts ... and for others it was a revelation. Some were in a jam, especially since the names of the books were not capitalized. But the truth finally struck home to numbers of our readers. To others it was a real job. We want it to be a most fascinating few moments for you. Yes, there will be some really easy ones to spot. Others may require judges to help them. I will quickly admit it usually takes a minister to find one of them, and there will be loud lamentations when it is found. A little lady says she brews a cup of tea so she can concentrate better. See how well you can compete. Relax now, for there really are sixteen names of books of the Bible in this paragraph.
ISP
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19
Did You Like The Iraqi Minister 4 'Information'!?
by ISP ini thought he was a real character!
he may have killed himself but i was hoping that he survived.
i don't think he is on the us card deck.
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ISP
"When we were making the law, when we were writing the literature and the mathematics the grandfathers of Blair and little Bush were scratching around in caves"
"Those Iraqi fighters are slapping those gangsters on the face, and then when they flee, they will kick their backsides."
About Bush: "the leader of the international criminal gang of bastards."
"the insane little dwarf Bush"
"The midget Bush and that Rumsfield deserve only to be beaten with shoes by freedom loving people everywhere."
"Rumsfeld, he needs to be hit on the head"
"Bush is a very stupid man. The American people are not stupid, they are very clever. I can't understand how such clever people came to elect such a stupid president."
"Who is this dog Franks in Qatar?"
Some Ad Hominems from Mr MSS!
ISP
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19
Did You Like The Iraqi Minister 4 'Information'!?
by ISP ini thought he was a real character!
he may have killed himself but i was hoping that he survived.
i don't think he is on the us card deck.
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ISP
I thought he was a real character! He may have killed himself but I was hoping that he survived. I don't think he is on the US card deck. What did you make of the guy?
ISP
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2
UK Forces joined in murdering Catholics in '80s
by ISP insaturday april 19, 01:48 pm
security forces linked to n.ireland killings: police chief
click to enlarge photo
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ISP
Saturday April 19, 01:48 PM
Security forces linked to N.Ireland killings: police chief
BELFAST (AFP) - A branch of army intelligence and some police officers in Northern Ireland actively helped a Protestant paramilitary group to murder Catholics in the late 1980s, a report by the top police chief has confirmed.The report on Thursday by Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir John Stevens centred on the murder of high-profile Catholic lawyer Pat Finucane in 1989 by the Ulster Defence Association (UDA), Northern Ireland's main Protestant paramilitary group.Click to enlarge photo Click to enlarge photo It also examined the killing of Protestant student Brian Adam Lambert, shot by Protestant paramilitaries in November 1987 after they apparently mistook him for being a Catholic."I have uncovered enough evidence to lead me to believe that the murders of Pat Finucane and Brian Adam Lambert could have been prevented," Stevens told a Belfast press conference.
"I conclude there was collusion in both murders and the circumstances surrounding them," Stevens said, adding that collusion ranged "from the wilful failure to keep records, the absence of accountablity, the witholding of intelligence and evidence, through to the extreme of agents being involved in murder."
He added: "The unlawful involvement of agents in murder implies the security forces sanction killings."
Stevens said the Northern Ireland police force's investigation into Finucane's murder should have resulted in the early detection and arrest of his killers.
His report made 21 recommendations in a bid to safeguard future intelligence operations, including a call for the police service of Northern Ireland to carry out a full review of all procedures for investigating terrorist offences.
The Stevens report, described as the biggest criminal inquiry in British history, also found that military intelligence in Northern Ireland actually prolonged the conflict.
The report suggests one branch of military intelligence was out of control and its activities were disastrous.
Finucane was shot dead at his Belfast home in February 1989 by a gunman belonging to the UDA who was also working as a Special Branch police informant at the time.
The man who supplied one of the weapons tipped off military intelligence that a killing was to be carried out, but nothing was done to prevent it. He was later charged with the murder, but gunned down by former associates who wanted him silenced.
Stevens' report, which followed a four-year inquiry, had been widely leaked ahead of its publication Thursday.
Finucane's son called it "an embodiment of broken promises and dishonoured commitments."
"The policy in Northern Ireland was -- and may yet be -- to harness the killing potential of loyalist (Protestant) paramilitaries, to increase that potential through additional resources in the shape of weapons and information and to direct those resources against selected targets so that the government could be rid of its enemies," he said.
"Simple policy. Simple operation. Simply chilling," he added.
Finucane's widow Geraldine told BBC television there should be a full public judicial inquiry "where this is brought out into the open, where everybody can lay their ghosts to rest and then society can move forward."