Posts by nugget

24

Are you better off as a worldly person or a JW?

by Jules Saturn in

i was having a conversation with a relative who has been inactive for several decades (part of the ‘75 generation) and he argued that a person that is a born in is better off staying in the organization rather than someone like him who lived as a “worldly” person but then became a witness later in life.

he argues that when you’re born in, all you know nothing outside of the organization, so you’re better off in than out, that’s why when born ins leave the org, they always come back.

i agree that as a born in, your social circle is composed of witnesses but i do feel that even born ins would be happier outside of the org than being in.

nugget

Born in means you have no experience of life outside, all your connections are JWs and you are conditioned to accept JW doctrine and to follow the restrictions in their lives You have never had a proper childhood since your parent's love is conditional on you sharing their beliefs. They have had a miserable childhood and adolescence and devoted endless hours to meetings, assemblies, field service and bible study. They may have married someone with whom they have nothing in common because options are limited and the pressure to marry the first person you date is huge. If you decide to leave you are facing the loss of all your family and friends, they are poorly educated and have limited resources.

If you came in later in life you have a network of non JWs you can connect with. You have had a chance of a real childhood, education and a chance to enjoy your youth. You have experienced unconditional love and had a chance to make something of your life. If you wake up to the bullshit you have more resources and more options.

Just because the JW life is all you know it does not mean it is in anyway better to the experience of a life of freedom.

16

Have Watchtower changed their polices to report to police child sex abuse?

by pleaseresearch in

hi all.

just speaking to a sister about the royal commission.. she said they they have now changed their guidelines so that they now report all to the police.. really?

does anyone know if this is true?.

nugget

I have been given the latest copy of the policy for the UK. Elders are told to contact the legal department and comply with local laws. Elders are not explicitly told to contact authorities.It acknowledges that parents or other individuals may chose to report it to the authorities but nowhere are they encouraged to do so. Elders will contact the police if they determine that the child is still at risk and after taking advice from the society.

The policy states that Parents have the primary responsibility for the protection,safety and instruction of their children. The implication being that it is their responsibility to protect their children not the elders responsibility.

Because the society does not provide Sunday schools or youth groups they do not fall under legislation for the protection of children.

The child will still be required to give evidence at a judicial committee but not in front of their abuser. The child can chose to have an adult representative to support them other than their parents although they will still be questioned by the elders.

Throughout the policy child abuse is referred to as a sin when it is in fact a crime.

The policy also makes the assumption that all abuse victims are girls which is a mistake as abuse victims can be of either sex.

A change seems to be that parents of minors may be told to monitor their childrens' interactions with a particular individual if elders receive this instruction from the service desk to do so.

There have been some changes but it falls far short of what is needed. No involvement of women in the process other than as an adult representative. Elders receive no specialist training in safeguarding and the policy shows that there are still gaps in understanding of what is involved and the need for long term support for the victim. I was disappointed with the policy.

25

My JW niece is getting married ... typical JW drama

by wannabefree in

we received an invitation in the mail yesterday for my jw niece's wedding.. i am posting this just to add for any lurkers to see typical jw practices.. 1st - and perfectly understandable for anybody who is or was a jw.

i'm not invited.

:) hey, i'm really not complaining about that.

nugget

JWs can make a drama over anything. I would suggest to your wife that as you are not included in the invite it may offend her brother if you contributed to the wedding by paying for your wife's travel and accommodation. Perhaps it would be better for his conscience if he funded it so that there was no taint on the wedding and you would then have no involvement.

JWs are happy to take from others but give nothing back they will expect gifts and goodwill from others but will give no compromise. Weddings should be a happy family event it is ridiculous that it becomes a staged advertorial for the organisation.

It is also concerning that the grooms family are behaving so badly and making a fuss about your daughter being involved in the wedding. It is none of their business who the bride picks.The wedding plans have changed so much that it now has nothing to do with the bride and groom at all.

20

boyfriend ex jehovah witness please help

by whatisthis12 in

so i posted yesterday.

my boyfriend and i have been living together for a year, and he went to the memorial tonight (sorry if that’s not what it’s called).

i told him i was upset he didn’t invite me but wasn’t going to tell him not to go because he hasn’t talked to his family for over a year.

nugget

Sorry to hear your news. This sucks and there is very little you can do to stop this rollercoaster once it starts. The religion is very controlling and your relationship is likely to be a casualty. In JW world all relationships are conditional and disposable. To be able to have a relationship with his family he needs to comply with JW standards. That means attending meetings and showing repentance. Part of that means rejecting behaviour that goes against JW beliefs. The key here is that sex outside marriage is forbidden and dating a non JW is seen as disloyalty to the organisation.

He hasn't tried to make you a part of his journey back into the faith rather he has distanced you from what is going on. He has asked you to leave even though you have contributed to the rent. It may be worth giving yourself some space to think about what you want. You deserve someone who loves you unconditionally and who shares their plans with you. You can only say if you are done with this relationship but I fear the decision has already been taken out of your hands.

9

Memorial Question

by charity7 in

hi guys.

my husband is a jw and i have a question because yesterday was the memorial.

i was wondering how they pick the date for the memorial because, even though religious groups are celebrating today as easter, next sunday is actually the anniversary date of the resurrection according to the jewish calendar?

nugget

I always get confused by the memorial. I had imagined it should take place on the passover but it never seem to and sometimes it has been days adrift.

12

Even LEGO must obey jesus command to keep doing this

by Kevin McFree in

https://youtu.be/vdtwrqvgcv0.

nugget

Great video made me laugh. ust what I needed.

18

Cart observations from Cardiff South Wales

by freddo in

jw
friends

i was in a suburb of cardiff, capital of wales where it was difficult to get near to my customer's offices to deliver and install what i do.

i had my car parked about a hundred yards away and had to make several trips with goods and tools past a local jw trolley cart.

as i was working i didn't stop but observed much of the time from an upper floor office window.. in the hour or so i was there, on a warm sunny (for late february) lunchtime/early afternoon - right by a bus stop and several local shops, cafes and banks with plenty of people about - not one person stopped at the cart.. the two women at the cart i guess were about 50 and 75 respectively - pleasant looking motherly/grandmotherly types.

nugget

There was a time when jws were trained to debate/lecture members of the public. Now they don't have the tools or understanding to argue key points and they shy away from conflict. This catch all website jworg allows witnesses to put zero effort into their ministry.

7

Guardian Newspaper

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

just to say, the guardian investigative reporter who is looking into child abuse among jws rang me today as i had completed the form linked to their recent article.. we had a nice chat, she asked me for some details about my particular experience and asked me to spread the word as they are looking for more abuse victims.

her new article will probably come out in 10 days, so look out for it.. if you are in the uk and you are a victim or know of one, this is an opportunity to speak out and you can remain anonymous, as i have done.

.

nugget

Thats ok I had told the guardian about an incident that occurred when I was in my late teens so not a child. I had explained to them why as a witness I had never considered calling the police even though what had happened to me was a crime. I was providing more background information on what the JC was like and how the process presumed guilt and the emphasis was more on providing evidence of repentance rather than appreciating the long term effect that could have on a victim. I told them the impact this had had on my life and how victims of child abuse would suffer even more long term psychological damage since victims of abuse are not signposted to any support systems, may have to see their perpetrator at meetings and other religious events and remain civil to them if they remain in good standing. So in my case she wasn't looking for a one off story but for some insight into why I as a JW made the choice to seek support from the elders first and trust them to deal with an issue that in any other setting would be seen as a crime.

I was surprised they contacted me to be honest as I had said that I was providing information only.

9

What I noticed about the Awake Mag left at my doormat

by days of future passed in

first, this is the second invite i received and it came with an awake magazine.

i'm pretty sure it is the crazy anointed witness that i knew, that is dropping it off.. i decided to look at it to see what is the wt is up to.

how different the content is from long ago.. on the back page, there is a header in a red box that says "the way of happiness learn more.

nugget

Wow I admire your tenacity in going through the magazine. They seem to lack any substance at all and a more like pamphlets signposting to JW.org. I bet most of the rank and file still don't read them.

7

Guardian Newspaper

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

just to say, the guardian investigative reporter who is looking into child abuse among jws rang me today as i had completed the form linked to their recent article.. we had a nice chat, she asked me for some details about my particular experience and asked me to spread the word as they are looking for more abuse victims.

her new article will probably come out in 10 days, so look out for it.. if you are in the uk and you are a victim or know of one, this is an opportunity to speak out and you can remain anonymous, as i have done.

.

nugget

I was called by the Guardian this morning. They have had a number of submissions so they are certainly following up on the submissions. If you have experience of this then it is worth contributing you can do so anonymously and you can chose that the submission is for information only but it will provide a greater understanding of what has been happening and may help to give this issue wider exposure.

It is so important the ARC testimony and the court transcripts from the Candace Conti case show that the society does not value the children in their care taking no responsibility for what happens to them. This must change.