greenie

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Posts by greenie

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  41

  So confused

  by greenie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i've been reading this board for a while but never posted.

  so, go easy on me!

  i have a lot of thoughts, but they're not going to be totally clear.. my story: i was dating a guy, not long, but totally fell in love with him.

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  greenie

  CL - Sorry for all the follow up, but how would you have prevented this division?
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  46

  Do mixed marriages work? What about kids?

  by greenie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm new and have posted something along these lines recently on another thread, but i'm wondering, do marriages between non-jws and jws work?

  by "work" i mean can they be loving and happy?

  and what about kids?

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  greenie

  I appreciate that Dinah, but at this point my child is going to hear that to some extent no matter what.
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  46

  Do mixed marriages work? What about kids?

  by greenie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm new and have posted something along these lines recently on another thread, but i'm wondering, do marriages between non-jws and jws work?

  by "work" i mean can they be loving and happy?

  and what about kids?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  greenie

  Thanks KnowsBetter - I don't want to jeapordize your anonymity. I guess I should be careful for us too.
• 
  41

  So confused

  by greenie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i've been reading this board for a while but never posted.

  so, go easy on me!

  i have a lot of thoughts, but they're not going to be totally clear.. my story: i was dating a guy, not long, but totally fell in love with him.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  greenie

  Thanks very much for your responses.

  Jeff - I appreciate the time you took to write yours. If it's not too painful to ask, how long was it after your brother and sil's divorce that he passed away? How did the child(ren) fair in the divorce? You say one was never a JW, but what about the other kids? How did that work?

  SON - I doubt he would read that book with me because he currently doesn't think there's a thing wrong with his organization.

  I know you all probably understand and have heard this, but he is such a good guy. I mean, he's great. I wouldn't have fallen in love with him if he wasn't. We are going to go to counselling before the marriage and if it looks like this is something that can't be worked out, I doubt we'll rush into getting married. I'm most mad at myself because I've always been VERY careful about marriage and partners, etc. having seen the effects of love gone wrong on other members of my family, but the one time I let myself get swept away...well, you already know how it's turned out. And let me say, I am so joyous to have my baby. I love the baby so much.
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  46

  Do mixed marriages work? What about kids?

  by greenie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm new and have posted something along these lines recently on another thread, but i'm wondering, do marriages between non-jws and jws work?

  by "work" i mean can they be loving and happy?

  and what about kids?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  greenie

  KnowsBetter - are you or were you a JW or are you a nonJW like me?
• 
  46

  Do mixed marriages work? What about kids?

  by greenie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm new and have posted something along these lines recently on another thread, but i'm wondering, do marriages between non-jws and jws work?

  by "work" i mean can they be loving and happy?

  and what about kids?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  greenie

  Yes, everytime I hear my child, see a toy, think of my child, I am reminded that I've done something very unfair that my child didn't ask for, and it seems like no matter what I do, my child will have some additional stress (it could be great or small) in life that other children with more thoughtful, patient parents won't have. It absolutely kills me and I can't believe myself and that I've put my sweet innocent baby in this position. However, we both love our baby very, very much and I am positive we both want what's best for her. That might be being together if it can work out in a fair, loving way. That might mean not being together. I am very, very overwhelmed by my situation and trying to figure it out.
• 
  46

  Do mixed marriages work? What about kids?

  by greenie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm new and have posted something along these lines recently on another thread, but i'm wondering, do marriages between non-jws and jws work?

  by "work" i mean can they be loving and happy?

  and what about kids?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  greenie

  Alan - he says he got away from it by stopping reading his Bible and going to meetings. If there's more to it than that he's not admitting it.
• 
  46

  Do mixed marriages work? What about kids?

  by greenie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm new and have posted something along these lines recently on another thread, but i'm wondering, do marriages between non-jws and jws work?

  by "work" i mean can they be loving and happy?

  and what about kids?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  greenie

  We've actually talked about the blood transfusion thing. I've tried to explain to him how the new partial allowances don't make sense bc you still have to store blood to even make those treatments. I've also told him that JWs used to not be allowed organ transplants. He didn't know that but it didn't seem to make any effect on how he feels. He has told me that if our child needed a lifesaving blood transfusion he wouldn't go against what I would want. He says he doesn't see how he could overrule that. However, if it was him in the emergency situation, he'd want me to tell the doctors no. I told him I'd just have to stay silent (I can't murder him...).

  We still need to talk in greater details about the holidays. I think he knows I will celebrate them, but I don't know what he thinks about our child. He has said that our child will just have to be exposed to both of our religions. Some of this to me sounds progressive for a JW based on what I've read on this site. Any thoughts?

  He obviously can't go back right now in our current situation, but I'm nervous because I have no idea how he envisions our life when he does.

  LB - What improvements are you seeing? How did you reach them?

  OTWO - I agree that if we didn't have a baby I would have put much, much more thought into this and tested the situation more. I bet we would've dated for a very long time, and I'm not sure how it would've worked out. I always wonder how he got so far away from the religion to meet me (the worldly girl - and can I say how much I hate that term!) and have a baby with me! And I feel guilty when I hope that he will stay that way, or go back and decide to move away from it again. God is important to me and I hate to deny it to him.
• 
  46

  Do mixed marriages work? What about kids?

  by greenie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm new and have posted something along these lines recently on another thread, but i'm wondering, do marriages between non-jws and jws work?

  by "work" i mean can they be loving and happy?

  and what about kids?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  greenie

  Hi all,

  I'm new and have posted something along these lines recently on another thread, but I'm wondering, do marriages between non-JWs and JWs work? By "work" I mean can they be loving and happy? And what about kids? I am a non-JW (and a never want to be a JW)engaged to be married to an inactive but wanting to return JW, and we have a baby together. Have any of you ever been raised in a mixed household and NOT grown up JW, I'm really interested in that scenario but any thoughts are welcome.

  Thanks!
• 
  41

  So confused

  by greenie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i've been reading this board for a while but never posted.

  so, go easy on me!

  i have a lot of thoughts, but they're not going to be totally clear.. my story: i was dating a guy, not long, but totally fell in love with him.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  greenie

  Wellllll, I've spoken to him some more and it doesn't look like he's giving up his views any time soon. At times I feel strong and like "I can do this" but at others I feel a little down...a lot down, at the situation I've gotten myself into. At the same time, I do love him and I would marry the guy that I've been with this whole time, but that guy is not a JW. I know many of you have said to not marry him, but not marrying him feels like as big of a deal as marrying him would be.

  When we talk about religion, it's like I can never win because I can't quote scripture like him. He says that he gets all his answers from the Bible. I don't know how to explain to him that his answers, although they come from the Bible, lose some validity for me because the men in Bethel were the ones who told him where to look in the Bible for those answers. Ugh.

  Choosing Life - how does your mixed marriage work? Do you have kids?