Posts by gutted

33

How did you fill the void after leaving?

by gutted in

jw
friends

i'm curious about how people filled the void after leaving the jws.

i'm at a point, a bit over a year after leaving, where i am finding i have confronted the reality of my life and situation... and it's depressing.

i realize i have holes in my life (a significant other, social activities, something higher/beyond myself) which many worldly people naturally have filled but it feels unnatural for me, almost synthetic and it makes me more depressed the more i think about it.

gutted

I'm curious about how people filled the void after leaving the JWs. I'm at a point, a bit over a year after leaving, where I am finding I have confronted the reality of my life and situation... and it's depressing. I realize I have holes in my life (a significant other, social activities, something higher/beyond myself) which many worldly people naturally have filled but it feels unnatural for me, almost synthetic and it makes me more depressed the more I think about it. I know it's a part of my personality as well but I also know it's some of the pain of leaving. I almost missed (key word almost) the activites we had structured for us when we were JWs because they were our life.

What kinds of activities helped you to overcome those feelings?

91

WHAT`s YOUR FAVORITE BEER!

by OUTLAW in

jw
friends

i like molson canadian,except when i`m out of the country.then i only drink imported beer...molson canadian.

gutted

Hoegaarden, very tasty wheat beer.

7

Have The Summer Conventions Started Yet?

by jookbeard in

excuse if there is aatot , but wondering if any feed back/snippets and releases have been obtained by anyone, also of interest is the symposium on the 2nd day in particular the warnings of apostasy talk?.

gutted

Yes... and it's the first one I'm missing! I'm actually "supposed" to be there today, but alas I'm working... YAY!

8

How to reply to "I want to do more for the truth"?

by gutted in

jw
friends

hey guys,.

a little background first.

i have a friend who knows i am inactive, or at least knows i am doing little to nothing for the truth.

gutted

LOL @ charlie brown jr. Probably the best way to go!

68

Is there a correlation between personality type and leaving the WT?...

by Tuesday in

jw
friends

on facebook tonight there was a post asking to take a personality test, in posting the personality tests a trend started emerging that certain personality types seem to leave around the same time.. i came out as an intj which is introverted intuitive thinking judging.

which a good paragraph describing it was:.

intjs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "does it work?

gutted

Take these tests with a grain of salt: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_test#Criticism_and_controversy

I've taken this test a few times for the lols, mostly I come up as an INTJ, sometimes as an INFJ. I am defintely an introvert. I think it takes introspection to see what is happening with the bullshit with the org and how it affects us mentally. Of course extraverts can be introspective, no one is 100% one way or the other, even as the tests show. Also I bet more introverts like the format of a forum like this as it allows for thinking/analysis and ability to go over your responses before you submit them so there will be more bias in introverts replying to this thread. Just a hunch.

I think the closest to a correlation between personality type and leaving is probably introspection.

8

How to reply to "I want to do more for the truth"?

by gutted in

jw
friends

hey guys,.

a little background first.

i have a friend who knows i am inactive, or at least knows i am doing little to nothing for the truth.

gutted

Well Guest I did look seriously at becoming a Christian when I left and I sympathize with your point. I think it did help me for a time until I became more independant with my thinking but in my case I was actually a pretty upstanding JW at the time and didn't "lead a double-life". Though I think it might be a good route to go with him, I think it would just add more guilt and confuse him further.

For now I think I will question his state of happiness and what truly makes him happy and not focus on religious matters as that can get ugly pretty quick.

8

How to reply to "I want to do more for the truth"?

by gutted in

jw
friends

hey guys,.

a little background first.

i have a friend who knows i am inactive, or at least knows i am doing little to nothing for the truth.

gutted

Hey guys,

A little background first. I have a friend who knows I am inactive, or at least knows I am doing little to nothing for the truth. I get drunk with him occasionally and will have the odd cigar, swear, just regular guy stuff. I know he's fooled around quite a bit with a girl he was dating, to the point of being DFed if he came forward, so I have dirt on him though I would never use it.

Today he texts me the typical JW thinking of "I want to do more for the truth because I am unhappy". I've had these feelings too as JW, it is an engrained idea when things aren't going well. I said he's probably down because of his girl issue (they broke up recently), but he replies "yeah but I want to do more".

I was wondering if you guys had some subtle ideas to tell him that might change his thinking a bit. I'm still on the fence to really tell him anything because I've discussed with another mutual friend that he is quite in it mentally even though he leads a double-life.

I was thinking of saying something like "well do what you think is best", but he doesn't really know what's best for him.

Thanks!

116

I've Decided That It'll Be Best For Me To Return To The Kingdom Hall.

by Philadelphia Ponos in

jw
friends

after carefully evaluating the my current life situation, i've come to the conclusion that returning to the hall will be best for me.

i simply just don't fit in with the rest of the world.

i don't drink, smoke, have sex, go to clubs, listen to worldly music, watch movies, or gamble.

gutted

If I just find 10 JWs to be friends with and the other 6,999,990 are complete jerks, it'll still be much better than my current situation.

From my experience you can't have real friends in the JWs. I was always on guard with what I talked about, I couldn't express my real doubts or issues and if I did to some extent, what do I get? "Wait on Jehovah/new world/etc". I find with my new friends I don't have to be as guarded with what I say and hide my feelings, which is ultimately more healthy. There is no real discussion of issues with JWs because they have all the answers and will repeat the same loaded language time after time.

If you are ok with friends like that, and don't want to put in effort to find real friends, I say go for it.

Best of luck to you.

26

How Exciting Is Your Life?

by 1975 in

jw
friends

are your activities a happy and a positive one?

do you care to share some thoughts on having an exciting life?

if you do not have a happy life, are you making any plans in making your life exciting?.

gutted

Hmm good question. Well since I left I have made friends. I am currently starting a relationship with a girl. Just this weekend I went camping in the mountains. I am doing well in my workout routine. I enjoy live music.

At the end of the day I am an introvert and enjoy staying at home a lot and playing some video games and surfing the internet. I would say my life is more INTERNALLY exciting then externally, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Don't get me wrong a year on I still struggle with anxiety and self-esteem issues, but I'm getting there one day at a time.

116

I've Decided That It'll Be Best For Me To Return To The Kingdom Hall.

by Philadelphia Ponos in

jw
friends

after carefully evaluating the my current life situation, i've come to the conclusion that returning to the hall will be best for me.

i simply just don't fit in with the rest of the world.

i don't drink, smoke, have sex, go to clubs, listen to worldly music, watch movies, or gamble.

gutted

As stated your job sucks and it is obviously having a very negative impact on you. You are needing emotional support, do you have any friends or family outside of JWs you can confide in?

Quitting your job or talking with management would be great, but you can only guage that for yourself.

I honestly think you will not get the support you need at the hall. You are also stereotyping "worldly people" by the few people in your place of work as all being like that. Trust me they are not, and I can tell you that from experience. Just like at the hall, some are great and some are plainly just rude assholes.

Good luck!