Posts by marysue123

11

Does my friend need help leaving JW?

by marysue123 in

i am not sure if i should be writing this but i'll give it a try because i could use some advice from people who know better this religion.. about 6-7 years ago, when i was in highschool, a new classmate arrived and she was jehovah's witness.

untill that time i had very few knowledge about these people.

she was a kind girl but she wouldn't hang out with us a lot.

marysue123

Thank you all for your interest.

Although I am not a religious person, I trully respect everybody's faith. I wouldn't try to change her mind about her religion even though I disagree with it.

But, I don't believe that, in her case, it is a matter of faith. I have read a lot of stories from ex-JW and most of them describe how they started having doubts about their religion when they descovered the inaccuracies that they were taught. I dare to say that my friend had never really believed all that staff (I admire her for that since she was raised by a very "faithfull" family). But she is socially and emotionally attached to JWs.

She is an intelligent young woman. And it broke my heart listening to her descirbing how her days are empty, boring and unfullfilling. She is married to a man that doesn't stop parroting their teachings and has no other interest than that. The same goes for the rest of her family. If I were her I would have gotten insane.

Of course she doesn't need facebook to contact me. She has my email, phone number and even knows where I live. She already knows that I am here to support her. I will not try to contact her again because I am afraid to causing her trouble. Leaving from there would be such a huge change in her a life that she could only handle it if she is sure about it. For that reason I don't want to push her. I am afraid of making things worse.

11

Does my friend need help leaving JW?

by marysue123 in

i am not sure if i should be writing this but i'll give it a try because i could use some advice from people who know better this religion.. about 6-7 years ago, when i was in highschool, a new classmate arrived and she was jehovah's witness.

untill that time i had very few knowledge about these people.

she was a kind girl but she wouldn't hang out with us a lot.

marysue123

Thank you a lot for your answers!

I know you are right. I would not try to contact her any more as I am afraid that this could ger her into trouble.

What pisses me off is that she is such a bright person and she could accomplish all her dreams if she only had a chance. She is only 23, having no kids yet, so this would be the perfect chance to start over her life.

In addition, this has nothing to do with faith and religion. She never told me anything in the spirit of "This is how God wants me to live" or whatever. Our conversation was all about controlling relatives etc.

I can't do anything, I will just wait and see. Maybe I will try to find ex-JW in our country who could help her in case that she contacts me again.

Thank you all again

11

Does my friend need help leaving JW?

by marysue123 in

i am not sure if i should be writing this but i'll give it a try because i could use some advice from people who know better this religion.. about 6-7 years ago, when i was in highschool, a new classmate arrived and she was jehovah's witness.

untill that time i had very few knowledge about these people.

she was a kind girl but she wouldn't hang out with us a lot.

marysue123

Hello everybody!

I am not sure if I should be writing this but I'll give it a try because I could use some advice from people who know better this religion.

About 6-7 years ago, when I was in highschool, a new classmate arrived and she was Jehovah's witness. Untill that time I had very few knowledge about these people. She was a kind girl but she wouldn't hang out with us a lot. I have learnt from her former classmates at her previous school that her parents were very strict and that they made her change school because she had a relationship with a boy there. Anyway, soon after she came to us we learnt that she was engaged to another JW. She has even showed us photos from the engangement etc. We were all very young so I couldn't understand how it could be possible for a girl to be happy with such a situation. While we were talking about colleges and entry exams she would leave hints that she was looking for wedding dresses etc. I have never talked about it but I had always the impression that she was trying to convience herself more than us that she was happy about this marriage. The time passed, we finished school and she got married while I left for college.

I hadn't heard from her for years when I came through her at facebook. We started talking and we arranged to meet for a coffee. There I learned that she wasn't very happy with her life. She told me that she was browsing through our former classmates' facebook profiles and she was kind of jealous that we had all enjoyed our college years studying, travelling, having fun etc. Her husbund was not abusing or something like that but he was conservative and very faithfull to their doctrines. I knew that she was a very good student when we were at school but the last year she had really abandoned everything.

It was that time that I made a little research about JWs and I realised the reasons of this situation. Personally, I am completely opposed to such doctrines but since I knew that this religion had been her whole life I didn't encourage her to abandon it without thinking. I encouraged her to talk about it with her family and husband and I learnt that this could be quiet dangerous for her. She told me that if she would leave the religion she would loose her family, husband, friends and everything. In addition, she was working at her father's business and, having no college degree, she would be in a very tough situation. She was feeling trapped.

Then, all of a sudden, I lost her. She defriended me from facebook along with all our mutual friends. I don't know what to do. I tried to call her once but she wouldn't answer. I know it is her life and all I want for her is to be happy. But is it possible that if someone learnt about her contacting me she would be in trouble? I see that there are many ex-members among you. So is it something that you would have liked a friend to do for you when you were considering about leaving?

I would appreciate any opinion.

Mary

P.S I appologise for any grammatical mistakes. I am not a native speaker in English