An elder in the cong I used to attend had to 'step down' because his daughter (who was DF'd) was in dire need of a place to LIVE...after being assaulted by her husband. They told him that IF he were to have her move in with him he would HAVE to give up his position as an elder. I personally think that's SICKENING!!!
babygirl30
JoinedPosts by babygirl30
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27
An old friend of mine was deleted as an elder... you're gonna love why!
by JimmyPage init seems my friend stepped in to help his daughter out of an abusive relationship with her boyfriend.
the crime?
his daughter is disfellowshipped.
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why i wept bitterly in front of two elders......
by oompa innot sure if i ever shared this...but have seen several "sharing" threads here lately and it motivated me..... when i met with the co and po about some doubts and an important question....and when i got the co's answer.....i could not speak....i put my head down and just started crying...not sobbing cause i fought it back...finally the only words to come out were..."i am going to have to leave my wife and son"....and they were like wtf?...but in jw lingo of course.
see i knew in that instant...that very moment....that i had been lied to my entire life...and my stack of doubts i had been piling on the shelf and waiting on jehovah were all valid....and i knew i would never fit in again...not even with my wife and son...that i would never be the spiritual head they needed and wanted.....that was almost 4 years ago...man time flies...and yep...now i am separated from my jw wife...and yep...i did not fit in...not even with her...and my son is older now and moved out but we are not close.
btw...i had printed out all 12 places in rev.
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babygirl30
thats right newbies.....the name jehovah is NOT EVEN IN the new testament/greek scriptures....not even once...now i like to say..."we dragged the god of the jews kicking and screaming into christianity
Now THAT makes me cry! But thanks for sharing ... I NEED to see this type of stuff to keep the 'guilt' down. Cause there are days that I really get angry over all the 'lies' and how I was forced to join a religion that I knew NOTHING about. Now that I DO know better and am learning more about it, I can see how people's worlds as they believed (the belief system we had been fed) causes they to just break down!!!!! <<HUGS>> oompa
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The Day I had an Epiphany
by journey-on inmy eyes opened in more ways than one.
as i lay in bed that sunday morning, i knew i was never again going to rise hurriedly to get myself and the kids dressed and fed for field service.
i was actually feeling relieved and wanted to just turn over and go back to sleep, certain and content in my decision.. the day before, i had stood at the end of the block, after working a territory filled with barking dogs and people sleeping in after a hard days work week, and thinking, "never again".
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babygirl30
My lightbulb 'moment' was when I was working on 2 Regional Building Committees - so I would literally work 40hr during the week, and then give up EVERY weekend to work at a 'site' either building a KHall or remodeling one. Because of that, I was rarely in FS or at my Sun mtgs, and on my time slip I would account for all the hrs I was on a Khall site. An elder pulled me to the side and told me that I had to 'renew' my application for RBC and that it would probably be denied because I had NO time in service and wasn't regular at ALL mtgs.
HUH?????????????????????????????????? That was when things started unravelling for me. Slowly, of course, but they did.
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Even though I'm OUT of the JWs - I still feel a lil guilty! (help)
by babygirl30 inout of all the 'friends' i had while in the jws, only a few (4) still have contact with me - 2 of them being very close to me to this day.
one of these girls is about 6yrs older then me, so she has always been my 'big sis' so to speak!
anyhow she and her mom are jws and they live together, but are very 'relaxed' in their stance against me in that when i go out of town (which is on a regular basis) my gf will stay at my place to #1-get my mail, and #2-get a break from being up under her mom everyday!
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babygirl30
I KNOW...it is weird! - hahahahaha, I don't deny it!
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Odd CO talk...ever hear anything like this?
by sir82 inhad our co visit last month.
normally the guy has all the charisma and charm of ben stein from "ferris buhler's day off", but he managed to give a talk that was actually coherent one night.. here is the rough outline:.
the theme was about the difference between "justice", "mercy", and "undeserved kindness".. situation 1: adam and eve sinned.
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babygirl30
Wrong. The Biblical account is quite clear: God had already made up his mind that EVERYONE save Noah and family was to die. It never said God told Noah to preach a single thing, and it never said Noah preached a single thing. Even if he did, what would be the message? "You are all going to die. God says so. So there." What good would preaching something like that do? Nothing!
THAt is the stuff that makes me cry...because it's yet ANOTHER reminder that I grew up in a 'bubble' of false information and BELIEVED it all those years! It really is like the rug getting pulled right out from under me.
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Even though I'm OUT of the JWs - I still feel a lil guilty! (help)
by babygirl30 inout of all the 'friends' i had while in the jws, only a few (4) still have contact with me - 2 of them being very close to me to this day.
one of these girls is about 6yrs older then me, so she has always been my 'big sis' so to speak!
anyhow she and her mom are jws and they live together, but are very 'relaxed' in their stance against me in that when i go out of town (which is on a regular basis) my gf will stay at my place to #1-get my mail, and #2-get a break from being up under her mom everyday!
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babygirl30
Tea drinker - Thank you for making me feel BETTER about it! It makes me angry that I STILL hold ono these lil 'guilt' feelings that I really have no reason to anymore...I'm not a JW....haven't been a JW....don't believe in the org anymore. So to feel THIS guilty about it is weird to me. I'm at peace knowing my beliefs have changed and that I am free to do as I please - but my friend isn't, and so I have this awkward feeling of involuntarily messing her up - I guess is the term? I just don't want that weight on MY shoulders....
nugget - ur right, she's an adult!!! What she does is on HER...it's just like you said, the 'conditioning' is still VERY deep in me (only been out lil over 1yr) and it's just frustrating that tidbits of my past beliefs come creeping up out of nowhere!
LittleSister - honestly, the most SECURE friendships/relationships that I've formed have all been OUT of the org!!! It's the weirdest thing to explain to people how all the pics I had all over my house of 'friends'....are people that NO longer talk to me at all - because I am NOT a JW anymore. They just wrinkle up their faces in disbelief!! So congratulations on finding YOUR 'love' and not sacrificing that for whatever you were TOLD to do...my friend has been searching for love for a long time (haven't we all that were single JW gals?) It's the never-ending plight: grow up, get baptized, pioneer, find a good husband. UGH!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, her chances haven't come as readily as others (in the org nor in the world) and this guy comes along and they are enjoying each other...so whether it lasts or not, doesn't matter. She is HAPPY for now, and that makes me happy. She has a social life, she has someone to TALK about, she has someone to go out with - so I cna't fault her for living that way.
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Even though I'm OUT of the JWs - I still feel a lil guilty! (help)
by babygirl30 inout of all the 'friends' i had while in the jws, only a few (4) still have contact with me - 2 of them being very close to me to this day.
one of these girls is about 6yrs older then me, so she has always been my 'big sis' so to speak!
anyhow she and her mom are jws and they live together, but are very 'relaxed' in their stance against me in that when i go out of town (which is on a regular basis) my gf will stay at my place to #1-get my mail, and #2-get a break from being up under her mom everyday!
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babygirl30
Out of all the 'friends' I had while in the JWs, only a few (4) still have contact with me - 2 of them being VERY close to me to this day. One of these girls is about 6yrs older then me, so she has always been my 'big sis' so to speak! Anyhow she and her mom are JWs and they live together, but are very 'relaxed' in their stance against ME in that when I go out of town (which is on a regular basis) my gf will stay at my place to #1-get my mail, and #2-get a break from being up under her mom everyday!
Long story short, my gf has met and befriended a 'non-JW' guy and they are now a couple!!! Now because I don't want to see this friend get hurt or in trouble (which is so ridiculous to say about a 38yr old woman...getting in 'trouble' like some child) I forewarned her about seeing this man! Don't ask me what came over me, but because she is sitll 'in' the org and I don't want to see anything bad happen to her - I figured that I would just talk to her about being careful, not going TOO far with this guy, not getting her emotions all caught up, etc. Needless to say, she and this man get 'invovled' (ahem...) and for the past 2 mos I have been out of town on trips and have allowed her to stay at my place. She asked if her bf could be there and I have no issue with that (they stay in one of my guest rooms). Finally I come home on Sun, and my gf asks to stay until Tues!!! She kinda threw me off cause normally she clears OUT when I get back, but THIS time she asked to hang out a lil longer, which I obliged. As we talk the next day (while I'm unpacking) she tells me about how her relationship is going, and that she is tired of it being a 'secret'...her mother DID recently find out and threatened to go to the elders on her own daughter (of whom she lives with AND financially supports her)....how she is too old to be dealing with this stuff at THIS stage in her life - why can't she have a male friend? Why can't she go out in public with him? Why can't she hang out with ME in public and not be afraid of the repurcussions? I kept my mouth shut and let her vent, but then I just couldn't take it anymore - I started out with "Look girl...you know full well what the consequences are IF you get caught with this guy, and I don't want to see you go through what I did.....BUT......you have to understand that my reasons for NOT going back are exactly the questions you are now asking! I read C.of C. and see things so much clearer now. I don't want to sit here and tell you about what I've read or even for 1 min think that I 'influenced' you in anyway from what you choose to believe, but everything we were taught is NOT 100% Biblical - and to me that is NOT good enough." She looked at me with a blank stare, bowed her head and said "I know...I know it's mostly man-made" and she caught me off guard!! There was a moment of silence where we just stood staring at each other, and I got uncomfortable and continued unpacking. BUT she kept talking, and asking more questions, and I DID answer her - but not straightforward answers, kinda 'general' ones.
Point is (guess it wasn't as short as I thought I could make it) ... I feel guilty to some degree. It's one thing that I have been convinced of what the JWs are about, but I still have this 'weird' feeling of doing something WRONG by talking to her (an active JW) about what I've learned about the org. Is that normal???? I don't even know why I feel like this. Like I'm betraying someone or something...and I've been OUT for over 1yr now!
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HOW I GOT IN, THEN OUT, OF THE SEWER
by undertheradar ini was replying to flippers re: did you exit the witnesses due to injustices/differences with doctrine - both?
and i found myself writing my experience and it got a bit long so i am posting here.
i am sorry i cant tell you my story more specifically but we have been front-page news in our area to do with our beliefs and some of the steps i have taken more recently to show my disgust at the injustices have been unique so it would be easy to recognise me.
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babygirl30
Very well written story! Welcome...and thanks for sharing.
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Jw`s and Charities
by zzaphod inhi all, i left the wts in the late `80s, i`ve not really given them a thought, until one sleepless night recently i was trawling the `tinterweb, and came across various videos on youtube.
anyway`s, the reasons i left were many and varied, and one day i`ll sit down and relate them, but two things have always stuck in my mind, once i was asked "if someone could convince you that without a doubt "the truth" was wrong, would you believe them?
", to which i answered "of course i would", - that was me marked.
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babygirl30
AT my old job, they made a BIG deal out of donating to United Way. So much so, they when you were hired they had a special form that you signed stating exactly how much out of your pay you wanted them to directly take OUT biweekly and give to UW!! Every 3 mos they had a 'drive' to earn more money (book sales, bake sales, walk-a-thons) and back THEN - I thought this was extremely greedy!!!! AT the time I was still a JW and my mother always told me that charities were a waste of money, most of the money went to 'salaries of the workers' NOT the actual charity, and that the money was only a 'temporary fix for what God's kingdom would fix forever'! So I would thumb my nose at all those people asking for donations and volunteering their time for their charities of choice.
...then I got my ass kicked by my abusive ex (a JW mind u) and it was recommended by my therapist that I attend FREE support 'group' mtgs for women who were survivors of domestic violence at the local shelter/coalition in my area. When I told my mother about this, and how GOOD I felt after going to my 1st mtg and being around others who had gone through the same things I did - she about had a nervous breakdown!!! TOld me I needed to rely more on Jehovah. The elders inquired on my 'recovery' from what had happened and I too admitted that 75% of my emotional health was being regained through this group for victims...they nicely reminded me that it wasn't 'mans' help that I needed but to strengthen my relationship with Jehovah in order for me to 'get better', and that I needed to pray and study more. Uh huh...........yeah...........ok............whatever. I continued going to the groups, and now over a year later, am joining their BOARD as an active member so that I can give back and am also taking the position where I will be actively SPEAKING against DV in the community!! I cant justify using their services, credit them for helping me get my life back on track (when the org tossed me OUT by DFing me) - then walk away without so much as even a 'thanks'. They helped ME, and so I now feel no guilt in helping others be it with my time or finances. Its the least I can for what was given to me.
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Odd CO talk...ever hear anything like this?
by sir82 inhad our co visit last month.
normally the guy has all the charisma and charm of ben stein from "ferris buhler's day off", but he managed to give a talk that was actually coherent one night.. here is the rough outline:.
the theme was about the difference between "justice", "mercy", and "undeserved kindness".. situation 1: adam and eve sinned.
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babygirl30
I remember this talk almost 2yrs ago!!!!!!! (Bro Burdine - who has the personality of a SNAIL) and it really confused the HELL outta me between the differnce of mercy and undeserved kindness.....to this DAY I don't get it. The one thing I DO recall most is that the said Jehovah would not extend 'mercy' to Adam and Eve because they were 'perfect' and so they would NOT qualify for the resurrection! That blew my mind.