Just wanted to interduce myself an give an quick synopsis.
I was a happy an healthy(ish) young man back in March 08. I was cornnered by a (didn't know it @ the time) JW who talked to me alot about "the truth" and why the world is like it is. He is a window cleaner in town, hence I didn't know as he wasn't in his suit. Everything he said made sense to me @ the time, but thinking back I wasn't @ my healthiest or strongest so he got me @ my weakest point. I enjoyed my first meeting (the memorial) and attended the next days Sunday meeting. I spent the next 18 months having a bible study, becoming a publisher then getting baptized and taking field service groups an doing talks on the podium. I was convinced beyond any doubt that it was "the truth", ish...
There were alot of things that I really didn't agree with or trully except. Such as the way they treat women (sisters) as below the brothers, being in subjection an such-like. Their out-look on gays, all other religions & anyone who isnt a jw. I understood and respected these to the extent that the bible shows, @ least their bible does, that these things are ment to be looked on this way. But many of the witnesses I knew had a very predudise outlook on others. Very judgmental an turned their noses up @ them alot. Just to name a few. I didn't deliberatly go out of my way to meet such people as it was their teaching th@ "bad associations spoil usfull habbits", I respected that, but didn't like the predudise attitude. I would has talked to people, old friends an such that were of such backgrounds.
That was just my thoughts but the fear I had of wanting to leave but couldn't stopped me saying anything. I didn't like the witness attitude, but as I were positive it was gods one true organization, I stayed and kept quiet. But many do th@. My silver lining if ye like was much more threttening on my life/health. After months of learning everything, I had no real life, it became all I knew. I lived for it, would has died for it. I was told to go out in all weathers knocking on doors, all hours. Study, not sleep. Was not allowed to has any me time, they constantly pump your life full of something to do/study so ye has no time for you or to do research on the WTBTS. I got ill. Months of tests an waiting an I were diognosed with M.E
Very horrible and extreamly debillitating. A long road that may never end. I am positive that it was triggered an fed by the witness "advice" of that I have just above stated. After which no one really cared. It went from "your so encouraging! keep going, your doing soo well!", to "he's just seaking attention/he don't have M.E he's just not eating right/your not even trying/can't be bothered".. It goes on an on. I last saw the majority of them on July 31st. Was a funeral gathering. Weeks, months past without anyone coming to see me, no calls, no text. Nothing. Most dissassociate themselves. They dissassociated me. I asked to be dissfellowshipped an was in October. The black (if looks could kill) I get when I sometimes see any of them about town! There are many scriptures that run through my head on a daily basis when I think of them, but two that stick out alot are "keeping an eye not on your personal interest upon just your own matters, but also in personal interests of those of the others". (Phill 2:4) Also (John 13:34,35) Jesus words, "I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this, all will know that you are my disiples, if you have love among yourselves". It really makes me laugh thinking about it. That they could have lied to my face like that for all that time. As soon as I am no use coz they made me ill, they disgard me like i'm nothing.
I have recently purchased Raymond Franz - Crisis Of Conscience. Just past the halfway mark. I blame them as uncaring and nasty people who outcast me after I got ill, granted. But after reading the book, so far anyway, I don't blame them, any of them, for even pounding it into me what I can and cannot do. I blame the WTBTS, I blame the Govening Body. The people @ the top who knowingly lie and manipulate their members for their own personal ends. Its beyond shocking an sick, some of the things they have done, put people through. Now I know and feel so sorry for everyone in the church I knew, an the millions I didn't, because they are unknowingly being dooped by these unethical men, who claim an swear blind to be gods one true channel on earth. Its evil.
That's my brief story. I really hope to talk to an meet other ex-jws who have been hurt by the group. I feel so alone most of the time, forgotten by everyone who cared. They are told I am dangerous so they cut me off. They don't know it is the cult they are locked into is the one who is the dangerous one. I wish I could help them all. Gotten so ill I now cannot work an am housebound the majority of the time. Hence, I feel so alone.
Thanksyou for reading if anyone does, sorry if I bored ye any too.
I look forward to hearing from anyone out there who wants to chat/corraspond on here. Sorry for any bad spelling, one of the probs with M.E is ye brain don't work how it used to but most of the time ye just go with it.
TC all... Drewmeister...
