Hi. I'm sd-7. Welcome! Not that I live here or anything...
It seems like you have had quite a tough time in the congregation, to say the least. It's another testimony that sincere people like yourself are deeply troubled by things they have experienced inside the organization. It's reassuring in its own way that we're not all collectively losing our minds and are by no means alone.
You seem like a good woman, a good wife and a good Christian. Not that I have any way of really knowing that, but let's not get distracted here. I don't really know if you can convince your husband of anything. It's usually safe to assume that on your own, there's a high probability of him simply turning you in for having doubts and it totally creating a wedge between you and him. But it sounds like you have a good enough marriage that there's more potential for hope than I am accustomed to seeing.
Best thing I can tell you is to be patient, trust yourself--your feelings are telling you something is wrong for a good reason. Confusion is natural at the beginning. But a good mystery isn't solved overnight. Continue to gather evidence and be as honest with yourself as possible. Question, double-check, and triple-check whatever you find. The answers are probably closer than you think. Heck, the Bible itself provides some pretty good clues if you pay attention and read it on its own.
Enough horrible things have happened to you already, so anything you learn now probably pales in comparison, but it will be hard to learn what's really going on. Finding someone you can talk to openly about these issues is critical to your emotional well-being. I'm sure there are plenty of people here who would be glad to listen and offer support.
Once you understand fully what's been done to you for most of your life, you can begin the healing process. You've got a lot of reading ahead of you. Steve Hassan's books might help. "Freedom of Mind", his most recent work, is a good place to start.
I hope you will find your way and be able to open your husband's eyes, too.
--sd-7