babygirl30

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Posts by babygirl30

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  209

  My Family

  by alice.in.wonderland in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  to those that have accused me of insensitivity about abuse:.

  my father and his brother and sisters were raised by a man who became rich in the 1950s.

  he owned a construction company during a housing boom in a metropolitan area.

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  babygirl30
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  209

  My Family

  by alice.in.wonderland in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  to those that have accused me of insensitivity about abuse:.

  my father and his brother and sisters were raised by a man who became rich in the 1950s.

  he owned a construction company during a housing boom in a metropolitan area.

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  babygirl30

  I have learned (through the years of ABUSE that I suffered) that the people who are THE MOST JUDGEMENTAL about others suffering - usually (90% of the time) have 'suffered' themselves the same way, and they are either ashamed or angry about the 'suffering' they dealt with, and in return, project those feelings onto OTHERS by judging them and their situations.

  Granted I am no longer a victim, but I'll be damned if I read/hear someone ELSES story of abuse and give them point blank and judgemental responses! The way to endear people is to get on THEIR level and have compassion - not judgement. So Alice, I don't know you personally nor do I know whether or not your story is true. But IF it is, then I'm sorry you went through that...but recognize that in place of compassion, YOU now have turned that abusive behavior onto others.
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  30

  Today is my 2yr Anniversary of being OUT of JWs - honoring it with a letter! (long)

  by babygirl30 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  today is my 2yr anniversary since being df'd - and my life has changed a lot!!!

  this is a letter i wrote to my parents...i did see/talk to them in feb when i had my surgery, but of course as it goes, now that i'm 'better' - they are back to shunning me.

  so this was sent to them both, so that they understood that despite all the jw bull ish, and how they are treating me now - i'm ok and happy!

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  babygirl30

  imissmaine / truthseekeriam / laverite

  Thanks for the responses - I really TRULY appreciate that!!! But, unfortunately I heard NOTHING from them at all. No 'thank you'...no response at all. Matter-a-fact, I recently had to email my aunts/uncles in order to find out how my parents are DOING currently! It's pathetic, I know, but I was thinking about them and wondered about their well being. Learned that my sister moved to NCarolina for a job, and with that, took my lil niece with her - so THAT means my folks are suffering because THEY took care of the baby most of the time (my sister is mentally ill) and that lil baby was where they turned all their attention and time. Now that she's gone, who knows, MAYBE my folks will suddenly try to reach out to me...but, I'm not getting my hopes up!
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  21

  It will never end...

  by mrsjones5 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm gonna try and make this short.

  my husband blocked all of my parents's numbers (home and cell) from calling our house.

  he did because they were continuing to say and repeat stupid stuff and stressing me out further than what i'm already stressed and they're trying to suing the property management of our apartment to retrieve monies that we had agreed to repay them (the property manager called us about it).. hubby has had enough.

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  babygirl30

  I'm still surprised at how much my parents' issues continue to effect me in adulthood.

  AMEN! This is part of the reason why i'm IN therapy...as even though I am 32yrs old and have been OUT of my parents house for sometime physically - EMOTIONALLY there is a 'hold' on my thoughts/perceptions/feelings that I continue to give them - and it makes me so angry.

  mrsjones5 - I'm sorry that your parents are treating you with SUCH disrespect! They act that way because you won't back down, you know that right? It's like withoholding alcohol from a drunk - they will flip out on you!! Same with controlling parents - they will start trippin when you stand up to them or don't play into their games/attitude. Stay STRONG girl!
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  30

  Did you ever know any JW's/Pioneers who frequented popular nightspots and got drunk?

  by James_Slash in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it used to make me sick at these hypocrites.. they would be at the meeting the next day or out in field service, obviously still intoxicated from the night before but putting a show on before the congregation.

  i knew a couple of girls who would be regulary doing this over a weekend yet they would be pioneers all week, answering up at the meetings yet would be heading into popular nightspots and coming home at 4am drunk.

  their dad was an elder (surprise, surprise).. i remember telling an elder about this once.

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  babygirl30

  There was this 'holier then thou' family where all 3 of the girls (ages 17-23) were 'regular pioneers' and loved BRAGGING about it! They hailed from NY (thinking they sat at the right hand of God I guess) would look down on some of the other young sisters who either didn't put as much time in, didn't pioneer, or weren't in their 'clicque'. Anyways, these girls basically SHUNNED me way before I was even DF'd because they saw me out with worldly folk...hahahaha...and because I went to the elders on thier brother (for hitting on me inappropriately). As these fake-ass chicks usually do, they thumbed their nose and gossiped about me after I was DFd. But about 6 mos out, I was at a club with a date, and WHO is there but a bunch of JW 'pioneers' these girls included. Droppin it like it's HOT...drinks in the hand...shakin it ON some random guys there!!!!! They kept trying to avoid me, but I made SURE they saw me and knew I saw THEM. Needless to say they ran out the club quick...
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  38

  Reinstatement-Curent elders please reply

  by truthlover in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  while being reinstated several months ago -- no restriction were given other than no commenting - service was allowed - getting over the average for the cong, not missing meetings - its been months now and the brother met recently with someof the jc members - they praised his hours and meeting attendance but because his lessons are not completely underlined, and he does make notes during the meeting, he has not been allowed to still make comments and become a fully active member of the congregation as they say this note taking is causing a problem with other members of the congregation.. have you even heard of anything so off the wall?

  is this the way its done in most cong??

  he thought if someone was interested enough to listen and make notes of a good point in their mags, it would be something to be referred to in the future... i know i have seen folks doing this while the lesson is being read.... .

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  babygirl30

  Pitchess Co-Gen

  YEP! I was told when I was DF'd that the society had changed the policy and that being out (6) mos was NOT gonna happen. Apparently, they feel that 6 mos is too short, and that a LOT of those reinstated in 6 mos end up being DF'd again...thus (in their minds) not 'learning' their lesson and making a mockery of the arrangement. So, it's now btwn 9-12mos EXPECTED. When they told me that, I figured it wasn't worth my time..
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  14

  If Someone Tells You They Will Call You At A Certain Time And They Don't....

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how does that affect you?.

  it ticks me off if i'm waiting for a call and i stop myself from doing something only to not have the person keep the commitment..

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  babygirl30

  This is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves...when someone says they are going to do something - and they don't! UGH!!! To me, by them NOT doing what they said, they are assuming that their time is more important than mine!!!!!
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  12

  Is this workplace harassment?

  by babygirl30 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i work in pa at a fortune 500 co. the manager i currently have is lazy, has no backbone, and is completely incompetent!

  this is not just my personal opinion either - it is a running 'joke' amongst the entire dept of this man's managerial skills (or lack thereof).

  so much so that even the other managers will make comments about my manager inability to properly perform his job...so this is what i'm dealing with.. being a very straightforward person, i find that being upfront about issues/situations seems to make things easier.

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  babygirl30

  As a black woman...I DARE anyone to 'single' ME out the WRONG way! LOL!!! Shoot.

  Now if I'm not doing my job, taking off all the time, not performing up to company standards, and/or am flat out disrespectful - then FINE! But I refuse to have anyone come at me like THAT...as if he's my daddy or something. HELL no. My only concern is that he will retaliate - mess up my commission, write me up for something menial, etc. THAT is something I have to think about, I'm sure. Guessing that this manager's job is on the LINE as there have been numerous complaints about him (on record) and he is acting very DESPERATE these days...
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  39

  Did you ever try any of the awkward, and somewhat creepy suggestions in the KM for Informal Witnessing?

  by miseryloveselders in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the august km, has an article entitled, "you can witness informally!

  " this week's service meeting will cover half of the 13 questions.

  next week, congregations will finish the article along with a box full of several experiences with successful results from informal witnessing.

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  babygirl30

  I knew a sister that was bold - TOO BOLD for her own good! She took informal witnessing to the point of harassment - and it was embarassing. For instance, we would do 'parking lot' witnessing, and she would run UP to people's cars, knock ON the window, and then try to preach!! Mind you, the area we were in was 'hood' and these people would damn near slap her for even touching their cars, let alone roll up on them like that. I used to secretly PRAY someone would slap her...just so I could laugh!
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  12

  Is this workplace harassment?

  by babygirl30 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i work in pa at a fortune 500 co. the manager i currently have is lazy, has no backbone, and is completely incompetent!

  this is not just my personal opinion either - it is a running 'joke' amongst the entire dept of this man's managerial skills (or lack thereof).

  so much so that even the other managers will make comments about my manager inability to properly perform his job...so this is what i'm dealing with.. being a very straightforward person, i find that being upfront about issues/situations seems to make things easier.

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  babygirl30

  I work in PA at a Fortune 500 Co. The manager I currently have is lazy, has no backbone, and is completely incompetent! This is not just MY personal opinion either - it is a running 'joke' amongst the entire dept of this man's managerial skills (or lack thereof). So much so that even the other managers will make comments about my manager inability to properly perform his job...so this is what I'm dealing with.

  Being a very straightforward person, I find that being upfront about issues/situations seems to make things easier. This manager has a habit of being WAY too familiar with me...and I have told him numerous times that I'm 'not the one' to even GO othere with. Nothing sexual or anything, just very touchy and makes remarks trying to be funny...when they're not. Anyhow, since that conversation, I feel he has singled me out (from the team) as a target: very critical of my sales presentations (even though I hit my daily goal), he repeatedly ignores the fact that I stay late everyday and do NOT count the extra time - yet he will question my dedication, he 'inadvertently' misfiled my short term disability paperwork months ago when I was out for surgery - causing my pay to be miscalculated and forcing me to PAYBACK large amounts out of my checks to correct HIS error, he misrepresented the commission scale upon my return - which led to my NOT getting the appropriate credit for my sales, and despite my requesting a vac day (over 5 days in advance - co policy), he will give me a hard time about and try to persuade me NOT to take it or else he will deny it...yet others he will give that same day off to.

  Recently, I was sick and informed my manager (through email) I would not be in. He called me back to confirm my notice, and proceeding to ask me: what was wrong with me...what pain I had...did I have pain or swelling...was I taking pain meds...did I go to the dr? I told him I felt THAT was personal, and that I was going back to rest, then hung up. The next day I still was sick, so I called my mgr to tell him I would not be in one more day. He then prodded me about whether or not I could come in for at least 1/2 day to 'help out the team'? I told him I would consider, but not likely. That afternoon (12:24 according to my cell) I get a phone call - but I was half alseep, so I ignored it. About 5 mins later (12:29) I get another call - I ignored that one too. Now 10 mins after that (12:39) my phone goes off AGAIN - and it's my manager!! So I get up and answer, and he says to me: "The prof world is small, and rumor has it that you have another job/ I have 2 reliable sources who told me that you do. Is that true?" To which I responded NO. He continues, "Well, I need to know because I want to have a strong dedicated sales team with me - knowing everyone is 100% on board! If you don' thave a job, are you actively searching for one?" By now I was offended and told him that this was inappropriate and VERY unprofessional on his part - besides, I was off work and SICK! If he wanted to speak to me, he could wait until I returned to the office...otherwise, he had no right interrogating me this way at this time!! Mind you, all calls are recorded AND he placed all 4 calls from a company phone. I told him I was going, and hung up. This man called BACK a 4th time (12:55) and this time, my boyfriend answered and basically told my mgr that this was officially 'harassment and against ANY company Code of Conduct'. After calming down, I filed a formal complaint with HR and so they are scheduling an investgation/mtg today at 4:30i.

  What should I expect? Should I get my phone records? Do I need any documentation from my boyfriend as a 'witness' (even though that call was taped)? I want to make sure I'm NOT making a mountain out of a molehill here...am I?