Posts by sd-7

33

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-09-2013 WT Study (READ BIBLE)

by blondie in

jw
friends

comments you will not hear at the 06-09-2013 wt study (april 15, 2013, pages 7-11)(read bible).

4. what does it mean to read the bible in an undertone?.

1:6) how, then, are we to understand jesus words about this generation?

sd-7

16 Jews in the Macedonian city of Beroea

had the custom of “carefully examining

the Scriptures daily.” ["...to make sure these things were so."

Not just for the hell of it, but to confirm that nobody

was shoveling a load of sh-- at 'em. That

may not have turned out so well.] When Paul

preached the good news to those Jews [especially the prophecy

about 1914, oh, right, God didn't revealed that to him,

but everything else was totally in line with current

Watchtower teachings],

they compared his words with their

knowledge of the Scriptures [which may have been lacking,

since quite a few Old Testament prophecies about Jesus

were taken out of context, but hey, it's cool. Holy spirit

obviously enlightened the apostles to give those words a

higher meaning]. The result?

Many were convinced that he was teaching

the truth [as is taught today in the pages of

the Watchtower], and they “became believers [Jehovah's Witnesses].”

(Acts 17:10-12) This shows that daily

reading of the Bible promotes strong

faith in Jehovah [and/or the Watchtower]. Such faith, “the assured

expectation of things hoped for [a belief in something promised

to you by people who have routinely failed to deliver on promises for the

past century, or indeed, the past two millennia],” is vital

if we are [not to be slaughtered at Armageddon by a guy who has a

sword sticking out of his f***ing mouth and a bloody white robe] to survive into God’s new

world.—Heb. 11:1.

33

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-09-2013 WT Study (READ BIBLE)

by blondie in

jw
friends

comments you will not hear at the 06-09-2013 wt study (april 15, 2013, pages 7-11)(read bible).

4. what does it mean to read the bible in an undertone?.

1:6) how, then, are we to understand jesus words about this generation?

sd-7

15 Like King Solomon, pray to Jehovah

for wisdom in carrying out theocratic

responsibilities [but don't expect to be rewarded

with his level of wisdom, or his incredible wealth,

or to be up to your eyeballs in hot, exotic women]. (2 Chron. 1:7-10) As

did the prophets of old, make “a diligent

inquiry and a careful search” of God’s

Word for accurate knowledge of Jehovah

and his will [using the Watchtower Library,

which is your only shot at accurate knowledge]. (1 Pet. 1:10-12) The apostle

Paul encouraged Timothy to nourish

himself “with the words of the faith [Watchtower scrolls, no doubt] and

of the fine teaching [of the governing body].” (1 Tim. 4:6) By your

doing so, you will be in an excellent position

to help others spiritually [to obey the Watchtower]. At the

same time, you will build up your own

faith [in the Watchtower, thus reducing or, we hope,

eliminating the massive amounts of cognitive dissonance

you may or may not be experiencing. No, don't look it up,

please. You can't even pronounce it, it's beyond you, just

forget I said it, in fact I'll cross it out now].

33

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-09-2013 WT Study (READ BIBLE)

by blondie in

jw
friends

comments you will not hear at the 06-09-2013 wt study (april 15, 2013, pages 7-11)(read bible).

4. what does it mean to read the bible in an undertone?.

1:6) how, then, are we to understand jesus words about this generation?

sd-7

14 Clearly, the Bible [and the Watchtower] contains many

words that can encourage [beat], correct [maim], or

strengthen [break entirely] its readers. But you may ask,

‘How can I have scriptures at the ready

when I need them?’ [Wow, u must be dum to azk dat qweschun. Dum az nailz.

U culd reed de Biblez and haz it at yur handz awl de tyme.] Read the Bible and

meditate on God’s thoughts daily [especially in the form of Watchtower books,

which are as close to God's thoughts as you'll ever get]. In that

way, you will build a reserve of divine expressions

that Jehovah’s spirit can help

you recall when you need them [because apparently,

holy spirit results in an improved memory, it's not just that

you actually read the Bible a lot, which in itself, like any

actual reading/memorization routine, would

enable even an atheist to remember where Bible verses are located.

Hmm. Is it possible holy spirit has nothing to do with your

ability to remember scriptures? It could be that your mind

remembers things after being exposed to them over and over.

Wow. Son of a b----. Who knew?].—Mark

13:11; read John 14:26.*

33

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-09-2013 WT Study (READ BIBLE)

by blondie in

jw
friends

comments you will not hear at the 06-09-2013 wt study (april 15, 2013, pages 7-11)(read bible).

4. what does it mean to read the bible in an undertone?.

1:6) how, then, are we to understand jesus words about this generation?

sd-7

13 Regarding true worship and false [being one of Jehovah's

Witnesses or not],

many Israelites [Jehovah's Witnesses] in Elijah’s day were sitting

on the fence [metaphor, you do know what a metaphor

is, right? They weren't literally sitting on a fence. Well,

some of them may have done that at some point, if they had

fences to sit on, but mostly,

metaphor]. Elijah’s counsel to

those people could help an indecisive

Bible student who [might be concerned he is being recruited

into a cult, or that he has to give up violent video games, weed, or

his really hot girlfriend of three years who you see every

so often walking through the house in a pink tank top and sweatpants]

is holding back

from making spiritual progress [joining the cult officially]. (Read

1 Kings 18:21.) Consider another situation:

If an interested person fears the

reaction of friends or family [their concern that he might be joining a cult],

you might strengthen his or her resolve to [join the cult, obey the Watchtower] worship

Jehovah by reasoning [appealing to emotion, especially fear, guilt and shame] on Isaiah 51:12,

13.—Read [you do know how to read, right? We have a pamphlet for that if not, also

the Simplified Edition of The Watchtower might help. "Who are you that you should...

forget Jehovah your Maker?" I'm guessing that counts as reasoning somehow,

although it sounds more like, if mortal man doesn't kill you, then I will, and I live

a hell of a lot longer than mortal man, so you'd better join up, or I'm putting your

a-- on the grill and turning it up to BROIL. 'Cause I loves me some human sacrifice].

33

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-09-2013 WT Study (READ BIBLE)

by blondie in

jw
friends

comments you will not hear at the 06-09-2013 wt study (april 15, 2013, pages 7-11)(read bible).

4. what does it mean to read the bible in an undertone?.

1:6) how, then, are we to understand jesus words about this generation?

sd-7

12 Like Priscilla, Aquila, and Apollos,

we can be a blessing to others [by making them better

recruiters and thus better Jehovah's Witnesses]. When

your encouragement helps an interested

person [potential recruit] overcome an obstacle to his spiritual

progress [especially if you get him to believe something that his

rational mind would otherwise have surely rejected, or if

you get him to close off his mind to any outside sources of

information], how do you feel? Or as

an elder [a--hole], how do you feel when a fellow

worshipper [Jehovah's Witness] thanks you for Scriptural

counsel [tongue-lashing] that [made him or her feel worse and

then fall in line and reprogram themselves] helped him or her through

a difficult time [the perfect time for you to rub salt in their wounds]? No doubt, using God’s

Word [the Watchtower] to help others to improve their

lives [to obey the Watchtower] is a source of satisfaction and joy [gives you

temporary relief from the pressure to do more for the Watchtower, for about 5 minutes

before you go to bed at 3 a.m. after you just saved Sister Mania from a suicide attempt

that you didn't bother to suggest she seek professional help for before or afterwards,

though you knew how depressed she was because she kept calling you to tell you].*

Notice how you might accomplish that

goal [just change the word 'might' to the word 'should'--it's

not like you're going to come up with anything on your own

as far as how to accomplish an actual goal].

33

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-09-2013 WT Study (READ BIBLE)

by blondie in

jw
friends

comments you will not hear at the 06-09-2013 wt study (april 15, 2013, pages 7-11)(read bible).

4. what does it mean to read the bible in an undertone?.

1:6) how, then, are we to understand jesus words about this generation?

sd-7

11 After preaching in Ephesus, Apollos

went to Achaia [we have to explain this because

we kinda don't want you reading too much into how

the organization did things back in the first century--it

might confuse you, what with him not

going from door to door or anything]. “When he got there,

he greatly helped those who had believed

on account of God’s undeserved

kindness; for with intensity he thoroughly

proved the Jews to be wrong

publicly, while he demonstrated by the

Scriptures that Jesus was the Christ.”

(Acts 18:27, 28) By that time, Apollos

could correctly explain the meaning of

Christian baptism [duh! It means accepting that our

dedication identifies us as one of Jehovah's Witnesses

in association with his spirit-directed organization! Aren't

you glad we know what Apollos knew?]. With his increased

understanding, he “greatly helped” new

ones to make progress in true worship [as Jehovah's Witnesses].

What can we learn from this account?

Like Apollos, we strive [in vain, without the Watchtower

or a Watchtower-trained and approved representative] to understand

what we read in the Bible. However,

when an experienced fellow believer [one of Jehovah's Witnesses

who is in good standing and has been studying the current Watchtower

literature]

suggests how we can teach more effectively,

we want to accept that help with

humility and gratitude [do exactly what he says, so far as it is

exactly what the Watchtower says]. If we do so, the

quality of our sacred service will improve [our recruitment numbers,

and in turn our cash flow, will go up].

33

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-09-2013 WT Study (READ BIBLE)

by blondie in

jw
friends

comments you will not hear at the 06-09-2013 wt study (april 15, 2013, pages 7-11)(read bible).

4. what does it mean to read the bible in an undertone?.

1:6) how, then, are we to understand jesus words about this generation?

sd-7

10 Apollos was [again,NOT Carl Weathers] a Jewish Christian

[one of Jehovah's Witnesses] who

was “well versed in the Scriptures” and

“aglow with the spirit.” The book of Acts

relates about him: “He went speaking

and teaching with correctness the things

about Jesus, but being acquainted with

only the baptism of John.” Without realizing

it, Apollos had been teaching an

out-of-date understanding of baptism [obviously

he hadn't been reading the latest Watchtower scrolls

from the little-g, little-b, governing body].

After hearing him teach in Ephesus, a

Christian [Jehovah's Witness] couple named Priscilla and

Aquila explained “the way of God more

correctly to him [to save him from a judicial

committee, 'cause if he disagreed with them in any way,

they were taking his a-- straight to the apostle Paul].” (Acts 18:24-26) How

did this benefit Apollos? [Well, he fared a lot better than Carl Weathers'

character, who sadly got beat to death by Dolph Lundgren. Although...

I guess there are worse ways to go. Did you see that 'Game of Thrones' episode

last week? Of course not, you better not have! Or I'll tell the elders! That show is demonic!]

33

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-09-2013 WT Study (READ BIBLE)

by blondie in

jw
friends

comments you will not hear at the 06-09-2013 wt study (april 15, 2013, pages 7-11)(read bible).

4. what does it mean to read the bible in an undertone?.

1:6) how, then, are we to understand jesus words about this generation?

sd-7

9 While it is important that you daily

read a portion of the Bible, you also

want to gain understanding and insight [which would be impossible without

the...see below--->].

Therefore, make good use of the [--->]

publications of Jehovah’s organization [<<---Yeah, that's it!

Watchtower books!]

to research the background of people,

places, and events you read about [rather than going

to your local library, using the Internet, or going through

any other mental effort, since we've already gathered all

possible information about everything Bible-related and put it

in our books]. Or if

you wonder how a certain Bible teaching

might affect your life [ie. whether or not it might kill you or

perhaps cause you immeasurable pain], you could ask

a congregation elder or another mature

Christian for help [to make the decision for you,

then convince you it was your idea, like you're participating in your own

Inception [cue 'Inception' soundtrack]]. To illustrate the importance

of increasing our understanding [of Watchtower teachings],

let us consider the example of one

first-century Christian [who was quite obviously one of

Jehovah's Witnesses and taught the exact same

thing you are being taught in the Watchtower right now] who strove to do

just that. His name was Apollos [I know you're thinking of

that violent boxer Carl Weathers played in that boxing movie, but just put an 's'

at the end of his name and put some 1st century clothes on

him, and that's Apollos, okay? Focus].

33

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-09-2013 WT Study (READ BIBLE)

by blondie in

jw
friends

comments you will not hear at the 06-09-2013 wt study (april 15, 2013, pages 7-11)(read bible).

4. what does it mean to read the bible in an undertone?.

1:6) how, then, are we to understand jesus words about this generation?

sd-7

8 The beneficial points just mentioned

are from Bible books that some [namely, you] may consider

difficult to understand [and indeed, impossible without the Watchtower]. As you examine

the books of Hosea, Joel, and Nahum

with a desire to learn [and accept only what the Watchtower says about it], you will want

to read other verses from them in an

undertone [though preferably not all of it in context, that might be risky, just read

a verse and then look it up on the WT Library]. Imagine how much wisdom

and comfort await you in the writings of

those prophets! [Bane: "You'll just have to imagine the comfort!"]

And what about the rest

of the Bible [proof texts]? God’s Word is like a productive

diamond mine. Work that mine

well [you filthy dogs, or no gruel for you]! Yes, read the whole Bible with the

goal of finding gems of divine guidance

and reassurance [which can only really be unearthed by reading the Watchtower

alongside it].

33

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-09-2013 WT Study (READ BIBLE)

by blondie in

jw
friends

comments you will not hear at the 06-09-2013 wt study (april 15, 2013, pages 7-11)(read bible).

4. what does it mean to read the bible in an undertone?.

1:6) how, then, are we to understand jesus words about this generation?

sd-7

7 Third, imagine a Christian [Jehovah's Witness] father

who has lost his job and worries about

the well-being of his wife [who doesn't work] and children

[who pretty much could care less about him anyway and cling to their

mother].

At Nahum 1:7, he reads in an undertone

that Jehovah “is cognizant of those seeking

refuge in him” [though not so much that he's running an employment agency]

and protects them [though not at all as individuals]

like “a stronghold in the day of distress.”

That thought consoles him [though unless he eats the page

that verse was written on, it fails to fill his belly with food]. He senses

Jehovah’s loving care [through the Force, apparently] and stops worrying

overmuch [gets a spiritual high that makes him forget the rent is due

and he has no idea how to pay it 'cause he didn't want to 'store up treasures'

on earth since this system is on its last leg, which seems like a pretty strong leg

to have held up for nearly a hundred years]. Then he reads verse 15 in

an undertone. (Read Nahum 1:15.) Our

brother sees that by preaching the good

news [recruiting people into the Watchtower] in difficult times, he demonstrates

that he, indeed, views Jehovah as his

stronghold [and hopes for someone to leave a food basket outside his house

while he's out recruiting, like in the Yearbook]. While the brother keeps on

looking for secular work [because only the 'faithful slave' can live off

the hard-earned money of others, not you], he is now also

moved to support midweek field service

activity.