I remember when we were part of the Jehovah's witness organization, we got repeatedly taught over and over again how paul in 1 Corinthians 7:36 teaches us not to marry unless we're past the bloom of youth. Now in this situation it does refer to the bloom of youth in the female person, the 'virgin.' But we were always taught in the organization 'don't get married unless you're mature.' Now the scripture does talk about females, but the male population were taught the same thing through the JW. So I thought to myself. besides the physical age and physical features of the body...what would be considered 'the bloom of youth.' Now we can sit and debate this over and over again, but here's what I thought of:
the bloom of youth does not only encompass physicality ...such as genitals and or social status...or employement issues. All the necessary things that have to deal with maturation. But What if bloom of youth also encompassed mental? Now many of you would be like 'well DUH!' ...but hear me out..
Now I know someone who's aunt got married when they were really young. I don't know the details...so this is my assumption on what really happened. I could be wrong. She was HEAD over heels for this guy and absolutely 'in love' ...and the family married them. (18+). Over the course of the years they had children. After many many years of commited life, this guy could not grow any 'balls.' He would continually appease every desire that his wife had. As often, she would push his boundries of what she could get away with. Started out small...and because he wanted to please her...he broke his own boundries. She wanted to do something, he allowed. After all ....it didn't involve sexuality..or disloyalty or adultery. So she broke his broundries over and over again...to see how far she can push his limits. Over a period of time....she got 'disgusted' with him. He wasn't the 'STRONG adamant...authorative man...that she once thought back when she was 18' ... He never grew...mentally....he stayed 18 years old. She kept pushing his limits...and he loved her so much that he let her. She started to grow an intense hatred for him...instead of respecting him enough to say 'i'm not going to take advantage of him...and respect whatever decisions he's already made for himself...and let him stick with it' ...she pushed..more and more. One day she started to cry and pray to God..'please let me fall back in love with him...please let me fall back in love with him' ....but the Respect was gone. So she gave up. She started going to bars...hanging out there...met a guy ...had an affair. Had her 'fling' ...developed 'strong feelings' etc.. She left her husband filed for divorce. ...lived with the 'new guy'...who was like a gem in her eyes. He would ask her for money and help, she would help as she could. Over a period of time, he needed a place to stay...so she went back to her ex...cause she knew he would let them stay. She didn't tell him they were datin g(i don't think) ...but just 'friends' ... the uncle...couldn't say no to his wife (ex)...cause he still loved her. So he didn't 'grow any balls' ...broke another boundry...and let them stay... The guy lived in the basement and at the end of it all.....he turned out to be a liar. He had money problems...was extortioning...and all the while hiding it from his girlfriend (the wife). the Uncle never knew about this until it was too late. Once he (the guy done with an affair) was done with her...he disappeared. She doesn't want to go back to her Ex (no love) ...and so they live together, but 'arn't married' because he can't say 'no' ...and she can't say 'yes.'
Now... Even though they both are in their 30's-40's ... Did either of them grow mentally? One couldn't get past the ability to say 'no' (the husband)...the other couldn't stop pushing the boundries on what she could get away with her 'daddy' (new male figure in her life). He did everything to make his 'mommy' happy ...so she'd stay and not leave......and SHE did everything to say how far she can get away with her 'daddy.' they both sat there...as kids...trying to either take advantage of their 'parent figure' (you know how they say..you marry your parents?..girl..to dad... boy to...mom)or ...never being able to say no...to make their mommy happy.
now...in all this I could be wrong, But I definately wanted to just spill my thoughts here and get some feed back. I'm tryingto understand what it means to 'get past the bloom of youth' ... because if THATS the case..., then someone as young as 16 can be ready for married because their frame of mind has to deal with situations that are 30 years old.....and someone as old as 30.....isn't ready for marriage because they're mentally 16.
That lead to my next thought.....how does someone mature ....mentally? I'm sure throwing a temper tantrum when you don't get something you want, is definately something that's childish... but at the same time....to what extent do we mature? ... and how?