I think all this stuff really feeds the human need for status, respect and accomplishment. Since they aren't allowed to achieve anything on the "outside" - the only status or achievement they have an opportunity for is on the "inside". It just makes their status in the congregation that much more important to them, since it is the only way they are meeting these needs.
Thanks Dr. Maslow!
for the so-called conscious class, those of you who know it's all a disgusting lie, what is the real reason you stay in?
i find it hard to understand how ones who know what the org truly is would continue to be an active jw.
i'm not talking about the "faders"- those with an actual plan to get out as painlessly as possible.
Misery put it well...
I stay because I am not willing to lose the social ties I have. (I'm a 5th generation born-in) Right now, I haven't been to a meeting in many months, and although my mom makes regular comments, I'm not hassled too much. I live a fairly normal life - I own a business. I travel a lot for work. I'm making plans to finish my BA and apply for an MA program.
I don't have problems holding my own opinions privately. I don't have any reason to share what I think with others. The people who like me at the KH are genuinely good people, and do believe that this is The Truth. I believe that part of respecting others is allowing them to think what they want without feeling the need to burst their bubble should they be wrong. So, I keep quiet. The longer I do this, the less distress there is for me.
As long as I'm not going to the meetings, I feel fine. One other thread talked about feeling judged at the KH. That is true for me. I'm never going to fit into their expectations of what a single 38 year old woman with no children should look like. I'm not going to pioneer. I'm not pine-ing for a man. I'm not desperate or particularly lonely. I'm stable, independent, successful, and don't have a lot of personal problems. So, for now - I am flying under the radar, keeping my opinions to myself and surviving. It also helps that I am getting ready to leave to work out of town for 3 months.
I also have a nephew who is 8 years old, and comes from a very unstable home. I'm really working on having a good relationship with him so he has at least one stable person outside of his immediate family who he can turn when he needs it - and he will. If I leave, I would be essentially abandoning him to the insanity that surrounds him. I just can't do it.
I like who I am most of the time, so I'm not willing to sit for 5 hours a week listening to a tirade of things I'm not doing "right" or "could do better" or "more". The truth is, I don't care. I do believe that the JWs are right about many things. And I do believe they are wrong about just as many things. And, maybe God is using them. But I don't care. I don't care if I die, or if I get to live forever. If the real issue is the determination about Universal Soverignty - my one life is not going to make or break it. I believe God can take care of himself. And if he wants to decide that I'm not a worthy human being, well then I'm just as happy being dead - because it is a lot like sleep, and sleeping is fine by me.
DS
were you too a very judgmental person?.
did others judge you harshly?.
i know no longer being a 'believer' means that i do a lot less judging of my brothers and sisters..
I'd probably be going to a lot more meetings if I didn't feel so judged. That really is the biggest thing keeping me away. I can sit quietly and tolerate holding a difference of opinion about almost everything. But the amount of judgment that gets thrown around during a meeting - well, my tolerance for that is ZERO. So I don't go. I always feel more comfortable with people who are not JW because they are inclined to be much less judgmental and more tolerant.
I have come to terms that I will never fit into a pidgen hole for them - so I am somewhat shunned anyway. What difference does it make if I am there or not??
so, i haven't attended the meetings for many months now - getting close to a year.
i did attend some of the district assembly, and told the elder in charge of my service group that although i wasn't attending the meeting, i was listening by phone because i'm having trouble with anxiety.
(true at the time).
My only problem with that is I live in a neighborhood with more than 10 families of JW, many of whom go to my KH....any suggestions??
so, i haven't attended the meetings for many months now - getting close to a year.
i did attend some of the district assembly, and told the elder in charge of my service group that although i wasn't attending the meeting, i was listening by phone because i'm having trouble with anxiety.
(true at the time).
I really want them to just let me go...I was thinking of transferring my cards to where I'm going, and then just not let anyone know if I come back.
What do you guys think about that idea??
We've had the CO visit since I've been inactive, and they didn't do anything... plus they are busy right now with a remodel.
DS
so, i haven't attended the meetings for many months now - getting close to a year.
i did attend some of the district assembly, and told the elder in charge of my service group that although i wasn't attending the meeting, i was listening by phone because i'm having trouble with anxiety.
(true at the time).
So, I haven't attended the meetings for many months now - getting close to a year. I did attend some of the district assembly, and told the elder in charge of my service group that although I wasn't attending the meeting, I was listening by phone because I'm having trouble with anxiety. (true at the time). Now, I haven't been listening or attending the meetings - but I'm still sent (through a sister I'm friends with) the KM and my study Watchtower. I haven't turned in any time since probably February or March...
I'm going to be working out of town for a couple of months, - so I'll be interested to see where this goes. I guess in their eyes I'm not really faded...hmmm....
Any bets on how this plays out??
DS
Can I delete my name and set up another account as someone else? I don't want to be caught if someone happens across my name some how.
fourth listed on the first page leads to JWN. :-( I might change to something more ambiguous.
after reading on the way out's thread about his mom explaining the generation overlap to him it kicked this idea into my head to make this thread .
i thought it would be helpful to see if anybody here has had jw relatives or friends try to explain this " generation overlap " theory to you as a faded or inactive witness and what happened in the conversations.
so please feel free to post your experiences.
on my visit to Bethel last week, someone who has regular contact with the GB explained it to me and stated that the FDS was being careful not to be date setters, because that get's them into trouble. But that there was a need to clarify the meaning of "generation" and that it referred to a group of people who shared an experience and that it did NOT infer an unending period of time.
I mentioned to him that that it was not clear from reading the snippet in the magazine that that is what they were implying and that it seemed like the comment was sort of plopped in the middle of an unrelated article. He did not comment on that.
I told him that the subject of the generation is so deep, it would be nice to have more in depth coverage of the subject so that we could all understand the FDS' reasoning for the new understanding.
It was clear to me from my visit, that they do sincerely believe they are carrying out God's work and that there is no malice - at least in this man - ... I think they are a very imperfect set of men.
My jury is still out about whether they are really God's Channel.
DS
when i visited bethel last week, i was explaining to my friend why i only choose to hire people with bachelor degrees...they need to be well educated, professional, have a certain level of experience, etc.
her comment: "yeah, worldly people aren't used to the constant learning that we do as jehovah's witnesses.
me: "uh, yeah.
No, I haven't met Alice. What's up?
