Thanks OTWO, yes now officially. But for everthing that has happened, I was not caught by suprise. I can think the fine folks on this forum for that knowledge.
maninthemiddle
JoinedPosts by maninthemiddle
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Interview with an Apostate: Maninthemiddle
by maninthemiddle ini live in the us, married, one child.
third gen on my side.. my forum named was chosen when i first work up and felt stuck between my wife and the religion.. .
were you a born in or a convert?.
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Interview with an Apostate: Maninthemiddle
by maninthemiddle ini live in the us, married, one child.
third gen on my side.. my forum named was chosen when i first work up and felt stuck between my wife and the religion.. .
were you a born in or a convert?.
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maninthemiddle
Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
I live in the US, Married, one child. Third Gen on my side.
My forum named was chosen when I first work up and felt stuck between my wife and the religion.
Were you a born in or a convert?
Both Born-in
Are your parents / family JWs?
Both parents (3 if you countmy Dad's Divoce and remarriage) and In-laws.
How many generations have been JWs?
Only 1 they just overlap, wait I see what you did there.
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
Was MS for a while, move to another cong and never got asked again.
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
I think I did. I'm not sure. at least I didn't feel it strongly.
Did you get baptised? When and why?
I did, at age 19 no less, unusual for born-ins.
I thought of it as something I was supposed to do. it didn't help that if I wasn't I wouldn't be able to date in the org.
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
My son was born under difficult circumstances and we saw no care from the cong.
Although it was really my trying to be "more faithful" after he was here that led me to research and "study" more.
This just leads to more questions when trying to make sense of the doctrine.
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
I read secular sources first. Mostly internet, trying to see what generic christanity had to say about topics that JWs normally shun, for example birthdays.
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
Painful in the long careful attempt to show things to my wife without trigger thought blocking.
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
Was careful and quiet for a long time. Only recently did it become dramatic when family turned on me.
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
Convince? I was able to show my wife things slowly and get her to think about the problems with the teachings.
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
Our marriage was strained for a while, even after my wife learned TTATT, from family pressure.
We are now experiencing issues with our familes.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
By friends, immediately, by family it took a while, but shunning mode is up to about 80% for immediate family over %100 for extended family.
How long have you now been out?
6 years or more since I last turned in FS time, 5 years since my last meeting, 2 years since my last memorial.
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
I left because I could not raise my son I the org, so in that respect, I looked forward to giving him birthday parties and holidays.
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
I don’t know what I have achieved yet.
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
Not really, I had a few people I liked, but they proved to not be real friends.
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
Not so far. I think reality is awesome.
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
I tried to learn more about Christianity, research a lot about the bible, in the end I found it lacking.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
I don’t thoroughly hate it, but I dislike it. I have defended those Christians who put actions behind their words.
I know a couple that does mission trips, and most of what they do there is help sick people and build houses.
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
No. Maybe in the past, but not now. Having never done those things sometimes I do feel awkward, I still have a lot to learn.
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
Yes, absolutely, love them. Even going out of state once.
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
Several Ex-Jws, several are extended family.
Also have several ex-mormon friends. They completely understand our issues, and we have a lot to share.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
Very rarely. We do have a very close family that left a controlling church, and a couple of others from my son’s school who know what happened. They know our struggle and I look forward to the day a JW shows up at their door.
I’ve told one person at work about the issues it has cause my family. He in turn told me about a family issue for him that has caused a similar rift, but is not related to religion.
It made me feel more normal, we all have problems, not all of them are related to JW. I feel like I still have some things to learn about life.
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
Pity more than anything else. My animosity is reserved for the GB and the three elders that lied to my family.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
Hasn’t happened yet, and probably won’t anytime soon.
But I plan on being polite.
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
I favor support simply because I don’t feel that activism works. (triggers thought blocking). I would love to picket the KH or convention, but I don’t think it would accomplish anything.
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
I think the internet is best, be there for them when they start questioning, I don’t think you can shake someone awake. Things like picketing just drives the persecution complex.
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
It will have to change, but how I don’t know. The internet is already hurting them, but I don’t see them going away completely. The currently young generation is smarter than the GB.
I have started to see a generation of people for whom the religion is more social club.
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
I never had “higher education” beyond being homeschooled. I did not plan for my future. I am in a position to provide that for my son, so that is my choice now.
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
For crushing my aspirations as a young person, yes. (Armageddon will be here before you graduate)
I had no answer for “what to you want to be when you grow up?”, I feel if you don’t start dreaming at a young age, you never will.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
Maybe in the middle, locking someone in the basement will protect them, but is moral or useful? I certainly never made anything of myself education-wise, but I’m OK now.
I fell very socially inept now, friends were easy in the congregation, when there are only three kids your age, you don’t have a choice. And when one of those kids leaves the “truth” and you are forced to cut ties, you don’t learn how to make real friends or even be a real friend.
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
I spend it with my wife and son. Saturdays are sleeping in, video games and riding bikes, Sunday is family breakfast.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
Enough that I still read JWN and other site. Although I’m more looking for people who may live in the area and want to join our meetup. Since I have family in I try to keep up with changes.
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
Very little except for this website. I still like the ex-JW meetups.
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
Everyone I have meet have been wonderful. I meet a couple of “famous” (infamous) youtubers, and even people I used to know as a JW.
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
Not really. I hope to ne an ex-Ex-JW soon, but that will probably be after my parents pass.
Do you fear the future?
Yes, some, but I also have a lot of hope for it. My son will have opportunities I never imagined.
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
If you are married then take the advice I received, open up slowly and don’t overwhelm you spouse.
Consider your own situation, if you are young or singe, fading my not be worth it.
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
Question everything, even that which you think is off limits. Learn everything you can and appreciate school.
Oh, and Armageddon won’t come before you finish school, get married or have kids.
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
Not really, but someday I feel bad for myself and “what could have been”, but my wife and I are happily married and out together. We have a wonderful child, so that makes me happy.
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)
Sorry, I’m not that interesting. I don’t plan on writing anything.
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JW morale reaching new low
by kneehighmiah inmany friends i've spoken with are becoming discouraged.
because of this it's becoming tempting to privately share my views with friends, but i know this is still too dangerous.
most witnesses in my circle are intelligent free thinkers.
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maninthemiddle
The 2010 Generation change was a big wakeup call for me. Not my number 1 issue, but close to it.
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DANMERA - VIDEO
by clarity ingetting better all the time!.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tudwtmxze_a.
clarity.
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maninthemiddle
was this recording recent, as in since the release of the new NWT?
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Introduction
by Pyramid God ini'm somewhat new here, even though i've posted a few times, so i decided it was time i properly introduced myself.
i've been lurking for several months.... .
i was born into the jw and served for 21 years.
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maninthemiddle
Welcome!
Glad you made it here.
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Documentary "Truth Be Told," Showing In Atlanta, GA
by Iown Mylife incannot wait to see it, at the amc phipps plaza, tuesday, 7:30 p.m., october 29th!.
google for the ticket info..
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maninthemiddle
Wow, just this morning it didn't seem like there were going to be enough going.
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Truth Be Told Documentary
by poeticmommy ini have heard so many good things about this film and i am really hoping to see it myself!
it will be playing soon near me, in grand rapids, michigan.
if anyone else is interested in attending the link is below!
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maninthemiddle
One last bump for the EDT, tomorrow is the deadline for Atlanta.
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Confusedandalone is in need of a name change
by confusedandalone inhey everyone, i want to apologize for not rtesponding to a number of messages i recieved over the last month or so.
i took a break as suggested by someone else to try and sort things out and clear my head.
my wife has been reading alot on here and kept me updated on all the fun that has been going on!.
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maninthemiddle
This part sounds like my story. My have much reason to believe my father has tried to get me DF'd last year, but no one from the congreation showed up.
" The brothers in my congregation have not called once or stopped by or sent em a text message, yet they lie to my father and tell him I refuse to contact them or return their calls."
I have also found it better to walk away. You could say I faded, but I have been honest with my family. Only my father took the attitude yours has.
To my knowldege I havenot been disfellowshipped, but I put up holiday decorations, got one letter, ignored it, (not registered letter)
I don't have time any longer to care about what they think, I have a son to take care of first.
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Do you recall your first encounter with a atheist? What was your thought?
by jam ingrowing up in the south everyone i knew believed in god, even the.
town drunk.
i remember watching some special tv program around xmas .
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maninthemiddle
I agree Giordano, where I live in the American south Atheist is just shot of a swear word.
Most people here would be more likely to call themselves non belivers or simply lie.
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From the recent video, what is the Tuxedo site used for?
by maninthemiddle ini have never heard of it before this video..
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maninthemiddle
I rewatched the video for another reason and caught the statement that sounded like they bought the property just to support Warick.
the first time I was under the impression they had this property a while and was wondering why I had never heard of it Before.
Caleb,s I was wondering how much the bethel volunteering is going to drop off when they don't have access to the city.