Thanks everyone for the comments and support. A few comments on some of the posts...
Wobble – I’m not so sure my family will ever come around as they’re HARD CORE, although I’ll never give up hoping. And yes, I plan to post a lot of my research. I have a huge stack at home that I hope could be used to help others get out. And I’ll probably post the thought process I went through of finding out that the Org. isn’t what it claims to be.
Black Sheep – I’m sorry to hear about your situation… Yeah, I’m not sure what kind of mental/emotional state I’d be in without them. But I’m a survivor, I’d probably be OK in the long run, but I sure am glad they’re there.
Oompa – I wouldn’t describe it as guts as much as I felt I didn’t have a choice. Something in my brain forced me to go all or nothing. I had to completely fake it or get out for good. I couldn’t stomach the former so I chose the latter.
And the loss? I went through a period where I was in a state of panic and emotional turmoil all-day-every-day for about a month. I’d be ok one minute and then crash into depression the next. The pain and panic slowly eased, and I guess I’ve just reached a kind of peaceful acceptance. My rational mind got me through it. I just kept reminding myself, “Yeah this sucks but what can you do about it? Are you gonna go back in and pretend to believe? You’ll be more miserable than you are now because YOU KNOW it’s not the truth! Buck up and get on with your life!” I’ve always been pretty good about not stressing over things that are beyond my control (NOT a typical JW trait). I have my father to thank for that. I think about my family all the time but I’m not depressed about it anymore. I’ve kept myself busy, I try to make new friends (not easy for me believe it or not), I’m busy in my work and school, I exercise a lot (great stress reliever), and I explore hobbies that weren’t available while I was in (I love Muay Thai and MMA training).
Awildflower – Calender??? What’s that?
Sweet Pea – Thanks and yeah, let me know if there’s ever an ex-jw get together or something in my area. I’d love to meet a few more fellow ex-JWs.
Bluecanary – Ummmm… thanks? Lol
Quandry – Actually I started going back to school while I was in, and it was a class on Expository Composition and constructing a logical argument that got the ball rolling on my exit (see they’re right… college is bad… for the cult any way. Anything that gets people thinking). I realized no one who writes for the WT has ever taken that or a similar class. They break all the rules of a rational debate. They can get away with it (sort of) because the members are sufficiently controlled to the point where they only get to hear one side. I remember one section in the textbook (I loved that book) that had a list of logical fallacies to avoid when constructing a convincing argument. It read like a generic outline for damn near everything I’ve ever read from the “F&DS”. Blew my mind.
Happyexjw – Yeah, I kick myself because I’m like, “I’m almost 30! What took me so long to figure it out?!?!” But then I realize that such thinking is pointless, because I could’ve been 40, or 50, or 60. I need to just be thankful I figured it out when I did. I just need to move on, and be happy.
Palmtree67 – I’m sorry… it breaks my heart when I think about how difficult my exit was, and how some people had/have it much much worse than I. I don’t believe the Organization to be inherently or intentionally evil, but it is evil for the simple reason that it is so adept at destroying lives and families. I know for a fact that the “tears of grief” that have resulted from association with this organization far outnumber the “tears of joy” that it claims to inspire.
H4O – Good to see you too! I really valued your input back while I was still trapped. Thanks.
