I went and saw Snowden this weekend. Not to minimize your feelings because you are right, we go through a tremendous amount deprogramming from a cult. But seeing how a whistleblower is being treated by a mighty nation, ostracized to a foreign country, may help put in perspective your situation and realize there are others enduring worst situations.
Unfortunately it takes time to heal. And it doesn't help that you are continually dealing with family and friends still stuck in the cult. Give yourself permission to grieve and explore what is out there without guilt.
All I can say is it does get better.
Joy