Posts by Butterflyleia85

54

Back Again about Disfellowshipment.... Please Help!!

by Butterflyleia85 in

ok so i'm doing alot better by going on this website and message board... everyone is so incouraging and wise!

i'm really happy but struggling.. i look at this website and i am down again..... http://www.watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm.

if someone can pick at this and help me deal with being disfellowshiped please do so.... i know alot of you are going to be like duh will don't go to jw website or stay away from it.

Butterflyleia85

Well if you don't agree with Disfellowshipment then you will be considered not following God's Arrangement, Angle Eyes. That is what one of the elders told me. And I beat around with tactful words and said but I do agree with God's organization (but in my head, nope never did never will like the disfellowshipment act, even when I was 10 I still sneaked a smile and said hello to the disfellowshiped ones letting them know I was thinking of them) I always been sorta a rebel as a Jehovah Witness just cause I did more motives with my heart then logic I guess.

But when it came down to the broken hearted and crushed in spirit, I reached out, even in the fire I reach out. (hence why I got DF the first time... I fell in love with a DF guy...) hmmm kinda reminds me of what you are doing right now angel eyes. I'm not trying scare you but seriously I believe if you are caught wondering around in danger zone according to elders you will be counseled. I learned the hard way... I found I need to take care of myself and my family and safe guard them from harm first. If it is my family I am protecting by letting them not know the sad but true thing I'm learning on here so be it. I rather be accountable and them feel good for what they are doing then confuse them and make them even more afraid to talk to me. As for myself I need to know I am not doomed to die because I am Disfellowshipped!! I love my fiance and I want children with him I don't want my family to live in fear and guilt and confusion of what is ok and what is not. Not like I did. So I need to get out of this, get out of being JW and have another way of getting there a new direction lead I can trust and follow. No BS. No tickle of the ears but straight up... A new hope for the Future. And peace at heart.

54

Back Again about Disfellowshipment.... Please Help!!

by Butterflyleia85 in

ok so i'm doing alot better by going on this website and message board... everyone is so incouraging and wise!

i'm really happy but struggling.. i look at this website and i am down again..... http://www.watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm.

if someone can pick at this and help me deal with being disfellowshiped please do so.... i know alot of you are going to be like duh will don't go to jw website or stay away from it.

Butterflyleia85

I will paint a timeline for you Angel eyes because I don't think you realize I been out of being a Jehovah Witness for over a year now.

June 2004 - Baptized at 19

June 2006 - Publicly Reproved

Aug 2006 - Disfellowshipped

two letter in process

January 2008 - Reinstated

May 2008 - Disfellowshipped

Today - Getting frustrated

Soon to be married - June 13 2010 ;) just thought I throw that one in there...

54

Back Again about Disfellowshipment.... Please Help!!

by Butterflyleia85 in

ok so i'm doing alot better by going on this website and message board... everyone is so incouraging and wise!

i'm really happy but struggling.. i look at this website and i am down again..... http://www.watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm.

if someone can pick at this and help me deal with being disfellowshiped please do so.... i know alot of you are going to be like duh will don't go to jw website or stay away from it.

Butterflyleia85

Oh and another thing hotspur, Yeah that’s what my councilor suggested too – (Have peace but first of all forgive yourself for the guilt that is being heaped on you. Recognize where it comes from - yourself, god or a bunch of rule driven men.) It seriously is what keep me alive! I was so depressed when I first got DF it was pathetic.

Black Sheep I don’t know who Charles Manson is - The followers of Charles Manson took a very dim view of their ex/non members. Would you feel bad if a member of the Manson/Koresh/Jim Jones families thought evil of you?

Flipper & others that has been reinstated, Yeah I been there too, I was reinstated and they do watch you like a hawk, the people are all cheerful and happy the day of announcement but then nothing afterward... they want to keep a little distance just cause you now labeled spiritually weak, I had people treat me as if I wasn't human but a person that needed to be guided spiritually not to be hanging out with... and that's what i needed my friends again to support me and be close to me again. It hurt to see them move on with their lives like that, I was happy for them but I just felt so abandoned... I felt like screaming "DO YOU REALIZE WHAT I BEEN THROUGH!" "OH I KNOW WHAT YOUR THINKING I WAS JUST LIKE YOU AND I SWEAR TO YOU I WISH YOU ALL WERE DF, THEN YOU WOULD SEE IT SERIOUSLY IS PUNISHMENT ENOUGH!" "I'M STILL A GOOD PERSON, I JUST MADE A MISTAKE!" "WHY CAN'T YOU SEE, THAT IT'S NOT BLACK IN WHITE, THERE ARE GRAY SPOTS TOO" "PEOPLE MAKE BAD CHOICES IN LIFE, DOESN'T MAKE THEM A BAD PERSON" Who was I left with even getting back in the same people that helped me get in... my DF friends and family (actually just my mom and sometimes grandma and my sister). I realized after going to counseling and having my family that's all that I needed.

I didn't like the Hawk over my head. I still drank. and one day at home I got a call... (bluh bluh bluh) It was over my elders called to weeks after that night and had a meeting with me. I got disfellowshipped for the second time. I just basically gave up on the society... I was broken and asked many times for help... it's all exhausting after awhile.

"1Cor 5 11-13, they fail to mention 2Cor. 2-7" -Kaytee ...very true.

And while I was out in the Hall talking to the elder I feel that this statement is true too...

"they are bound first to the human directives of the WTS whereas you are to Jehovah and his Christ!" -Ynot

I think when it comes down to it they are imperfect humans. But that's all God can work with right??

So who holds the power to direct his servants if it isn't through "God's Organization"?

I agree good scripture willyoman, "This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."

Not saying this really to the elders (I swear I felt one of my elders had great pain and sympathy for me but he stepped down from elders position while I was DF so I couldn't go back to him) ... but the obligation and burden the Organization holds over the elders stemming down to the individual people in the congregation. I know all is meant well because I do find love in peace through certain ppl in the hall individually. If I could just have thrived off of that more and thought more positively I could have probably made it (after reinstatement).

But again back to when reading the Watchtower information and hearing talks, this type of conscience simpathy was wrong... So there! I'm confused again. Everything is painted black and white again.

54

Back Again about Disfellowshipment.... Please Help!!

by Butterflyleia85 in

ok so i'm doing alot better by going on this website and message board... everyone is so incouraging and wise!

i'm really happy but struggling.. i look at this website and i am down again..... http://www.watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm.

if someone can pick at this and help me deal with being disfellowshiped please do so.... i know alot of you are going to be like duh will don't go to jw website or stay away from it.

Butterflyleia85

Can you reword this for me Hotspur...

I followed those links and spotted something in Paul's writings I'd not spotted before.... "Quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person [or guilty of another gross sin], . . . not even eating with such a man."

Suddenly, I see a get out in their own reasoning..... "anyone called a brother". Disfellowshipping from within the GB's own rules removes the title of brother so, Paul's admonition no longer has substance. Especially does this apply to a person who has disassociated his or herself!

I'm sorry it's me I need a complete detail what you mean or trying to say. but just to let you know I didn't disassociate myself I got DF and also tried to appeal it cause I plead for help and was willing for disapline but not DFment. I was already going through much heart ache... My life pretty much felt like it was crumbled mess and I just needed someone there.

54

Back Again about Disfellowshipment.... Please Help!!

by Butterflyleia85 in

ok so i'm doing alot better by going on this website and message board... everyone is so incouraging and wise!

i'm really happy but struggling.. i look at this website and i am down again..... http://www.watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm.

if someone can pick at this and help me deal with being disfellowshiped please do so.... i know alot of you are going to be like duh will don't go to jw website or stay away from it.

Butterflyleia85

Thank you all for when I put two and two together it takes a huge weight of my shoulders....

I read Hebrews 10:26 THRU 31 and it is left up to God. If they hold their Watchtower Society information so strongly, yeah they should consider the '74 Awake!!

Then reading scriptures Yknot gave me I feel at peace. "turn with me to Luke 5:31-32 (read), now onto 15:7 (read), now lets flip to Ephesians 4:32 where we are reminded to forgive freely (note it doesn't reference a 3-man JC looking at your attendance record and reinstatement request). Ending finally in Colossians 3:13, 14"

That does helps alot. I appressiate all of your comments thanks a bunch I read all of them and have tons of research and reading it looks like ahead.

54

Back Again about Disfellowshipment.... Please Help!!

by Butterflyleia85 in

ok so i'm doing alot better by going on this website and message board... everyone is so incouraging and wise!

i'm really happy but struggling.. i look at this website and i am down again..... http://www.watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm.

if someone can pick at this and help me deal with being disfellowshiped please do so.... i know alot of you are going to be like duh will don't go to jw website or stay away from it.

Butterflyleia85

144001, I have gone to counseling and they did help me, understand me. Right now I can't afford counseling, I got laid off from my job and rehired in by the Union to a sucky job and quiet and now can get unemployment so I'm stuck at home with to much time on my hands thinking about all of this again.

It reminds me of weeds... I mow it over and it keeps growing back.... Now I'm ready to pull out each and every weed to get through this! I don't want weeds to creep back on me. Kinda like what the bible says about when you will reap what you sow but in my own version relating to the weeds as my faith or guilt. I'm spiritually in need of encouragement and all I seem to turn to is the Watchtower Society information.

Purplesofa, “I well know, O Jehovah, that to earthling man his way does not belong. It does not belong to man who is walking even to direct his step.” (Jeremiah 10:23) so see it's kinda hard for me not to turn to the only reliable source I was born with Watchtower Society information. I need direction... If you have some direction, information, site, or reading material I will be interested.

I am so cautious though I don't want to believe in every inspired word. But Safeguard practical wisdom and thinking ability cause that is what will help me in life now and in the future. (Proverbs 3:21-23)

nelly136, Yes I agree allot of it is a type of mind game they play but I don't feel totally entrap like I was. I feel like I'm Bible dumb! I keep turning to Watchtower Society for help cause that was the only thing that comfort me, it gave me hope and inspiration. They lay it out for you like a map to paradise earth. If you are with them and obey the treasures are yours. If you slip you get thrown off the ship!

54

Back Again about Disfellowshipment.... Please Help!!

by Butterflyleia85 in

ok so i'm doing alot better by going on this website and message board... everyone is so incouraging and wise!

i'm really happy but struggling.. i look at this website and i am down again..... http://www.watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm.

if someone can pick at this and help me deal with being disfellowshiped please do so.... i know alot of you are going to be like duh will don't go to jw website or stay away from it.

Butterflyleia85

Ok so I'm doing alot better by going on this website and message board... everyone is so incouraging and wise! I'm really happy but struggling.

I look at this website and I am down again....

http://www.watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm

If someone can pick at this and help me deal with being Disfellowshiped please do so...

I know alot of you are going to be like duh will don't go to JW website or stay away from it. But please understand this is my whole upbringing and I will probably bounce back to this for the rest of my life...

Please help... Not say for or against JW, just need more ideas on what to do or how to feel again.

41

what did you study?? Do you think it should be longer.....?

by angel eyes in

what publication did you study and how long was the study for??.

when i came in you were only allowed 6months, i didnt even get that lol...but was baptised after 5months.

it was so fast but i was ready for baptism.

Butterflyleia85

I studied the My Book of Bible Stories with my Grandpa when I was just learning how to read! I loved it we did drama from the characters in the book. As I got older I did the basic study of the Watchtower and Books for Book Study. And then when I was ready for baptism (my grandpa was gone then) I did personal study with a sister bout 10 years older then me and we studied the Worship the Only True God together in 2003. She was a very spiritual and strong lady. We were friends and I enjoyed hanging out with her alot. I went from door to door with her and I went and did fun things like a group of use young ones would go on ski trips, horseback riding, skating, etc. As I got more comfortable with witness friends we had group studies. I got baptised and had wonderful encouragement!...(the rest is another story)

I think studying should take as long as possible for a good conscience to stem... It's a personal decision for one to feel worthy enough to comment to God in baptism. And being consisent helps too. Consisent prayer, Bible reading, and good asociation. (using the liture and bible aids as well as the society's fellowship just helps you get stronger being a JW and be wise in the Bible (for dumb ppl like me lol))

I take being a JW like being Married. :)

49

Feeling numb... feeling like I did when I first DAed.

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

my dad recently told all the kids that he has terminal cancer.

he is going to die... could be in a month... could be in a year.. all the kids recently visited my parents over last weekend.

i was allowed to come too due to the "family business" clause in the wts rules.. yesterday i cried... i'm still crying a bit today and am feeling numb.

Butterflyleia85

Wow that's so sad, I'm so sorry! That would be awful to deal with. I too am DF and I really have a battle right now with going back. But say if I were in your shoes what if my grandma said that to me to after tell me she had cancer. It scares me.

But "survive" you say...

I agree with Yknot, sounds like your father loves you and if you remember being a JW you would probably say the same to your loved one. But getting back in is a personal decision between you and Jehovah. I don't know what you beliefs are right now with JW or personal issues... but right now you are trying to cope with a painful situation of your loved one facing the end of life on this earth. If you could glimpse in to JW beliefs for a sec. at let remember that, he will be ok and only sleeping and will be resurrected.

Are you close to family or someone you can talk too...

I personally had to get a counselor to cope with my loss (being DF felt like I lost my family). I constantly think of my grandpa who was an elder and passed away, I wonder if I will get to see him again in the new system. It's hard. The advice I have gotten that did help a bet from a friend at work was how he dealt with his loss... he said he takes family and love ones in his life as memorable and we may not know what the future holds for us but God will make things right and he knows all the answers... he is God of Justices but also a loving and caring God. So the guy says if you believe you will see your grandfather again you will, you’re a good person.

So I say this to you, it will be ok and God knows we are imperfect, if the organization is lead by imperfect men, we (DF or not) too will get a chance. We don't have to be in the organization or not, we just got to do what we can and remember the good in life. I personally believe in the righteous and the unrighteous will be resurrected.

I do hope you can think of good positive things and hold tight because there are caring people who want to encourage and help.

If I could give you a hug I would!

53

What should I say to the Mormons?

by bluecanary in

yesterday as i was leaving the apartment, there were two women in skirts, holding bibles at the door across from me.

i almost panicked!

i definitely want to talk the jws if they ever come to my door (no one knows me in this area) but i'm not ready yet!.

Butterflyleia85

Oh my goodness thanks for that video! I use to have The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (basically Mormon) come study with me each week, a couple of months ago. They are nice ppl and kinda reminded me of when I use to go out and preached but I didn't follow their beliefs at all. But because of being DF at my Hall I just decide hey maybe I can be accepted and encouraged to do good for God. But yeah it is weird how they believed and I could never get them to just stick with the Bible they referred to the The Book of Mormon all the time. Eventually they saw I was firm with my belief and they stopped visiting. They are very nice people though. I hope God looks at their efforts though. "Resurrection of righteous and the unrighteous" ya know.