Posts by nugget

20

boyfriend ex jehovah witness please help

by whatisthis12 in

so i posted yesterday.

my boyfriend and i have been living together for a year, and he went to the memorial tonight (sorry if that’s not what it’s called).

i told him i was upset he didn’t invite me but wasn’t going to tell him not to go because he hasn’t talked to his family for over a year.

nugget

Sorry to hear your news. This sucks and there is very little you can do to stop this rollercoaster once it starts. The religion is very controlling and your relationship is likely to be a casualty. In JW world all relationships are conditional and disposable. To be able to have a relationship with his family he needs to comply with JW standards. That means attending meetings and showing repentance. Part of that means rejecting behaviour that goes against JW beliefs. The key here is that sex outside marriage is forbidden and dating a non JW is seen as disloyalty to the organisation.

He hasn't tried to make you a part of his journey back into the faith rather he has distanced you from what is going on. He has asked you to leave even though you have contributed to the rent. It may be worth giving yourself some space to think about what you want. You deserve someone who loves you unconditionally and who shares their plans with you. You can only say if you are done with this relationship but I fear the decision has already been taken out of your hands.

9

Memorial Question

by charity7 in

hi guys.

my husband is a jw and i have a question because yesterday was the memorial.

i was wondering how they pick the date for the memorial because, even though religious groups are celebrating today as easter, next sunday is actually the anniversary date of the resurrection according to the jewish calendar?

nugget

I always get confused by the memorial. I had imagined it should take place on the passover but it never seem to and sometimes it has been days adrift.

12

Even LEGO must obey jesus command to keep doing this

by Kevin McFree in

https://youtu.be/vdtwrqvgcv0.

nugget

Great video made me laugh. ust what I needed.

18

Cart observations from Cardiff South Wales

by freddo in

jw
friends

i was in a suburb of cardiff, capital of wales where it was difficult to get near to my customer's offices to deliver and install what i do.

i had my car parked about a hundred yards away and had to make several trips with goods and tools past a local jw trolley cart.

as i was working i didn't stop but observed much of the time from an upper floor office window.. in the hour or so i was there, on a warm sunny (for late february) lunchtime/early afternoon - right by a bus stop and several local shops, cafes and banks with plenty of people about - not one person stopped at the cart.. the two women at the cart i guess were about 50 and 75 respectively - pleasant looking motherly/grandmotherly types.

nugget

There was a time when jws were trained to debate/lecture members of the public. Now they don't have the tools or understanding to argue key points and they shy away from conflict. This catch all website jworg allows witnesses to put zero effort into their ministry.

7

Guardian Newspaper

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

just to say, the guardian investigative reporter who is looking into child abuse among jws rang me today as i had completed the form linked to their recent article.. we had a nice chat, she asked me for some details about my particular experience and asked me to spread the word as they are looking for more abuse victims.

her new article will probably come out in 10 days, so look out for it.. if you are in the uk and you are a victim or know of one, this is an opportunity to speak out and you can remain anonymous, as i have done.

.

nugget

Thats ok I had told the guardian about an incident that occurred when I was in my late teens so not a child. I had explained to them why as a witness I had never considered calling the police even though what had happened to me was a crime. I was providing more background information on what the JC was like and how the process presumed guilt and the emphasis was more on providing evidence of repentance rather than appreciating the long term effect that could have on a victim. I told them the impact this had had on my life and how victims of child abuse would suffer even more long term psychological damage since victims of abuse are not signposted to any support systems, may have to see their perpetrator at meetings and other religious events and remain civil to them if they remain in good standing. So in my case she wasn't looking for a one off story but for some insight into why I as a JW made the choice to seek support from the elders first and trust them to deal with an issue that in any other setting would be seen as a crime.

I was surprised they contacted me to be honest as I had said that I was providing information only.

9

What I noticed about the Awake Mag left at my doormat

by days of future passed in

first, this is the second invite i received and it came with an awake magazine.

i'm pretty sure it is the crazy anointed witness that i knew, that is dropping it off.. i decided to look at it to see what is the wt is up to.

how different the content is from long ago.. on the back page, there is a header in a red box that says "the way of happiness learn more.

nugget

Wow I admire your tenacity in going through the magazine. They seem to lack any substance at all and a more like pamphlets signposting to JW.org. I bet most of the rank and file still don't read them.

7

Guardian Newspaper

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

just to say, the guardian investigative reporter who is looking into child abuse among jws rang me today as i had completed the form linked to their recent article.. we had a nice chat, she asked me for some details about my particular experience and asked me to spread the word as they are looking for more abuse victims.

her new article will probably come out in 10 days, so look out for it.. if you are in the uk and you are a victim or know of one, this is an opportunity to speak out and you can remain anonymous, as i have done.

.

nugget

I was called by the Guardian this morning. They have had a number of submissions so they are certainly following up on the submissions. If you have experience of this then it is worth contributing you can do so anonymously and you can chose that the submission is for information only but it will provide a greater understanding of what has been happening and may help to give this issue wider exposure.

It is so important the ARC testimony and the court transcripts from the Candace Conti case show that the society does not value the children in their care taking no responsibility for what happens to them. This must change.

45

I'm getting disfellowshipped

by Letty in

hi everyone i'm 19 year old and i've been a jehovahs witness for 3 years now.

i've followed the rules and i'm even a pioneer.

but i've hid the secret of a boyfriend i had from india.

nugget

JWs are trained to over react they always blame the perceived sinner. In a reasonable life what you do with your boyfriend is strictly your business and no one elses. Don't let them make you feel unworthy or shameful. Actually you don't deserve this treatment and their hysteria is a shameful display as it relates totally to how your behaviour reflects on them, What about your right as an adult to privacy?. What about the trauma they are putting you through?

I am so sorry that this has happened how you approach it is still in your control and others have made suggestions. But remember outside JWs there is a different perspective and you do not need to be defined by them.

40

Unhappy being asked to give a Disfellowshipped Sister a ride to and from Meetings

by Isambard Crater in

i'm pimo, very much against disfellowshipping, and going to a meeting leaves me feeling confused and angry at the best of times.

except an elder asked me on thursday night if i can start giving a ride to a disfellowshipped woman because she lives near me and nobody else from the hall lives in my village.

it seems the elder and his family who have been giving this woman a ride for the past six months can no longer stomach the time it takes them to go out of their way.. i thought all normal publishers weren't to have any contact with disfellowshipped people?

nugget

This is probably the result of the whole thing being an inconvenience to the elder to go out of his way picking them up. They want to pass this unpleasant task on. I would say that you would prefer it if he asked another elder to help him out as this is a difficult area and you are not comfortable with the request.

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

nugget

This man has lied to everyone. The truth is he is a member of a high control group and part of the culture he belongs to does not permit him to be friends with anyone outside the group. He is only allowed to date someone if he intends to marry them and sex is not allowed outside of marriage. If your relationship was known to other members of the congregation he would be censured and may even be shunned and thrown out of the faith.

He wants everything, to have sex with you and to maintain his position. He can't have both and be honest. He can't see you as a serious relationship because you don't meet his religions criteria and he does not care enough about you to put you first. He wants you to make all the compromises whilst treating you as a shameful secret. If you continue you will be constantly expected to be available for him whilst at no time will he make compromises for you. Christmas, birthdays and thanksgiving are not important to him so you will spend these on your own.