It is a high control group and parents trust the elders and god to deal with the matter. Some do report these matters to the police despite encouragement to leave things in god's hands but often parents are fearful of bringing gods name into disrepute and being accused of causing divisions in the congregation. They mistakenly believe that the elders will protect them from further harm. The organisation encourages mistrust of counsellors and therapies and promotes the view that they have the power to punish.
Posts by nugget
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16Question regarding parental obligation to report to authorities
by gbrn ini am relatively new to the forum, and not quite as familiar with all of the ins and outs of jw culture as many of you are, so i apologize if this is an ignorant question.
it is quite apparent the wt has handled child abuse allegations in a horrible way, viewing it as sin as opposed to a crime.
after an allegation is reported to the elders, and they are not required by law to report to the authorities, why don't parents simply go to the authorities themselves and report the crime.
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39
AVOIDING A SHEPHERDING CALL: Suggestions pls
by grumblecakes inyup got a voice mail bright and early this morning "grumblecakes, we would like to schedule a shepherding call".. how do i get outta this?.
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thanks!!
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nugget
They have as much power over you as you choose to give them.
To avoid a shepherding call it is good to keep it short, direct and non threatening.
Thank them for their concern, as you can see I am very busy right now and it is very diffivcult to find me in. I will let you know when things settle down and arrange a visit then. Thanks again I appreciate your efforts even though now is not a good time. Sorry have to go thanks for calling.
Keep in control, keep it short don't get into a debate or allow them to question you. Keep repeating sorry I have an appointment must go.
Really if you don't want to talk to them you are under no obligation to do so.
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11
40 Publishers
by Nosferatu inheh, publishers..... was talking with my mother the other day.
in the 17 years i've been out, my old congregation's publishers have drastically dropped.
when i was going , we were in the high 80s for publishers.
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nugget
When I got married my congregation was in the process of splitting into 2 as the hall was too small for the number of publishers. Numbers in the new congregations have dropped dramatically and 25 years later they are thinking of merging. What is holding them back is that none of the key elders want to give up their key jobs.
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81
What constitutes 'proof' on JWN?
by besty inrecently there have been a few threads where claims have been made alledging personal negative effects in 'real life' following internet activity on jwn and other ex-jw related sites.
discussion then ensues, aspects of which may include 3rd parties either disputing the truth or affirming the likelihood of the claim.
questions are asked.
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nugget
Evidence is who said what and when. Where numbers are implied where is the report, paper or research where those numbers came from.
Is there a contradictory argument if so what is it and who offers it.
Who said what and what are their credentials, vested interests and qualifications.
When it is an issue of he said she said then truth is difficult to determine.
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32
Elizabeth McFarland child abuse lawsuit on the news
by cedars inhi folks.
i'm aware that there is already a thread on the newly-announced elizabeth mcfarland lawsuit, but i thought i would start a new thread for the benefit of lurkers showing the newly released news videos more prominently.. here they are.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfhrhrvm2c4.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xegm1gunz2c.
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nugget
It takes a lot of courage to take on any large organisation. These young women and men who are raising awareness of the issue of child abuse in congregations are helping force change. It is a shame that these are the tip of a very large and very ugly iceberg.
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9
What do you Poms think about the Cricket now
by barry inwe are 411 for 5 wickets now we won the toss and i think we are back.
' look out!
' .
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nugget
nice to see a proper competition at last no one likes ritual humiliation.
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80
hello. pls help. getting married soon. afraid i won't be happy because wtbts said so.
by seasickbumblebee inalshello.
i'm a practicing jw.
finally decided to create an account to see whether you could all help me.. so i am engaged to this wonderful wonderful man and in three months time we'll be married.
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nugget
If you were not witnesses then nothing you did would have been considered inappropriate between two adults and certainly not unsurprising between an engaged couple. You confessed some of what you did to the elders and they also did not deem it worthy of anything other than a reproof.
You need to talk to your fiancee about what he is thinking at this time. This level of paranoia and guilt is unhealthy in a relationship. After all if you are to be married then you need a level of maturity that neither of you are demonstrating. It is very easy when placed under such scrutiny for love to turn into dislike. It is easy to look at the other person and see in them the cause of your woe. Has the balance of your relationship changed and is it worth calling a halt to proceedings to allow you both to determine whether you want to go ahead.
If he is already convinced that the marriage is doomed then what sort of wedding day will it be? You are adults not children and as adults you take responsibility for your own choices. It will certainly be unlikely to succeed if you constantly involve elders in the intimate side of marriage. A husband needs to know his own mind and be prepared to stand up for you, not throw you under the bus to satisfy his ideas of what is nice and to salve his conscience. You also need to think about your own self worth and self respect, how much humiliation are you prepared to take for this wimp.
I would take time to evaluate whether this can ever work.
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31
Protest at district convention in Budapest, Hungary
by cedars inhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihncqunkq94.
whatever your thoughts on the shouting, displaying a simple web address is an extremely effective and non-confrontational way of getting the message across - and in this case it looks like hundreds if not thousands of witnesses saw it.. .
cedars.
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nugget
They all seemed very good natured about it which was nice to see and their happy demeanor was a change from the intensity and serious approach to some other protests of this nature. I think it would have been useful if the message was printed on both sides of the banner so pedestrians walking past could also read it.
It was a shame that there was no translation as I would have been fascinated to hear what some of the wirnesses were saying although I think I could have given it an educated guess.
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Pranksters Help Homeless Man
by Badfish inthis video was posted by a prank youtube channel i'm subscribed to.
i promise you won't be disappointed.. .
http://youtu.be/rsiooxg_gmo.
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nugget
People are not as one dimensional as the watchtower suggests. These boys did a good thing helping Martin and treating him like a person even if it was a brief encounter in his life. Hopefully it will have long term benefits for him and not just a happy memory.
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43
Remarkably stupid point in this week's Jeremiah book study - Jehovah's loving kindness
by sir82 inthe whole jeremiah book is an abomination, but a point in this week's study exceeded even its usual standards of inanity.. from page 144, paragraph 10:.
in our day, god continues to show loving-kindness in ways that directly benefit his worshippers.
consider the matter of prayer.
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nugget
So he takes note of what exactly?
Note that bro so and so is still suffering, still a believer although nothing has happened to ease his burden. If you plan to do nothing why take note? What is the purpose of prayer?
It seems so cruel that he never tires of hearing how much we suffer. It reads like he gets pleasure from the prolonged suffering of believers. Who ever wrote this is a total idiot.