this is the final of my series of podcasts in which the 3 circuit overseers decide my fate as a jehovah's witness.. my blog- deathorobedience.blogspot.com.
podcast 12 the final verdict- play the audio.
also available free on itunes (just search on itunes).. .
Matt,
You rock the box!! And I agree with Stonewall, that scripture in 1st Corinthians chap 4 is dynamite - particularly verse 5.
How can any JW think that judicial committees and disfellowshipping are for true Christians - didn't Jesus say not to judge? Those elders sound so smug - where was their compassion and love?
I hope I am as courageous and dignified as Matt when my time comes.
sacdfan
i know some posters here went through or are going through some painful things right now because of no longer believing when they have a husband / wife that still does.
others were able to free the minds of their spouse.
i'm assuming the latter is a lot more rare.. anyone that wishes to share their story, please do.. i'm looking to pass the info on to someone who doesn't totally believe, but may marry a jw.
jaguarbass - you say your wife envied you when you left the WTS. What if she didn't envy you? What if she pitied you? What if she put pressure on you every day to 'come back to Jehovah'? What if every week she asked 'Are you coming to the meetings or what?' and this pressure went on day in, day out, year in, year out. What if she was totally and absolutely convinced she had 'the truth' and you were going to die at the big A if she didn't 'win you back'?What if she never left, not ever?
If one half of the marriage leaves the WTS and the other one limps along reluctantly, wishing they could leave too, that's fine and they may eventually come out. If one half leaves the WTS but the other half is utterly brainwashed - so brainwashed that they eat, sleep, live and breathe WT teachings, it is very difficult for the one on the outside, especially if most of their friends are JWs. If you can see someone you love being manipulated and used by a mind-controlling organisation, it isn't easy to leave them. But it isn't easy to stay either - it's a sort of horrible, foggy limbo.
Never get involved with a JW unless you are willing to become a totally commited JW too - that's my advice to anyone contemplating marriage to a JW if they want to stay sane!
i know some posters here went through or are going through some painful things right now because of no longer believing when they have a husband / wife that still does.
others were able to free the minds of their spouse.
i'm assuming the latter is a lot more rare.. anyone that wishes to share their story, please do.. i'm looking to pass the info on to someone who doesn't totally believe, but may marry a jw.
Going back to the original poster, I would tell your friend NEVER to get involved with a JW, or someone who is intent on becoming a JW. JWs should only ever marry fellow JWs - mixed marriages DO NOT WORK. You may hear about some couples who can stay together with one in and one out, but it still puts tremendous strain on the marriage. Think about it. For the non-JW, they can't really have their 'worldly' friends over and they aren't really welcome at the homes of their JW partner's friends - that's assuming they even get an invite. I don't. My husband gets invited to JW get-togethers but, even though I am not disfellowshipped or disassociated, I rarely get an invite - how rude is that?
Then there are 'worldly' celebrations - I may get to the stage where I want to put a Xmas tree up, celebrate my birthday, go to a friend's birthday party - but I can't.
And if children come on the scene, you are well and truly up the creek!
It's sooooooo difficult being married to a devoted JW - and even if you really love them, you can't share important things. Being a JW is so demanding - it takes up all his time so my husband has very little time left for me- I come second after the organisation and I hate it.
someone on the 'mill hill disfellowshippings' thread suggested we make a new thread for the genesis prog and, being the obedient little soul that i am, i have done just that!.
i have just watched the repeat on genesis this afternoon.
i had just been to a meeting (just to keep up appearances) and i feigned extreme tiredness to wriggle out of going on the ministry so i could come home to watch it.. it was very interesting - i could identify with much of what dave said.
Depending on where you live, you can watch it on satellite TV - in the UK and Ireland you can see it on Sky, Chorus, cable TV or whatever - it's a free channel so you can watch it on Freeview in the UK.
Failing that, put 'Genesis TV' into Google and on the right of the home page is a button to watch either Genesis or its sister channel Revelation live.
i know some posters here went through or are going through some painful things right now because of no longer believing when they have a husband / wife that still does.
others were able to free the minds of their spouse.
i'm assuming the latter is a lot more rare.. anyone that wishes to share their story, please do.. i'm looking to pass the info on to someone who doesn't totally believe, but may marry a jw.
You and me both, Tiffy. Maybe we should start a club!
i know some posters here went through or are going through some painful things right now because of no longer believing when they have a husband / wife that still does.
others were able to free the minds of their spouse.
i'm assuming the latter is a lot more rare.. anyone that wishes to share their story, please do.. i'm looking to pass the info on to someone who doesn't totally believe, but may marry a jw.
Mine is going slooooooooowly down the pan!!
someone on the 'mill hill disfellowshippings' thread suggested we make a new thread for the genesis prog and, being the obedient little soul that i am, i have done just that!.
i have just watched the repeat on genesis this afternoon.
i had just been to a meeting (just to keep up appearances) and i feigned extreme tiredness to wriggle out of going on the ministry so i could come home to watch it.. it was very interesting - i could identify with much of what dave said.
Hi Jamie - I think you're on to something there - I do associate the Bible with the control of the WTS and it is really offputting - I hope I can overcome it because I would love to know what the Bible really does say.
TE - I agree - the programme was really good - plus it was interesting when they made the comment that people from other churches or organisations, when trying to help ex-JWs, don't really know where they are coming from because it takes an ex-JW to understand an ex-JW. People who haven't been in a mind-controlling cult don't know how it feels to have every move controlled - to have someone control what you read or watch, who you speak to, what career you choose, who your friends are etc. And they certainly don't know what it's like to try to escape, or to be cut off from friends and family because you can no longer go on with the charade.
The only thing that keeps me 'in' is my family and friends.
someone on the 'mill hill disfellowshippings' thread suggested we make a new thread for the genesis prog and, being the obedient little soul that i am, i have done just that!.
i have just watched the repeat on genesis this afternoon.
i had just been to a meeting (just to keep up appearances) and i feigned extreme tiredness to wriggle out of going on the ministry so i could come home to watch it.. it was very interesting - i could identify with much of what dave said.
Someone on the 'Mill Hill Disfellowshippings' thread suggested we make a new thread for the Genesis prog and, being the obedient little soul that I am, I have done just that!
I have just watched the repeat on Genesis this afternoon. I had just been to a meeting (just to keep up appearances) and I feigned extreme tiredness to wriggle out of going on the ministry so I could come home to watch it.
It was very interesting - I could identify with much of what Dave said. I was really moved when he said the Bible is for all of us and not just for the 144,000. I have had so much garbage rammed into my poor brain over the years - even though I hate this religion, I have always believed that the Bible isn't really understandable unless you happen to be annointed - stupid really!
To be honest, I have a bit of a problem with the Bible. I find it really hard to pick it up, let alone read it. It gives me the creeps and when I pick it up to try to read it, I shudder and put it down again. Not good for a JW! Maybe I am going mad! Help!
a few months ago there was a thread about a couple of elders at the mill hill bethel being disfellowshipped because they disagreed with some wt doctrine (i can't recall exactly what it was) and that several other betheliteswere under 'investigation'.
i haven't heard anything since, does anyone know anything more about this?.
borghater xx.
Hi Dave,
I too watched the whole 2 hours on youtube after seeing it posted on here - really excellent. I really admire people like you and Peter who have the guts to go public. I'm a bit of a coward. I still have many close family members trapped in the borg, and I still attend occasional meetings just to keep the lines of communication going, hoping one day I'll be able to reason with them. It breaks my heart that so many intelligent, good people are so controlled by an organisation. Keep up the good work - maybe one day I'll feel brave enough to come on here using my real name.
sacdfan
hello - can i ask you all for your opinions?.
if your partner (husband/wife, gf/bf etc) was phoning and texting someone approx 20 times per day,would you find it unacceptable?
for example, if your wife was texting/phoning another brother (also married) 20 to 30 times a day, would you get suspicious?
Thanks for all the replies - I definitely think there is something going on. Plus, in my congregation, I remember the brothers weren't allowed to be alone regularly with sisters either. But I think my sister's congregation is different - her husband (pioneer) has been spending loads of time on the ministry with the elder's wife (also a pioneer) and nobody thinks there is anything wrong with it!
I told my sister to try to get a look at his mobile to see the content of the texts but she is too chicken - totally useless. By the time she gets around to it he will have deleted anything incriminating. It is so frustrating being so far away from her. My BIL is a totally useless plank! He is denying everything even though there is paper evidence (phone bills) that at least HE has been phoning texting 20+ times a day (sometimes less, sometimes more) for at least the last 6 months! Goodness knows how many times elderette phoned and texted him. But unless my sister takes this further, nothing will be done. Maybe I will shop him to the elders myself!
