Thanks for all the great info. We are going to go to counseling, so that makes me hopeful. At least we'll have a mediated place to talk about everything. Sometimes when he get into religious talk it feels more like I'm getting hit over the head with a bible than actually talked to. I'm learning that's one of the messages though, that JWs are right because they know their bibles and no one else does. I like how they can take it literally some places and not others. And in some places where they take it literally, it's not even the right meaning.
Yknot, I really appreciate your feedback. I had read another post of yours about making relationships work (you talked about fall carnivals,etc.). If it's not too personal, I'm confused as to whether you're still active. If you are, then does that mean JWs can be laid back (don't everyone explode at that comment)? You can PM me if you want since I now know how to do that. =)
While I'm at it, do any of you think there's anyway to convince him that celebrating birthdays are ok?
Also, I've got to say that I've been reading a lot on here, and his family really, really does seemed laid back and nonjudgemental. I think maybe his parents have mellowed over the years as his dad was an elder but no longer. I mentioned one of his siblings doesn't practice at all, was baptized, married a non-JW and isn't shunned. Do you think his family could be a special case?