CONGRATS on your daughter breaking down and speaking...I think it's WONDERFUL!!!
babygirl30
JoinedPosts by babygirl30
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61
My daughter (JW) just called .......
by mouthy inafter all these years!!!!
she is 63 yrs old still a jw.. has shunned me for years.. she lives in montreal me in ontario... .
last week i got the urge to send her a lovely card just to tell her i love her .
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I hate that it gets to me!!
by Newborn injust back from lunch and met two different former good friends from my congregation (i live in a small town) and they, of course, turned their backs on me... and it makes me feel strange and bad even though they're the ones who should really feel bad.... how can i learn to ignore it??.
makes me both sad and angry at the same time.
grrrr.
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babygirl30
brainwashed-from-birth
That is the SAME thing my family has told me repeatedly...I have been told over and over NOT to tell people about them shunning me and me being DF'd. My mother is passionate about NOBODY 'speaking badly about Jehovah's org' and she was accusing me of being soooo far in the world. Why? All because I told her that I have no problem telling folks that my parents choose NOT to have dealings with me because I am no longer a JW. That's not a lie...I'm not exaggerating the truth either - THAT is the point blank reason.
I agree wholeheartedly with what you said - if JWs are so passionate about their religion (aka - lifestyle) then WHY not speak up about it? Why NOT be proud that you dismiss people completely out of the cong and out of your life? They are right...people DON'T understand why JWs do what they do...because it doesn't make SENSE!!!
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Just was given the 'cold shoulder' by my own sister in public...
by babygirl30 inthat fat, sloppy, nasty b*tch is the one person on this earth i cannot stand.
yes...i said it... i cannot stand my own sister!
the girl is bpd (borderline personality disorder) and so she technically is mentally ill - but it makes her a terribly vindictive and hateful person.
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babygirl30
Poppers
Thank you dear! It's hard to explain to people HOW she can act this way and not think SHE is wrong...her mental illness makes her WANT to hurt others (me, right now)...and to see ME fall on my face. She has always been the blacksheep of the family, and so nobody really dealt with her. But NOW that I am on the 'outside' and she knows that I love my niece dearly and miss her, the whole religious aspect is her 'leverage' to keep me out of my nieces life AND to put herself above me (because she is baptized) and so she now is in the good graces of our parents again. Of couse they have shunned me and IF she wants them to back her financially (which she needs right now) then she must play the game - go to mtgs and shun ME. But to someone that already has mental problems and they involve her thinking she has a RIGHT to mistreat people...it's a recipe for disaster
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I hate that it gets to me!!
by Newborn injust back from lunch and met two different former good friends from my congregation (i live in a small town) and they, of course, turned their backs on me... and it makes me feel strange and bad even though they're the ones who should really feel bad.... how can i learn to ignore it??.
makes me both sad and angry at the same time.
grrrr.
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babygirl30
LatinXJW
Oh my God...I was sitting here DYIN laughing!!! Wu-Tang is from Ny....not to mention, Jay-Z, Ja-Rule, P-Diddy, Biggie was too (know exactly where he lived too, my friends were in his projects). That is such a FUNNY thought you bring up, but so true. Pretty sure back in the day when they bought that property, they NEVER imagined people would walk around their building singing "I see some ladies tonight that could be havin my baby - BABY!" -hahahahahahahahaha
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I hate that it gets to me!!
by Newborn injust back from lunch and met two different former good friends from my congregation (i live in a small town) and they, of course, turned their backs on me... and it makes me feel strange and bad even though they're the ones who should really feel bad.... how can i learn to ignore it??.
makes me both sad and angry at the same time.
grrrr.
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babygirl30
Newborn
Sweetie - I'm sorry!!! Guess this just isn't the WEEK for 'good behavior' out there in the world...huh? LOL. This type of behavior is just so incomprehensible. People that claim to be the most loving are the very ones that will blatantly turn their backs ON YOU and still believe they are doing the right thing. The shame part I can relate to...initially though. Running into old 'friends' (and I use that term losely now) I initially get that weird embarassed feeling - as if I am lower then them or a bad person. But then it dawns on me that I'm NOT! Same goes for you. But I know you will be ok and keep it movin!!!
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More Cultural Differences - Strictness Levels & Demographic
by creativhoney infrom what i read on these threads it seems to me that the usa is a lot stricter than the uk, in all aspects of the religion.
- is this a general cultural thing, ie a lot of middle america are still a godfearing bunch, or just a witness thing, maybe a bit of both, and if anyone could provide examples of strictness, lets see how the same situation would be handled in the uk?
and is it easier going in cities than the country counterparts?
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babygirl30
JW Americans if they go consider 'going where the need is greater' vacations too.......or they count their DC or International Convention their vacation.
YES!!!!!!!! I don't know how many JWs would literally consider the convention their 'summer vacation' or else they would plan family vacations 'working' where there need is greater in some God forsaken part of the state. WOW, thinking back to that stuff really makes me shake my head in disbelief. My family took LONG vacations on a regularl basis, and my mom would actually get upset if we didn't go to a Khall in the area we were vacationing...she really would make it seem like we weren't 'spiritual' because we didn't attend.
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More Cultural Differences - Strictness Levels & Demographic
by creativhoney infrom what i read on these threads it seems to me that the usa is a lot stricter than the uk, in all aspects of the religion.
- is this a general cultural thing, ie a lot of middle america are still a godfearing bunch, or just a witness thing, maybe a bit of both, and if anyone could provide examples of strictness, lets see how the same situation would be handled in the uk?
and is it easier going in cities than the country counterparts?
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babygirl30
I think it does have to do with demographic area....but that counts in the US also. Here on the East Coast (in the Northeast) I am located 2hrs from NY...so not only do a lot of NYers come into our area to live (because it's cheaper then NY but close enough to commute for work) and I swear that being that close to headquarters gave everyone this 'aire' of superiority! We always got regular Bethel speakers, visitors, invitations to the annual mtgs, etc. But the RULES seemed to be upheld a lot closer here also. Having so many JWs in and from NY and then being a quick drive there, it made things rather strict.
Now I have friends on the West Coast (California) and also down South (Miami) and THEY have a completely different attitude about JW rules and all. The way they dress, act, things they say and do...everything seemed more 'lax' to me. Things they did would NOT fly up here in the NEast and would cause major issues in the cong IF they lived in this area of the US. But I'm guessing that since they are further from headquarters, and mix in the climate difference (summer all the time) - I understand how they tended to be more easy going when it came to the rule.
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Dec. 15th WT - WT Society REALLY Minimizes Earning a Decent Living
by flipper init's ridiculous.
i saw this so much in my 44 years in the jehovah's witness cult.
whether it was elders, pioneers, or other people in the cult criticizing others for working too much at their employment or missing some service or meetings due to employment.
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babygirl30
I see a trend, especially in young people, to use the pioneer service as an excuse not to seek, productive, full-time work. It is pitiful how this religion feeds into the inherent laziness of some people and gives them a 'righteous' reason to not do anything with their lives.
Oh my God...that is PERFECTLY said!!!! This seems to be the 'thing' to do now...and I have a problem with that. Young people who don't really WANT to pioneer BUT also don't want to work FT, so their parents cut deals with them that if they pioneer they can live at home as long as they want and not have to pay bills (so they can work PT and keep their lil money). That type of action BREEDS laziness...you are so right about that. You end up with these adults, who have ever intention of getting married, but have NO skills or even motivation to support a family because they have been coddled. UGH.
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Just was given the 'cold shoulder' by my own sister in public...
by babygirl30 inthat fat, sloppy, nasty b*tch is the one person on this earth i cannot stand.
yes...i said it... i cannot stand my own sister!
the girl is bpd (borderline personality disorder) and so she technically is mentally ill - but it makes her a terribly vindictive and hateful person.
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babygirl30
they would be my fat cows and my bitches and I'd slap the living daylights out of anyone who ever dared to call them the things you have called your sister.
THAT is the point...if anyone ELSE said that stuff about my sister, I would kick THEIR teeth in!!! Most people now do know that there is 'something' wrong with sis and they avoid her because of it. Because of that - they refrain from saying MEAN things about her or talking about what she has done and said to them in FRONT of me. Even when someone crosses the line and and questions my sis's behavior, I don't even COMMENT - I will nicely reply "Please don't ask me about that...she is who she is". I will not dog her out to mutual acquaintances or even family that complains - as it's childish and cruel.
Before labeling or judging me for what I posted HERE (and only here)...again...you would need to have dealt directly with someone who has BPD and then you would understand where my frustration comes from and why I was so angry with her. With BPD, they repeatedly do and say things to 'saboutage' their intended victim when they feel abandoned or rejected. Now, their #1 reaction to their own feelings of insecurity is RAGE: uncontrollable, vicious, loud tantrum, vindictive - RAGE!!! So, imagine THAT is your sister, and you have been the target of her saboutage and rage for YEARS...so much so that you eventually decide to stop dealing with her at all (for your own health and safety) and she still continues to 'attack' you despite the distance. Things are so unstable with your sis that having a 'close family' relationship with her is impossible - as you never know the next time she will decide to 'attack' you again. Add onto that, the religious beliefs and now mix an already mental person into strict religious codes.....Wouldn't YOU be angry? Who would YOU talk to about it? Wouldn't YOU want a place to vent if/when necessary? Note - I said WAS angry - it's over, I got my feelings out on this board, and I'm fine now. But thank YOU for sharing your opinion. That's what these boards are all about!
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Just was given the 'cold shoulder' by my own sister in public...
by babygirl30 inthat fat, sloppy, nasty b*tch is the one person on this earth i cannot stand.
yes...i said it... i cannot stand my own sister!
the girl is bpd (borderline personality disorder) and so she technically is mentally ill - but it makes her a terribly vindictive and hateful person.
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babygirl30
Ninja - u r funny!! My niece loved me (when I was allowed around her) and would cry when I would leave...I believe because she KNEW that things between her mom and me were not 'ok' and that I probably would NOT see her regularly. NOT of my own choice - but that of her mothers. LONG story, but most BPD's use their children as 'leverage' to get what they want...or else they prevent the kids from being involved with the family until things go THEIR way. Hard to explain unless you've been there.
Lola28 - for the record, never EVER have I ever said such cruel things TO my sister. Not that kind of person to verbally attack someone (even though that is my sisters favorite thing to do to others)...I simply was venting my frustration and anger HERE online. At no time have I or would I - cause a 'scene' in front of my lil niece!! That is childish and would make ME just as bad as my sis. Lil one is innocent in this...her mother has used HER as bargaining piece, and it's sad that in the end, my niece misses out. So there is nothing awful about me at all. As I stated twice in this posting, that I was only venting...and felt comfortable enough to do so HERE on this board, because the reason my sister shuns me is due to the religious aspect. I may not be a JW anymore, but I still believe in "return evil for evil to no one" and continue to live that way. Until dealing with someone who is mentally ill and chooses YOU as their repeated target - then you really cannot label ME as "mean spirited and downright awful"...now can you?