goldensky

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Posts by goldensky

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  68

  Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

  by goldensky in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

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  goldensky

  Dear all,

  I'm back in Madrid (I've missed you!). I've just reread all the thread and I thank you all for your comments. It felt good to realize some of you -even women like Robdar and White Dove- could, at least to some extent, relate to my points of view.

  I kept thinking about this subject over the weekend. In the last ten years especially I've told my husband a few times he is free as far as I'm concerned to have adventures if he so wishes, as long as he doesn't tell me or, if he absolutely feels compelled to let me know, at least spare me the details -not because it would hurt me, just because it doesn't interest me-. It wouldn't be hard for him to find other sexual partners: he's tall, has a beautiful body (he loves sports), is a very successful businessman full of initiative and courage (mind you, I can just as quickly draw his list of defects). He says to me there are of course younger girls that he would certainly enjoy going to bed with, but that he already had as many women as he could before he married me -22 years ago- (he's never been a witness) and sex with any of them can't compare to what he feels when we make love due to his deep feelings for me. Also that even if I grant him that freedom, he would still feel awful about it. Fair enough.

  It's not that I'm intent on him having sex with somebody else. What I'd really love is to have the freedom to have sex only when I feel like it, and not for his sake. I don't even know what my real sexual needs are, since I've never had a long enough "vacation". If his having freedom to satisfy his needs elsewhere grants me my wish to decide when I want to make love without feeling I'm "holding it back" from it, I'm more than willing to grant him these liberties. But he still won't.

  Oh well. I have to leave you now, because my husband is urging me to put my son to bed so we can "enjoy the rest of the evening together". I wonder what he means by that... Ha, ha! See you tomorrow everybody.
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  68

  Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

  by goldensky in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  goldensky

  Paul, thanks for sharing so much with us. I have to hurry now, but I'll be back to you, maybe by PM
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  68

  Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

  by goldensky in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  goldensky

  Dear Rabbit, I have loved your post. I fully relate to everything you said. I hate jealousy, I don't consider I own my husband any more than he owns me. He's fully devoted to me, too much for my independent spirit. Since I don't want a freak by my side, but a normal man -and to me normalcy means that my husband can find other women attractive-, I encourage that by pointing other women out to him -otherwise he won't even notice them- (friends of mine, girls at his workplace, women we cross in the street) and trying to get him to appreciate their attractiveness in different fields. I feel good when I get to arouse some interest in him for those other ladies, but he always ends up smiling and saying he likes me better. As for me, I have at least three male friends (one of them being my brother) and three female friends (my sister is one of them) with whom I can have far more meaningful conversations than with him. When any of them are around, he feels relieved from the hard chore of following my -to him- complicated line of thought and my probing questions. In the field of sex, he is a man with quite a strong sex drive, whereas me, at 49, would be quite content to be left alone for three days in a row (although I do my best to please him). It would be a real relief to me if he sometimes came home with his "homework" done. I know this will horrify practically everybody, but that's the way I feel. Yet he is a great husband and father and I'm glad he's the man I've chosen. Because that's what true marital happiness means to me: waking up every morning and deciding one more day he is the one I want to spend today with, in spite of his flaws and the voids and needs other men can fill better than him. And I want him to accept that I can find other men very attractive sometimes without feeling threatened.

  I have to leave for a three-day long weekend. Love to everyone.
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  68

  Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

  by goldensky in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  goldensky

  That male brain is fun, Donny. I just sent it to my sister. I'd like to see the female brain now. I bet I'd crack up too!
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  33

  Dating a JW :-(

  by MIADanny in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been dating a jw for 2 years now and everything has been going great other than the fact that she is in a cult.

  she at first tried to convince me to join but she quickly realized i wasnt believer.

  in this age of information i just dont see how so many people can fall victim to this religion.

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  goldensky

  I must agree with Nugget that my husband made all the compromises...
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  33

  Dating a JW :-(

  by MIADanny in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been dating a jw for 2 years now and everything has been going great other than the fact that she is in a cult.

  she at first tried to convince me to join but she quickly realized i wasnt believer.

  in this age of information i just dont see how so many people can fall victim to this religion.

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  goldensky

  Come on... Do you all have to be so radical? I've been married for 22 years, 21 of which I was a staunch witness whereas he just wasn't religious at all but let me do my own thing, and our marriage has been quite enjoyable so far.
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  122

  Me, the WT, and the "Separating Work"...

  by AGuest in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  may you all have peace!.

  a little while ago a dear one referred to my trip to "bethel" and discussion with carey barber.

  he asked if he could read them.

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  goldensky

  "I have read this thread four times now, and I don't understand anything about this thread at all", JWoods said (how do you do it guys, framing so nicely what others have said?).

  Thank you, JWoods! I feel much better now.

  And I won't have a clear conscience if I don't say this: I find the criticism OntheWayOut has received on this thread to be appaling, totally unjustified and plain crazy. He makes total sense to me.
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  68

  Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

  by goldensky in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

  1. 
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  goldensky

  White Dove, may I ask if you are woman? Sorry.
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  68

  Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

  by goldensky in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

  1. 
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  goldensky

  Dear Carla, I enjoyed your post very much and it got me thinking. You are right, you know? That "oneness" you once enjoyed (and that I hope you will regain) is a feeling few humans are granted to experience, in my opinion. I'm not talking about the period of time when you are in love (we all know what that's like: ecstasy), I'm talking about maintaining that feeling or something very similar once the novelty wears off. I read a few months ago a doctor had carried out a study from which he drew the conclusion that some people manage to remain "in love", to maintain the "oneness" throughout a lifetime, but that only happened to a very small percentage of the population. The doctor himself mentioned he "envied" those rare people, because although he enjoyed a very warm relationship with his wife, he knew he didn't reach those heights. In such a case, of course I agree it would be a "crime" to break it, but then who would even feel the slightest inclination toward anybody else if he was totally absorbed and felt in nearly perfect fusion with the other one? And even in this case, would sexual unfaithfulness be more "delictive" than other "crimes" like flirting with somebody else even without touching him/her? I still see no difference.

  Sorry if I'm not making myself understood. This is a very delicate subject.
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  68

  Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

  by goldensky in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  goldensky

  Spot-on again, Cyberjesus (with all my respect of course towards those who consider my thinking outrageous, utterly immoral or just extravagant).