I'm one of those that played that game but never spoke about it to anyone else. It always seemed to me that I would have been much better off not being born in to it and then getting brought in later on in life just because then I would have (in my mind) "known for SURE it was the truth." It never seemed good enough to just trust that my family knew the truth and passed it on to me so I would never have the "burden" of figuring it out for myself.
Posts by xmkx
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18To those who were born in
by poopsiecakes inwhile you were a witness, did you ever play the what if game?
i would occasionally sit with my friends and wed bandy the ideas around...if we werent born in would we be interested if someone knocked at our door...would we want to go to college...would we be promiscuous.... it was interesting to hear the responses and i think about that now.
one thing i always knew was that if someone knocked at my door a) chances are i wouldnt answer and b) although i would be polite, i would not have any interest whatsoever.
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Is it all in the timing? Talking to my kids about baptism
by Aussie Oz inwell, the next few months wt study articles are on baptism.. i am worried for my kids.
if they go along with this, the likelyhood of them having to shun me are great.
even as minors.
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xmkx
Personally I would make sure to point out that baptism is just as big of a decision and just as serious as getting married. Why would one expect a 13/16 year old to make that kind of decision, much less encourage them to do it?
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22
Sign In If Not Bitter... Pretty Please!
by Doubtfully Yours ini have a few discomforts with the wbts, but it's mostly my own attitude, not that i'm bitter towards the religion.. if you're anouther 'not bitter' soul, please give me a shout out.. dy .
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xmkx
No bitterness. Just sympathy for those who look towards the Society to fulfill them, and a vague kind of puzzlement at the men on the top and how they can lead an organization claiming to be God's spokesman when it's so blatantly clear to them that they are not. Maybe they just don't want to let millions of JWs down? I find it hard to believe that every governing body member in history has been corrupt and just didn't want to lose their creature comforts by exposing themselves. I think many of them have been just as trapped, if not MORE trapped, than the average JW their self. Well, except perhaps Rutherford... :-/
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12
Twilight movies
by darnkid indoes anyone know exactly what the society has said on the twilight movies?
is it a matter of conscience or a real no-no?
my children are witnesses, i am df'd so i can't say anything, but one of them indulges in these movies and books-the baptized one who won't visit me or talk to me unless absolutely necessary.
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xmkx
In general JWs are supposed to be against ALL creatures of fantasy. Vampires are seen as one of the more dangerous concepts. I had a fascination with reading about them when I was younger and got in to trouble repeatedly over it. It's not a DFing offense (that I'm aware of) but it is considered something that anyone in good standing would stay away from. At least that's how it was in the 90's.
Even with the vampire element removed, the Society would probably STILL frown on Twilight because it's a love story between - gasp! - teenagers! Since JW teens are not supposed to date or anything like that until they are ready for marriage, it could be considered to be encouraging "loose conduct".
I'm pretty certain Twilight is going to end up under the same status as Harry Potter once WBTS realizes it's just as popular among JW youth.
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29
How Did You Know The One You're With Was "The One" ?
by palmtree67 ini'm feeling all warm and fuzzy, love-y and romantic because of my upcoming marriage, so i ask you all:.
was there something that happened to prove to you that your spouse or mate was "the one"?.
my man gave up his longest and best friend.
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xmkx
What made my husband stand out from the other men I had dated was that he understood me and loved me for everything that I was - faults and all - no attempts to make me out to be someone else or someone "better". I could talk to him about anything and not only was he accepting of what I said but a lot of times he could relate to me as well. I gave him love and I felt that love was returned in like manner. We also share a lot of the same personality traits/values such as being philosophical, intellectual, humanitarian, etc. Of course it helps that he has a silly sense of humor and the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen a person have. ;) I cannot imagine having a more perfect partner than him... he is the kind of guy I always dreamed of marrying.
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17
Help! Holy Spirit is Sucking me back in!
by BloominMarvellous inhi guys.
its been a long time since ive been on here!
just trying to get on with my life.
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xmkx
Hmm. You sound like me several years ago...
This is what I have learned. A lot of times when you feel like you're searching for something and you don't know what it is, that something you're searching for is yourself. Somewhere along the way you've pushed your identity, needs, and wants so far in to the background you don't even know they exist any more much less what they are but you do feel that something is missing. It's really easy to do when one gets involved with something like the JWs that dictates what their identity, needs, and wants supposedly should be rather than allowing them to identify those things on their own.
Also please try to keep in mind that depression is not a disease in the majority of cases in which it is diagnosed and treated with medication. If you're taking medication and you're STILL struggling with depression, it's a good indicator that there's psychological and not biological factors at play. In these cases a diagnosis and medication actually makes you worse because now you have a disease to blame for your negative emotions rather than confronting those emotions head on and figuring out what the REAL causes behind them are. It also gives one the idea that something is wrong with them if they are depressed, which is not necessarily true... depression is in a sense a healthy emotion to have... it lets us know when our needs are not being met. It's when all your needs are being met and you're still depressed that it becomes a question of something being wrong with your biological makeup.
I spent 12 years in the mental health system on medication for depression that could have been easily treated through counseling because the biological factor was assumed rather than proven. Through what I have both experienced and observed it's not at all uncommon for someone with psychologically based depression to be handed an anti-depressant and then shooed out the door. I hope this is not the case with you, but something you said gave me reason for doubt... so I'm letting you know about this in the case that you're not aware of it yourself.
I hope you figure out what it is you're searching for. If you find that it is with the JWs, please keep yourself aware of the mind control tactics that are also involved in that organization and take measures against being influenced by them.
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33
How do you reply?
by darthfader ini have read this board for a couple of years, and only began posting this past year.
i read some amazingly articulate questions and responses, and i admire the effort that people put into their posts.
with that in mind, how do you work out your posts?
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xmkx
While I'm not one of the long time members on this forum, I have been a participant on forums in general for many years. I've always just typed out a response and hit "submit". Sometimes I think on it for a while before I post, but I never do the whole Word document thing. I deal with Word enough in school, LOL.
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104
Christian Arrogance
by startingover inmaybe arrogance is not the right word but i can find no other that describes what i see.
the idea expressed by some christians on this board is that somehow god specifically chose them.
i'll quote perry as an example as his post inspired this thread.
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xmkx
Well, I have seen the attitude out of professed Christians that "God chose me and not you" but the statement you quoted doesn't seem to be an example of this. The person is just stating that they feel God has touched their lives and they're happier for it.
I suspect that people that take the "I'm one of God's special people" stance are trying to make up for a lack of self confidence and self love. They also seem to have way too much of an interest in what others are doing compared to what they themselves are doing. In their minds there's "good" people and "bad" people and they're one of the "good" people. It also seems that it's not just like they think they are one of the "good" people but they have to convince themselves beyond any shadow of a doubt that they are most definitely one of those "good" people. One of the ways that the human mind accomplishes this is by pointing out the differences between itself and other people that are deemed to be "bad". Hence the arrogance... it all boils down to big fat denial out of some deeply rooted fear, more than likely fear of abandonment or lacking affirmation. These folks just don't get that as adults we are supposed to be nurturing and affirming ourselves on the inside, not looking towards God on the outside to do it for us. He is our support, not our babysitter.
Personally as a "liberal" Christian I believe God loves all people and makes it possible for all people to reach Him. It's up to us though whether or not we are going to reach out to Him. The ONLY thing that is a Christian's business is their personal relationship with Him, and it's not meant to be a status symbol. Defining your self worth by the God you worship is just like defining your self worth by the friends you have.
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37
confused, scared and worst of all, teenager.
by torn in two son inmy dad woke up about 3 years ago and said nothing.
my sister woke up about a year ago.
my mom about a month ago, myself shortly after.
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xmkx
Hi Torn in Two. I was a third generation JW that DAed myself when I was 15 because my conscience was bothering me more than I could handle. My family was very hardcore as well so I can relate to you on many levels. I know you feel really lost and confused right now... I did too. However getting out at that age was one of the best decisions I have made in my life. I am now in my late twenties and have known more blessings than I probably could have ever expected to have while inside the organization.
You are indeed very lucky that your family left with you. Giving up the only reality you have known in your life as a teenager is hard enough without dealing with family pressure as well.
Being scared and confused is very natural at this point. It's also natural to be skeptical of and even angry at God. The discomfort is going to last a while, but unlike the discomfort you dealt with as a JW, this is a good kind of discomfort. You've just realized that no one has all the answers and there's no real how-to guide to life so of course you're going to be uncomfortable for a while and not know which way is up and which is down. Eventually though you will start to see the beauty in the freedom that comes with that realization and life will start to look better than you ever imagined it could be because you will realize that the ultimate "truth" lies within you and no one else.
Your personal relationships are going to be topsy turvy for a bit. It's great that you have at least one "worldly" friend that you can confide in and don't have to worry about shunning with. And your JW friends might surprise you one day - I have several from my youth that I am in contact with that are no longer JWs themselves.
I wish you the best of luck on your new journey! Just be patient. It takes time to get all the kinks worked out.
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154
JW Apologists please tell me where your God was when .....
by wobble induring the dark days of the second world war , the monsters that ran a concentration camp decided to hang a child.. they hung the poor little chap so that it took half an hour for him to die, all the while making the other inmates look into the face of the child.. where was your god then ?
was he not strong enough to do anything or did he just not care ?.
if the first then he is a very weak god, if the second then,.
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xmkx
God gave us free will. With that freedom comes a price.