Posts by babygirl30

51

Lost on how to respond...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

so an old friend of mine from the congregation hit me up today.

the story goes like this when we were jw's:.

- this guy used to be madly in love with me but i didn't see him as anything more than a friend.

I had to take the evening just to think of a response because I wanted so badly to lash out at him. But it wouls be misplaced, as he is what I used to be - a drone. This guy has wanted to get married, have a family, and be an elder his whole life...and only the elder appointment has been whats come ti fruition. This is a very smart, kind, and decent brother - who is now in his mid 40s and still single (may/may not be a virgin) to this day.

In a way, I feel sorry for him - more then anger. Because he is stuck. I knew it back when we were friends and he proved it now...same situation. At the very least I can say Ive grown as a person, formed a persona outside the org, and have become a very independent woman and loving friend. But as was said, I have learned I dont need to give any explanations about my choices and decisions...so thank you all for cosigning my email back to him. I was conflicted for a split second, but not anymore.

51

Lost on how to respond...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

so an old friend of mine from the congregation hit me up today.

the story goes like this when we were jw's:.

- this guy used to be madly in love with me but i didn't see him as anything more than a friend.

babygirl30

So after some thought, I just HAD to respond, and here is what I said....

"So let this be MY one time I speak on things...

I knew you for years. Whether I am a JW or not, whether I ever come back or not - I am still someone you called a 'friend'. If in 8yrs of not speaking or seeing each other, the ONLY thing you can say to me is not (how are you) or even (are you ok) - but telling me how I need to come back because Ive been out long enough...then I have to question the genuiness of your concern as a whole. You were a nice guy, a hard worker, and a good friend. But these passing years have shown me that a lot of familal love/friendships were conditional, and I have no need for that in my life at this age.

So thank you for 'worrying' and for the record I am doing well, Im happy, and I enjoy the life I have chosen. All in all, I appreciate the concern.... 😆"

51

Lost on how to respond...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

so an old friend of mine from the congregation hit me up today.

the story goes like this when we were jw's:.

- this guy used to be madly in love with me but i didn't see him as anything more than a friend.

babygirl30

Now, just as it was important all those years ago for you to realize I was not into you, you need to also realize I am not into jw.org. All the same, thanks for your belated offer - but the answer is, 'No, thanks!' Best wishes, [babygirl30]!"

I'm CRYING over this one!!!! That actually sounds like something I would say to someones FACE (as I am a very blunt b*tch at times)! -hahahaha. I love it.

51

Lost on how to respond...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

so an old friend of mine from the congregation hit me up today.

the story goes like this when we were jw's:.

- this guy used to be madly in love with me but i didn't see him as anything more than a friend.

babygirl30

He liked my tail lights WAY too much for me to throw that in his face! -hahahaha.

51

Lost on how to respond...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

so an old friend of mine from the congregation hit me up today.

the story goes like this when we were jw's:.

- this guy used to be madly in love with me but i didn't see him as anything more than a friend.

babygirl30

I think the part that bothers me the most is the "I worry about you"...I want to respond "FOH...how worried have you been that you have not once reached out to see if I'm ALIVE in 8yrs?" I don't think they hear themselves when they write this mess. Common sense should apply. But it's seriously lacking...

And using my family as a ploy also does not work. My own father ignored me right in front of our entire extended family at our summer reunion - do you think HE cares about me? NOPE! So trying to manipulate me by throwing their 'love' in the mix will only do the opposite for drawing me back. - hahahaha

51

Lost on how to respond...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

so an old friend of mine from the congregation hit me up today.

the story goes like this when we were jw's:.

- this guy used to be madly in love with me but i didn't see him as anything more than a friend.

babygirl30

That's where I am STUCK - he really did throw in a lil emotional 'hook' and I am the type that just cannot let that slide! I HAVE to respond...but I want to be smart about it, instead of my usual snarky ass self! And that's why I'm posting...to get some ideas on how how to respond yet get my point across.

51

Lost on how to respond...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

so an old friend of mine from the congregation hit me up today.

the story goes like this when we were jw's:.

- this guy used to be madly in love with me but i didn't see him as anything more than a friend.

babygirl30

I like that...but this guy is a born-in like myself, who doesn't understand that kind of frank speech! -hahaha

51

Lost on how to respond...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

so an old friend of mine from the congregation hit me up today.

the story goes like this when we were jw's:.

- this guy used to be madly in love with me but i didn't see him as anything more than a friend.

babygirl30

So an old friend of mine from the congregation hit me up today. The story goes like this when we were JW's:

- this guy used to be madly in love with me but I didn't see him as anything more than a friend

- we tried 'dating' but I quickly ended it after about 3wks, again, because I wasn't into him like that

- he continued to pursue me and/or stay a close friend years later

- when I was DF'd he cried...

Now I've been out for 8yrs now and have never heard from this guy. I found out that one of his siblings had passed and I sent him an email a year ago to offer my condolences. He responded TODAY like this:

Just opened this email I haven't looked at it in 3 years. This will be the one time, that I will speak about it. But I worry about you. You have been gone a long time. If I bumped into you out somewhere... I would say the same thing.

Don't you think its time to come back? I know it wont be easy, but face it this world is getting worse and worse and you have family and friends and Jehovah that still cares what happens to you. Seriously take that into consideration. No matter what you have done Jehovah has the ability to forgive you.

I am at a loss for words - oddly enough. Typically when any of my old JW friends hit me up with this malarky, I will respond with a short explanation of WHY I won't come back. But with this one, he is now an elder (was gunning for it back when we were hanging out) and so I know my usual response will NOT be well received. What can I say 'in kind' that won't be too preachy, but will get my point across that I am GOOD?????

13

The JW Elder Who Started All the Insanity that was bound to eventually start. This Elder Loves Trouble!

by ReligionOfHatred in

in order to understand what is happening you have to start from the beginning of our saga.

about nine years ago a elder with asperger's syndrome found out my family member almost came to blows with our next door neighbor who is so successful, he probably makes $2 million a year net-income with all his businesses and investments.

the co-owner of the property got angry because our neighbor did not like certain breeds of dogs, the fact was he was mauled by the breed elder bucket-head owned and elder bucket-head refused to fix the fence and so his dog would continually show up on my neighbors front door harassing his little dogs and growl.. elder asperger's heard my dad and his friend talking about uncle bucket-head's near blows even though they were whisphering at book study, his ears are good when it comes to seeking out sin and finding ways to bring brothers before the elders.

babygirl30

Sounds like a crazy story...at least what I could piece together. No offense, but it is written all over the place, in a sense.

But from what I could gather, this brother with Aspergers IS a problem! Sadly, when it comes to that type of disorder, there isnt any reasoning with them. What gets in their head sticks in their head (like you said)...and they each have a particular 'subject' they become obsessed with. You mentioned chess and then of course his incessant tattling, that must be his obsession - judicial order. On one hand you gotta feel bad for him, but on the other hand, the lack of emotional feelings must make him like HELL to deal with.

20

Humanism and Witnisam.

by The Rebel in

jw
friends

well it seems for many on this board the time came to leave the w.t and cross the bridge in to a real world.

speaking for myself l feel i did not enter the cold and lonely world i was lead to believe i was entering.

rather i have discovered it was no great loss leaving a world that had protected me with false, dreams, fantazy and false promises.. but what have i really achieved by my leaving that i value?.

babygirl30

Like most have said, it wasnt until being on the outside looking in (DF'd), that I began to understand how it felt to be ME. So I wholeheartedly agree with everything the other posters said! To be able to feel, to not be so scared to try new things, to be whoever I want to be - all of that is priceless. I said it before and will say it till the day I die: people outside of the org will never ever understand the mental and emotional torment we dealt with as JWs. And it is sometimes embarrassing to try to explain it...because there are so many layers to the abuse of our minds, that it sounds crazy. But the freedom is something I never take for granted.