When your ready it only took me 42 years.
Posts by nugget
-
-
-
-
32
Knock Knock...."Who's there?" They came to MY DOOR!!
by Terry init is a peculiar experience.. once you are out of the kingdom hall forever and haven't been in field service for many years...... a knock comes at your front door and you answer it only to find:.
jehovah's witnesses!.
that happened to me......finally.. in the last decade i don't think i've encountered anything other than mormons or drug ministry fund raisers at my door.. but--this time, it was the real thing.. it was two sisters and they weren't much older than their 20's.. they didn't know i was satan himself, of course and i was reluctant to interrupt them and tell them.. what to do---what to do?
-
-
nugget
I fear your time to shine is over you are probably a do not call.
Never mind you did great a truly impressive display.
-
16
has anyone heard of curse on JW regarding fertility?
by God Chick inwhile in jw i knew so many women who had trouble falling pregnant or had trouble keeping babies to term including my own family.
out of us 6 girls only 2 could fall pregnant.. i've heard since leaving that the masons have a curse on them that effects fertility, since the founders of jw were masons has it passed on?.
the bible does talk about curses and that they were generational.. is this an urban myth?
-
-
nugget
People in the organisation are cursed by their own GB. Following talks such as "Responsible childbearing in this time of the end" many delayed starting a family until later in life. As a result for some fertility levels were lower and it took longer to conceive. For others they were unaware that they had problems and so were too old to start IVF treatment.
Some older ones were so convinced that the end was near they decided not to have children and put all energy into the organisation. They are now pensioners with no one to leave their assets too, hoping for a new world in which they can start a family. The tragedy is that many are now dying and as resurrected ones they are not destined for family life.
People who are not Witnesses suffer infertility, miscarriges and birth defects so it is no surprise that the organisation suffers from these too. It is the pressure to remain childless which is the curse.
-
63
Separating saucer section...General Order 14. [Borg cubes inbound!--Part II]
by sd-7 incaptain code named sd-7.
self-destruct code 0-0-0-alpha-gamma-1.
this will be my final entry on jehovahs-witness.net.
-
-
nugget
Sd7 thanks for taking the time to post many of us were concerned for you. Every person is relevant and deserving of happiness. Good luck with the therapist I hope they can help you find peace of mind.
-
38
Are JWs discouraged from seeking mental help?
by Kristina1972 inmy husband was raised in this religion, but was never baptized and does not go to meetings, although my mil is heavily involved.
although my husband doesn't practice his religion, he believes it is the truth and i hate asking him questions, because he is very defensive of the religion.
he and his mother, many years ago before i knew either of them, were treated for severe depression and hospitalized (at different times as a result of them going through divorces.
-
-
nugget
Open mind yes they mention that mental illness is treatable but the years of conditioning mean that people still reject the idea of seeking professional help until it is an extreme case. Remember that a lot of R&F don't have time to keep up to date on teachings and will cling to what they remember. This includes elders.
This is the problem many JWs live in the past and hold on to more extreme views to be on the safe side. We have all experienced advice being given that is not in line with the printed material.
-
38
Are JWs discouraged from seeking mental help?
by Kristina1972 inmy husband was raised in this religion, but was never baptized and does not go to meetings, although my mil is heavily involved.
although my husband doesn't practice his religion, he believes it is the truth and i hate asking him questions, because he is very defensive of the religion.
he and his mother, many years ago before i knew either of them, were treated for severe depression and hospitalized (at different times as a result of them going through divorces.
-
-
nugget
Seeking professional help is failure. The standard advice seems to be get to all the meetings, do more study and service and all will be well.
When we told an elder that due to my sons condition we had been advised by a medical professional that he needed a regular bedtime routine and therefore could not go to Tuesday meetings since he had to be in bed by 7:30, my husband was told he would have to sort it out. How crass it that? I have sorted it out and will not be going on Tuesday, arse!
When my autistic nephew freaked out during prayers my sister was told he was possessed by a demon. Study, prayer and service would fix it. Quite frankly they are less enlightened than witch doctors.
One sister I knew suffered from OCD but was concerned about seeking professional help in case she was hypnotised.
The society is positively dangerous in the way it approaches any form of mental illness, they have failed the R&F and caused so much misery. At least I no longer feel the need to disrupt my son's routine so that I look good to a bunch of stupid men.
-
52
What happened to your marriage after you stopped believing?
by JerkhovahsWitless ini know some posters here went through or are going through some painful things right now because of no longer believing when they have a husband / wife that still does.
others were able to free the minds of their spouse.
i'm assuming the latter is a lot more rare.. anyone that wishes to share their story, please do.. i'm looking to pass the info on to someone who doesn't totally believe, but may marry a jw.
-
-
nugget
My husband came out first. He was deeper in than I was being an elder and we were all a bit of a disappointment since I was never an uberelders wife. The children were children and never seemed quite as spiritual as the other elders children. So really it was a bit of a shock when he said he no longer believed it.
However once he told me that he no longer believed I did put up a bit of resistance but did reach the tipping point once I had read of Crisis of Conscience and Steve Hassan's book. I stopped trying to justify the GB and using the they are only imperfect men card and took a good long hard look at what I actually believed. I had always held my own opinions on certain matters that were a direct contradiction of the societies view so being able to admit to these beliefs to my husband and not have to justify the extremes was a relief.
That being said it is hard to make an adjustment even when both have agreed to do so. It is constantly negotiating and determining a set of values based on personal moral codes rather than man made dictacts. At least we had the foundation of over 20 years of married life to help us.
I understand that this experience isn't common. Many do not want to change and will not change even when presented with the evidence. This can lead to much misery. You have to ask is it fair to go into a marriage when both parties do not know what they are letting themselves in for? She needs to know where he stands and he needs to know if she is willing to accept him as he is? They need to discuss what they would do regarding different friends and recreation and what expectations they both have. Marrying with secrets like this is foolish and not a good start for either of them. The discussion could break them up but a break up now is kinder and less stressful than a divorce later.
-
6
She has autism 5 year old child. :(
by asilentone ini am going to date this gorgeous chick sometime soon.
she wants long term relationship, but she has a 5 year old son that has autism, should i be concerned?
.
-
-
nugget
I think it is great that you are interested in this lady and are thinking responsibly about the relationship. Autism is a blanket for a number of conditions some more severe than others. I have a severly autistic nephew in a special school and a child of my own with high functioning autism. Both are very different in many ways and surprisingly similar in others. My nephew has little interest in the people around him my son is loving and caring desperately cute and fearless.
I think until you know what level of autism you are dealing with it is difficult to know how you feel about it. I would get to know this lady first, get her to talk about her child. Then meet her child on another occasion and see what they are like. If you want to take it further then find out more about the specifics of the autism involved.
Remember some so called normal children can be challenging, mean and narrow minded and autistic children can be surprising, lovable and exceptional. It is a little early to be put off by a label.
-
49
my mum taught us very valuable lessons about Jehovah in her special way. Any other parents out there as psycho?
by God Chick inok before i start i know my mum was um "special" and had some, well...... bizzare training ideas.. .
i was one of 7 kids, dad didnt help much coz he was sick, so my mum was left to run the 'ship' and she did it with an iron fist.. .
we were never late for a meeting we sat, parents and 2 kids in one row the other 5 in row in front.
-
-
nugget
I was lucky my mum was strict but in the same way as most parents in the 70's were strict. Most of my friends were smacked using a slipper or a wooden spoon since you can't get a good enough impact with a hand. However this was done in the home, in private and certainly not at meetings. I was obviously extremely lucky but didn't think so at the time.
Cantleave is very hard on himself. The kids call him grumpy git but certainly aren't in mortal fear of him. Yes he was bad as an elder espeacially early on but far from a hopeless case. Since discovering the society is a steaming pile of manure he has worked really hard on understanding his children to listening to them and not blowing his top. Every now and then we warn him if we think he is behaving like his mother.
Any form of conditioning is deep and damaging and the danger that the abused becomes the abuser is a real one. Cantleaves Mother was abused by her mother, she abused her sons and her sons were in danger of doing the same.
Until he had the children he was pretty much in control but as soon as the children arrived it was as if a switch went on in his head and the old pattern kicked in. When I spoke to my SIL it turned out that his brother was just the same.
At least we have broken the cycle here but know from experience that it takes time and distance from the enablers of abuse to make it work.
-
8
Ever Heard Of Someone Being Disfellowshipped For Talking To A DFed Person?
by Quillsky ini haven't.. i propose that a shift, a change, begins here, spearheaded by those who are still "in".
what's the worst thing the organization could do to you?.
show some love to the next vulnerable disfellowshipped person you meet and speak to them, show them some humanity, some understanding.. if you're disfellowshipped yourself write an email today to someone you love who is not "permitted" to speak to you.. report back on here if it makes some kind of difference..
-
-
nugget
Df'd friend is coming to dinner on 13th Feb. Shunning is bad and there is really nothing to be gained by treating people in this way. In all bullying handbooks I've read shunning is bullying and I'm not a bully.