dssynergy
JoinedPosts by dssynergy
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a christian must make a personal decision - how would this apply to birthdays?
by booby in*** g04 7/8 p. 30 from our readers ***.
pinatas i read with interest the article "the pinata-an ancient tradition.
" (september 22, 2003) it left me with some questions.
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For those still in- why do you (really) stay, and what would it take for you to leave the org?
by serenitynow! infor the so-called conscious class, those of you who know it's all a disgusting lie, what is the real reason you stay in?
i find it hard to understand how ones who know what the org truly is would continue to be an active jw.
i'm not talking about the "faders"- those with an actual plan to get out as painlessly as possible.
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dssynergy
I have to say, that Serenity's opening comments did strike me as very judgmental. Seems to me that one of the complaints that many of us share is that JWs are judgmental. I don't come here to be judged because I'm struggling with something that seems easy for others. I can go back to the KH for that.
So, don't think that because you are "out" and have no ties, that you are any more or less free than the rest of us. The reasons for staying are just as important as the reasons for leaving and there is no cut and dry answer. Even if our situations seem similar, none of us know how it feels for anyone to go through their particular experience or process. We all do it alone.
ds
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dssynergy
I think all this stuff really feeds the human need for status, respect and accomplishment. Since they aren't allowed to achieve anything on the "outside" - the only status or achievement they have an opportunity for is on the "inside". It just makes their status in the congregation that much more important to them, since it is the only way they are meeting these needs.
Thanks Dr. Maslow!
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58
For those still in- why do you (really) stay, and what would it take for you to leave the org?
by serenitynow! infor the so-called conscious class, those of you who know it's all a disgusting lie, what is the real reason you stay in?
i find it hard to understand how ones who know what the org truly is would continue to be an active jw.
i'm not talking about the "faders"- those with an actual plan to get out as painlessly as possible.
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dssynergy
Misery put it well...
I stay because I am not willing to lose the social ties I have. (I'm a 5th generation born-in) Right now, I haven't been to a meeting in many months, and although my mom makes regular comments, I'm not hassled too much. I live a fairly normal life - I own a business. I travel a lot for work. I'm making plans to finish my BA and apply for an MA program.
I don't have problems holding my own opinions privately. I don't have any reason to share what I think with others. The people who like me at the KH are genuinely good people, and do believe that this is The Truth. I believe that part of respecting others is allowing them to think what they want without feeling the need to burst their bubble should they be wrong. So, I keep quiet. The longer I do this, the less distress there is for me.
As long as I'm not going to the meetings, I feel fine. One other thread talked about feeling judged at the KH. That is true for me. I'm never going to fit into their expectations of what a single 38 year old woman with no children should look like. I'm not going to pioneer. I'm not pine-ing for a man. I'm not desperate or particularly lonely. I'm stable, independent, successful, and don't have a lot of personal problems. So, for now - I am flying under the radar, keeping my opinions to myself and surviving. It also helps that I am getting ready to leave to work out of town for 3 months.
I also have a nephew who is 8 years old, and comes from a very unstable home. I'm really working on having a good relationship with him so he has at least one stable person outside of his immediate family who he can turn when he needs it - and he will. If I leave, I would be essentially abandoning him to the insanity that surrounds him. I just can't do it.
I like who I am most of the time, so I'm not willing to sit for 5 hours a week listening to a tirade of things I'm not doing "right" or "could do better" or "more". The truth is, I don't care. I do believe that the JWs are right about many things. And I do believe they are wrong about just as many things. And, maybe God is using them. But I don't care. I don't care if I die, or if I get to live forever. If the real issue is the determination about Universal Soverignty - my one life is not going to make or break it. I believe God can take care of himself. And if he wants to decide that I'm not a worthy human being, well then I'm just as happy being dead - because it is a lot like sleep, and sleeping is fine by me.
DS
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How Were You Affected By The Judgmental Views Imposed By Jehovah's Witnesses?
by minimus inwere you too a very judgmental person?.
did others judge you harshly?.
i know no longer being a 'believer' means that i do a lot less judging of my brothers and sisters..
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dssynergy
I'd probably be going to a lot more meetings if I didn't feel so judged. That really is the biggest thing keeping me away. I can sit quietly and tolerate holding a difference of opinion about almost everything. But the amount of judgment that gets thrown around during a meeting - well, my tolerance for that is ZERO. So I don't go. I always feel more comfortable with people who are not JW because they are inclined to be much less judgmental and more tolerant.
I have come to terms that I will never fit into a pidgen hole for them - so I am somewhat shunned anyway. What difference does it make if I am there or not??
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Interesting...where do you think this is headed??
by dssynergy inso, i haven't attended the meetings for many months now - getting close to a year.
i did attend some of the district assembly, and told the elder in charge of my service group that although i wasn't attending the meeting, i was listening by phone because i'm having trouble with anxiety.
(true at the time).
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dssynergy
My only problem with that is I live in a neighborhood with more than 10 families of JW, many of whom go to my KH....any suggestions??
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Interesting...where do you think this is headed??
by dssynergy inso, i haven't attended the meetings for many months now - getting close to a year.
i did attend some of the district assembly, and told the elder in charge of my service group that although i wasn't attending the meeting, i was listening by phone because i'm having trouble with anxiety.
(true at the time).
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dssynergy
I really want them to just let me go...I was thinking of transferring my cards to where I'm going, and then just not let anyone know if I come back.
What do you guys think about that idea??
We've had the CO visit since I've been inactive, and they didn't do anything... plus they are busy right now with a remodel.
DS
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Interesting...where do you think this is headed??
by dssynergy inso, i haven't attended the meetings for many months now - getting close to a year.
i did attend some of the district assembly, and told the elder in charge of my service group that although i wasn't attending the meeting, i was listening by phone because i'm having trouble with anxiety.
(true at the time).
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dssynergy
So, I haven't attended the meetings for many months now - getting close to a year. I did attend some of the district assembly, and told the elder in charge of my service group that although I wasn't attending the meeting, I was listening by phone because I'm having trouble with anxiety. (true at the time). Now, I haven't been listening or attending the meetings - but I'm still sent (through a sister I'm friends with) the KM and my study Watchtower. I haven't turned in any time since probably February or March...
I'm going to be working out of town for a couple of months, - so I'll be interested to see where this goes. I guess in their eyes I'm not really faded...hmmm....
Any bets on how this plays out??
DS
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dssynergy
Can I delete my name and set up another account as someone else? I don't want to be caught if someone happens across my name some how.
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dssynergy
fourth listed on the first page leads to JWN. :-( I might change to something more ambiguous.