Posts by babygirl30

16

Interesting Thought about JW's and People Outside the Org

by Mrs. Witness in

on another thread, aude sapeare said:.

jws make this huge assumption that once you leave the 'protection' of the org, you will go off the deep end and become totally irresponsible, drink, smoke, do drugs and have sex with anyone and anything.. that is what i have been fighting with my husband about for 3 years now.

when he was kicked out of his jw's mom's house when he was 15, that is exactly what he did for about 20 years.

babygirl30

THAT is exactly what my parents had BURNED into my head "If you leave the safety of Jehovah's org - you will succumb to Satan". HUH???? That to me says that they have no faith in the way they raised me. I was raised to have morals, i was raised to be respectful, I was raised to follow the law of the land and take care of myself.

....and thats what I do! Been DF'd 1yr and have never touched a drug in my life!!!! Never smoked either. I don't drink excessively, have never committed any crimes (major or petty), and I am not out running the streets - as my parents LOVE to accuse me of. To them, if you aren't a JW, you're obivously 'runnin the streets' and their last comment to me when I told them I refused to come back to mtgs was "It's obvoius you are SO far into the world!" HAHAHAHAHAHA. Really? I even asked them - WHAT am I doing that is so 'street' or is so 'worldly'? Neither one could answer.

Just remember that the whole JW's vs The World is what we are TAUGHT! The org is supposed to be a bubble the guards us from ALL dangers of the big bad world...and if you leave that bubble, well then, you're no longer protected and ALL BAD is supposed to happen to you. UGH.

32

Living With Regret - what do YOU regret about being in the org?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

1. getting baptized at 14 and not knowing what the heck i was 'signing' up for.

2. dating worthless, lazy, no work ethic, selfish 'brothers' who were supposedly approved all because they were baptized - but in the end - were a waste of my time and younger years in dating.. 3. subjecting my bf (back in the day) who was a non-jw to the whole jw experience!

i demanded that he study, i demanded that he change his religion in order to be with me, i made him sit with my parents and listened to them berate him (and myself) while they fed him all their haughty beliefs and requirements in order to date their jw daughter.

babygirl30

Sooner7nc

Ya know...I recently contacted my ex (the 1st worldly one...hahahaha) and sincerely apologized! We worked together for YEARS, and eventually he went on to get married and now has his 2nd child on the way. BUT to this day, he admits that he was in love with me and although he got what he wanted (a wife and kids) that it is NOT with the PERSON he wanted (he wanted to marry me...). Breaks my heart to even THINK about it sometimes because I can still picture us all sitting at the diningroom table, me crying so hard I was gagging to throw up, and him through tears - telling my parents how much he loved me and wanted to be with me and would do whatever it took to do so. UGH!!! Just the flashback hurts...still.

I actually ended up recently sending him an email and sincerely apologizing!!! I had to...this has been myyear of making peace with myself, my past, and the people that really MATTERED in my life - him being 1 of them. Of course today there is nothing romantic between us, I have moved on and am with someone that I love dearly. Like I said, this ex is married and has kids - but I just could not go another day without telling him how sorry I was for putting him through that nonsense of studying, of my parents being so cruel and cold to him, and of me giving him the ultimatum "well if you love me - you would study to be a JW". I will forever regret putting that sweet man through such craziness 10yrs ago.

32

Living With Regret - what do YOU regret about being in the org?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

1. getting baptized at 14 and not knowing what the heck i was 'signing' up for.

2. dating worthless, lazy, no work ethic, selfish 'brothers' who were supposedly approved all because they were baptized - but in the end - were a waste of my time and younger years in dating.. 3. subjecting my bf (back in the day) who was a non-jw to the whole jw experience!

i demanded that he study, i demanded that he change his religion in order to be with me, i made him sit with my parents and listened to them berate him (and myself) while they fed him all their haughty beliefs and requirements in order to date their jw daughter.

babygirl30

1. Getting baptized at 14 and not knowing WHAT the heck I was 'signing' up for

2. Dating worthless, lazy, no work ethic, SELFISH 'brothers' who were supposedly approved all because they were baptized - but in the end - were a waste of my time and YOUNGER years in dating.

3. Subjecting my bf (back in the day) who was a non-JW to the whole JW experience! I demanded that he study, I demanded that he change his religion in order to be with me, I made him sit with my parents and listened to them berate him (and myself) while they fed him all their haughty beliefs and requirements in order to date THEIR JW daughter. In the end, I chose the religion over him...all because I didn't want to lose my family.

4. Confessing EVERYTHING to the elders and expecting them to be loving and compassionate instead of cruel and demeaning.

5. LISTENING and believing that I needed to stay with my abusive JW fiance all because we're taught to 'let your yes mean yes - no no' and that I needed to be MORE in subjection and not provoke HIM into hurting me!

6. Never taking the time to really get to know my non-JW family on a personal level...was always taught they were 'worldly' and so we as JWs should NOT associate with them. Of course NOW I do talk to them - regularly.

7. Treating people that were DF'd like they didn't exist. Guess you never know WHAT it feels like until YOU'RE in their shoes - and now I know. But I feel bad that I ignored them in public or stopped talking to them AS IF I was better then them...so digusting to even think about.

8. NEVER questioning things....and accepting whatever I was told from the platform.

9. Comming across as 'snotty' or standoffish to certain people because I refused to hang out with them or get to know them (scrips say bad association spoils useful habits). Instead I formed conditional 'friendships' with people who could've cared less about ME in the end

10. Allowing my parents to use the religion to manipulate and control me

11. Judging people and feeling I had the right to do so...I mean, I was a JW - we truly believed we were judge & jury!!!

I can think of more, but they will come to me when I have a little peace in my area. Anyone else care to share what they regret?

15

Do you keep JW pictures???

by Albert Einstein in

jw
friends

after many years of very active live in jw religion we have thousands of jw related pictures ... conventions, jw guests, jw friends ..... so btw - do you keep yours, or did you get rid of them?.

my wife is still mentally in, so throwing all of them out is not on the agenda, but i dont really want to watch it .... it makes me feel embarassed how stupid i was ... on the other hand, i might want to keep some ... its still part of my life.... albert.

babygirl30

I have TONS and T-O-N-S of pics of JW's (with and w/o me) from all the years of being 'in' the org and traveling. Makes me LAUGH now cause all those people who were supposedly my friends now day say spit to me...

with that said - I keep them because at least with those people...there ARE good memories. But it also is a reminder of who I used to be - NOT the person I am today.

29

How long did it take before you started talking to others about being an ex-dub?

by the real life in

jw
friends

i was just wondering if any of you took time to speak openly about being an ex-witness.. sometimes, when it came up naturally, i told some of my friends; in other cases, i felt really uncomfortable talking about it.

in fact, it's a little strange, but i felt more comfortable telling casual friends rather than the people closest to me.

i often felt like it was a huge revelation to make, often to find that people weren't really that shocked.

babygirl30

For awhile, I just kept it to myself (I would say about 6 mos) because #1 - I was going to meetings trying to get reinstated and #2 - it was burned in my HEAD that going 'public' with my DFing would only bring reproach on Jehovah's name....so I didn't tell people. Now at around my 7th mos is when things got worse for me (in dealing with the brothers) and I stopped going to mtgs - at that point my parents pretty much gave up ON me and decided they were now going to follow the shunning policy. THAT is when I was done keeping secrets...done being manipulated and controlled - and I finally started telling people "Oh, I was raised in a very strict religious home" or else I would come right out and tell them that I was RAISED a JW (signifying that's not how I was anymore).

15

What is my legacy?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

as i was cleaning my house last night, i was boxing up all my jw literature i still had out in the open...and i was surprised how there was so much!!

i still had the videos in plain view, my bookshelf in my computer room was full over old kms/watchtower & awakes/bibles, and found my old mtg and service bags still full of literature too!.

so i throw the majority of it out, box up the rest, and then when i'm done and relaxing, i start thinking about what my legacy will be.

babygirl30

I was told by the elders that I would be df'd for refusing to obey their orders and stalk a homicidal maniac to prove adultery on his part.

R u kidding me? They TOLD u that? WOW!!! 1 elder on my JC told me "we have chosen to DF you, although I know you probably thought reproof would be the decision, but I KNOW that YOU feel that reproof would not be what you wanted - it woudln't be enough". HUH???????? I must've looked at him like he was nuts cause it wasn't too long after that he called me 'mentally ill' and that I needed to rely more on Jehovah.

Telling you...the MORE I replay the things the elders have SAID and DONE to people (and reading everyone's experiences here) it confirms the reasons why I do not want to go back.

2

Watchtower CD

by elder-schmelder in

jw
friends

does anyone have a extra watchtower cd that i could buy?

i dont need the current year, but i would like a newer one (i have 2003).. .

elder-schmelder.

babygirl30

I JUST found an unopened 2008 cd if you want it (no charge of course)...I'm NOT going to be using anyhow!

By the way - i LOVE Jim Gaffigan (your avatar)!!! He is hilarious.

15

WHY DO ELDERS LABEL THOSE EXPOSING ERROR AS APOSTATES?

by Fernando in

first topic posted - sorry if it is a bit too long.. why do elders accept this absurd teaching of demons: "anyone rejecting what is not of god, is rejecting god"???.

evidence that these elders - not their victims - are apostates (wolves, weeds, the man of lawlessness, the antichrist, practicers of spiritism).

having gone through extreme adversity and consequently deep spiritual waters our family has come to understand apostasy to fundamentally mean the following:.

babygirl30

For the SAME reason abusers convince OTHERS (outside the home) that the victim is 'crazy....deranged....mentally ill...and a liar". By doing that, the abuser is able to protect his ego and maintain a good reputation, while making his victim look SO unstable to other people that most won't even question HER or believe what she says. The best way to get others NOT to deal with someone is to negatively 'label' that person so that people are manipulated to the point of NOT wanting to deal with them.

Labeling someone 'apostate' sets them apart from ALL JWs and isolates them. People will believe the org, and they will take a stance against that person...which is sad. It all comes down to control! If you can't control em - threaten em!!!! (the abusers mantra)

4

Some of the things they say...

by AwSnap in

jw
friends

i spoke with a jw recently...we were shooting the breeze and i joked what a rebel i am & he said "we recently had a great watchtower on that very topic, how so many people in the world are rebellious these days and how jehovah looks at that.

" .

babygirl30

I always remember my mom telling me the same thing: "It's amazing how no matter WHAT goes on, an article or a talk comes up at the RIGHT time and it can only be Jehovah". She would throw that in my face all the time.

15

What is my legacy?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

as i was cleaning my house last night, i was boxing up all my jw literature i still had out in the open...and i was surprised how there was so much!!

i still had the videos in plain view, my bookshelf in my computer room was full over old kms/watchtower & awakes/bibles, and found my old mtg and service bags still full of literature too!.

so i throw the majority of it out, box up the rest, and then when i'm done and relaxing, i start thinking about what my legacy will be.

babygirl30

Your Legacy is yours to define and execute. I wish you much success in this endeavour. Have you given any thoughts to what it might include?

You're right! Since being DF'd, I've really gotten 'involved' in areas of society that I NEVER would've before because it was just NOT what JWs do!! I volunteer with the Domestic Violence coalition here in my area, I joined a tennis league and they play on what USED to be my mtg nights (oooohhh - hahahahahah!), and I am following a career path that would NEVER be approved by JWs. So I feel successful to a degree, and I know i am a good person and all...it's just every once in a awhile I get the crazy 'thought' reminding me that JWs do not and would not think very highly of me NOW all because of a title. If I were to die tomorrow, there are tons of people who like me for me and couldn't say 1 bad thing about me. But none of that matters to JWs ... my legacy to THEM is defined by that ugly title (DF'd). That hurts.