Posts by oppostate

31

Is there any humor in the bible?

by Normalfulla in

humor plays a big part in a lot of humanity and we all like a good laugh but as far as i'm aware god's supposed word has no actual humor ,of course apart from being a joke itself ,why wasn't there a passage or something like "jesus farted and giggles broke out among them " or something, is anyone aware of any notations of humor ?

all to.serious really.

oppostate

Ehud Stabs the Crap Out of Some Dude ... Literally

Ford Maddox

The Book of Judges is one you don't hear recited at weddings and baptisms a lot, mainly because the whole thing is a grisly, ugly mess, with some of the most twisted, violent murders and sex acts this side of HBO. And that's too bad, because dropped in toward the beginning is a story that seriously sounds like what would happen if the Farrelly brothers co-wrote a movie with Quentin Tarantino.

The story opens with Israel under the thumb of the Moabites, an ancient people who enjoyed conquering and enslaving other ancient peoples. God sends a hero named Ehud to save Israel, which he accomplishes by getting the king of Moab alone in a room and then stabbing the crap out of him:

Speculum Humanae Salvationis

↓

"Ehud came to him while he was sitting alone in his cool roof chamber. And Ehud said, 'I have a message from God for you.' ... Ehud ... took the sword from his right thigh and thrust it into his belly ... and the refuse came out." (Judges 3:20-22, New American Standard Bible)

"Refuse," as in "poop." Yes, Ehud literally stabbed the crap out of him. OK, but how do you escape a palace full of guards after you've just killed their king? Easy -- lock the doors, go out the window, and convince them he's pooping:

"When he had gone out, his servants came and looked, and behold, the doors of the roof chamber were locked; and they said, 'He is only relieving himself in the cool room.' They waited until they became anxious; but behold, he did not open the doors of the roof chamber. Therefore they took the key and opened them, and behold, their master had fallen to the floor dead." (Judges 3:24-25, New American Standard Bible)

31

Is there any humor in the bible?

by Normalfulla in

humor plays a big part in a lot of humanity and we all like a good laugh but as far as i'm aware god's supposed word has no actual humor ,of course apart from being a joke itself ,why wasn't there a passage or something like "jesus farted and giggles broke out among them " or something, is anyone aware of any notations of humor ?

all to.serious really.

oppostate

"Let two bulls be given to us ... And you call upon the name of your god, and I will call upon the name of the Lord, and the God who answers by fire, he is God." (1 Kings 18:23-24, English Standard Version)

C.G. PfannschmidtSo, basically, both teams have to build an altar and offer a sacrifice, then wait for their respective deities to light 'em up -- fairly standard my-god-can-beat-up-your-god stuff. Naturally, Baal fails to show up to the party, and his prophets start getting exasperated, so they proceed to do whatever they can think of to elicit a response: they limp around, they cut themselves open with spears, but Baal does nothing.

And then Elijah gets bored and unleashes the sarcasm:

"And at noon Elijah mocked them, saying, 'Cry aloud, for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.'" (1 Kings 18:27, English Standard Version)

Some versions interpret the "relieving himself" part as simply "he's busy" -- but no, it's "I bet your god hasn't shown up because he's taking a dump." The original Hebrew word is sig, which can mean "expulsion," defecation," or "bowel movement." Yep, Elijah is being about 900 percent more offensive toward those dudes' deity than Monty Python was of Jesus in Life of Brian.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, Elijah then proceeds to build his own altar and drench it in 12 buckets of water, and then God lights it up in an instant.

21

reps of the JW.0rg kiosk looking very Sea.0rg'ish

by oppostate in

amazing how cults end up looking so similar.

have you ever wondered how budhist monks and catholic monks look and behave so similarly?

or why mormons and jw religion have so many parallels?.

oppostate

This is free publicity and brand exposure for JW.0rg since the locals would have come up with the whole kit.

Betcha if the WT put it on it would not have included so many manning the display.

They look like they are just there to be seen, which seems to be the way of Witnessing these days.

21

reps of the JW.0rg kiosk looking very Sea.0rg'ish

by oppostate in

amazing how cults end up looking so similar.

have you ever wondered how budhist monks and catholic monks look and behave so similarly?

or why mormons and jw religion have so many parallels?.

oppostate

Amazing how cults end up looking so similar. Have you ever wondered how Budhist monks and Catholic monks look and behave so similarly? Or Why Mormons and JW religion have so many parallels?

Here's reps of the JW.0rg kiosk looking very Sea.0rg'ish

https://www.facebook.com/david.fuentes.9461/videos/1532972206735927/

4

"the easiest thing in the world" Charles Manson quote

by oppostate in

how very like the jw.0rg!

my jaw dropped reading this on facebook, a quote by charles manson, about getting people to do what you want.. .

oppostate

How very like the JW.0rg! My jaw dropped reading this on facebook, a quote by Charles Manson, about getting people to do what you want.

22

I have a theory related to the cult spectrum

by ILoveTTATT2 in

jw
friends

translating jwfacts into spanish has made me critically analyze pretty much everything paul has written.

i would say paul is right 90%+ of the time.

some things are just things that are outdated, on other occasions, things are partially right and just need to be tweaked.anyhow... one of the articles is "where else would i go"?since i am an atheist, ideally, for me, the answer would be "become at least agnostic, if not atheist, and lead an evidence-based life".

oppostate

@ ILoveTTATT2

I've been to some of their conferences here in Massachusetts at Gordon College. They're pretty cool. The conference of Free Bible Students had its start in 1909 in Brooklyn, NY, they'd split from Russell over the issue of the New Covenant.

http://www.cbconference.com/

http://www.cbfchurch.com/history-of-cbf.html

..

22

I have a theory related to the cult spectrum

by ILoveTTATT2 in

jw
friends

translating jwfacts into spanish has made me critically analyze pretty much everything paul has written.

i would say paul is right 90%+ of the time.

some things are just things that are outdated, on other occasions, things are partially right and just need to be tweaked.anyhow... one of the articles is "where else would i go"?since i am an atheist, ideally, for me, the answer would be "become at least agnostic, if not atheist, and lead an evidence-based life".

oppostate

Not all Bible students are Dawn cultish.

Those who separated from Russell early on are not BITE-ers.

Like ones from the Christian Believers Conference.

3

The Legend of the Death of Arius – Imagination and Propaganda in the Development of Early Christianity.

by fulltimestudent in

jw
friends

the legend of the death of arius – imagination and propaganda in the development of early christianity.. .

as a jw, i, of course, soon learnt the standard jw belief that there was no such thing as a triune god.

whereas most other christians believe in a triune god.

oppostate

I believe that Arius had been restored to good graces when he was poisoned with an intestine damaging abrasive, causing him to first have extreme abdominal pain then when running off to relieve himself, hemorrhaging out the anus and finally dying from loss of blood. This can be attested to from eyewitness accounts.

Athanasius was a hierarchical tyrant with an ax to grind. I would not put it past him to have Arius poisoned.

85

Are you a Christian Who Accepts Evolution?

by cofty in

if you identify as a christian but you have accepted that the diversity of life - including humans - resulted from a process of biological evolution could you add your name please?.

just to be clear i am referring to the fact that our physical lineage could literally be traced back all the way to non-human species.. if you like maybe you could comment on why you see not conflict between evolution and your christian faith.. there is a tendency to conflate evolution with atheism.

it would be good to show that this is not the case..

oppostate

OK. I'm still of the opinion that a Divine Entity could use the process of biological evolution, why not? And the Adam and Eve story thing is as simplified as the division of each developmentally creative stage into a day and a night. Considering the down-market nature of human scientific sophistication until not that long ago, it makes sense to me.

16

Connection between shunning and Alzheimer's

by poopie in

jw
friends

another reason to stop social isolation..

oppostate

I was going to go to that conference but I forgot!