Posts by thraxer68

85

I feel so alone within Jw's

by XPeterX in

why won't any jw call me?i always call them and they avoid me or meet me only for study and meetings.they won't even start a conversation with me on msn!i feel somewhat uncomfortable within jw 'friends'.i have prayed a lot about this all of my adolescent years and still no response.did this happen to you too?.

thraxer68

Peter, gosh, I know exactly where you're at, and if you're going through anything like what I went through, it is awful, I mean absolutely. It would take a little more knowledge of your situation to try and provide any further possibly more effective advice. If you have a belief in God but dont agree with WTBTS, read your bible. Despite what you may hear at the meetings, God loves us all as evidenced by the fact that Jesus gave his life for ALL of us. He knows YOU, by name, even the numbers of hairs on YOUR head. Keeping things like this in mind got me through some awful bouts of depression and suicidal ideation as a result of prolonged and intense feelings of isolation within the congregation. I dont know how extreme your situation is, but knowing that God will never leave you alone is the best feeling you can imagine. Read Romans 8:35-39, just one of my favorite, but there are plenty more....PM me with or post more specifics about your situation, Im sure we would all love to help you as much as we can.....

4

How about this?

by thraxer68 in

so, this might be more for those of us who were strong in the jw faith and possibly anyone who was strong in any other faith lie lds for example.

so we were all told that we need to believe, and be strong in that belief, and love what we believe, even to the point of death.

so you work on that.

thraxer68

So, this might be more for those of us who were strong in the JW faith and possibly anyone who was strong in any other faith lie LDS for example. So we were all told that we need to believe, and be strong in that belief, and love what we believe, even to the point of death. So you work on that. You think to yourself, "Would I surrender my life if a time came? Would I refuse a blood transfusion even if it meant me dying?" Like a good witness, of course you're gonna say yes because anything else, even some hesitancy could be perceived as not having a complete heart towards Jehovah, and he doesnt like those kinds of people, right? So you go along and try to convince yourself that believing all of it, living all of it, preaching teaching and breathing all of it, is what you want because it what you are told its what you are supposed to want, its God will so you cant go against the will of God, right? So you give it your best effort, you try, you pray for Jehovah to make you feel comfortable with believing all of it, especially when it doesnt make sense. However, I would be in the midst of this overly righteous mental tornado about how I love this organization and what Im looking forward to in the new world, and what I could do to better serve Jehovah, and it never failed, every time I would at least have a thought come into my head that would say something like, "What are you doing?" Like the real me talking to me just looking at me and evaluating all of the things I was thinking, saying, "Really?" Anybody else ever experience something like that? I swear Im not psychotic and its not some kind of disorder, just something would always tell me, make me realize it was a delusion, that I was flat out lying to myself, but I would go so hard against that and I would feel guilty when those thoughts came up. Anybody?

14

Anyone Else Ever Experience This?

by thraxer68 in

so as you da'd, were df'd, faded, or just mentally let go of everything you believed for so long, did you experience this weird transition phase of an "identitylessness"?

i think this might only apply to people who were "strong" in the faith.

as a strong witness, im sure those of us who were really took to heart and mind the things that we learned and counsel that the society produced.

thraxer68

Thanks everyone. Gosh, this is a lot tougher to deal with than I thought. Its getting a little better, slowly, a day at a time I guess. But yeah, I would definitely say that Cast Away fits pretty well. When I first started going to work or to the store or anywhere out in "the world", it was so weird because the way you look at everything completely changes. I used to be out running errands or just going through daily life and look at everything and think of how its gonna be destroyed and how im so lucky not to be lost out there. Those thoughts, that awareness, that kind of constant anxiety, that on guard against everything feeling, is gone, but its weird because I find myself asking, and this might sound kind of stupid, but I literally find myself asking myself something like, "What do I think about now?" I guess you just get soooooooo used to having a constant distrust of everyday life because you dont want something to effect your spirituality but then when that guard is taken down, its a weird feeling, like you dont know what to do or think. I guess I've been trying to change the way I perceive alot of things but its tough when that is all you have ever known. Its literally changing the way you look at everything because you no longer filter everything through that lens, wow, what an experience, its been interesting....

9

Just witnessed this...

by MrFreeze in

i just witnessed my mother and step father put the end to a friendship my 9 year old sister had with a "worldly" person.

it was heartbreaking.

this is someone she has been friends with for a few years and all of a sudden it's a problem now?

thraxer68

Yikes, that sounds rough. It seems to me that alot of the times Witnesses wield the sword wrecklessly as opposed to wielding it skillfully. In that process alot of damage is done to both people. Someone I know completely broke a friends heart when he decided to have zero contact with her whatsoever. They had been close friends for 8 or 9 years and then in an instant, he told her he was not going to have anything at all to do with her, she was absolutely devastated and that just broke her heart into pieces but its okay because its all in the name of righteousness, right?.......

18

What to Do? What to Do? What to Say?

by whathehadas in

i am inactive and trying to fade as some of you know.

since my family in still in, i've been recieving "we me you" cards from the congo i was going to.

i have also recieved a few calls from the congo i move from that's out of the area.

thraxer68

Sorry, i totally missed the part about the BOE calling you. Them I might not call, the guy who has cancer though, I would definitely call him....

18

What to Do? What to Do? What to Say?

by whathehadas in

i am inactive and trying to fade as some of you know.

since my family in still in, i've been recieving "we me you" cards from the congo i was going to.

i have also recieved a few calls from the congo i move from that's out of the area.

thraxer68

Yeah, thats a tough one. Correct me if i'm wrong, on the one hand you want to stay completely away from the religion and anything that has to do with it. On the other, you have a dying man who you want to call back, at least a little, but doing that goes against what you first want and brings added risks, being DF'd. Goodness, to me, not calling him back just seems so cold and inhuman. I would say to give him a call. Its a human life that may possibly end soon no matter what way you look at it. At the very least he's going to be going through a rough time, cancer treatment, may be not being able to get out in service, make meetings etc.... it's gonna be rough on him. You said that he was one that you had numerous conversations with about life issues, how did those go? was he helpful? If not spiritually, it was probably very helpful just to have someone during that time that you could talk to. Not to call him back just seems inhuman. It would be like a witness not calling back a dying relative because they were worldly and I dont think thats right. Your still human and so are they, so is he, even though you're in the particular situation that you are in now. You might be right, they might still be attached to you, why else would he call? You mean something to him, this dying man, at some level. I would call him, who knows what would come of it, but it would be a sad day for you if when he's gone, you were wishing you had called him back. As for the whole DF thing, what do you do? Do you maintain your own personal comfort at the expense of communicating with a man who helped you out at least on some level? From my own P.O.V. you owe him at least a phone call. Let him know that you're sorry for what he's going through and that you wish him the best. This conversation may lead to other things but I guess you gotta weigh your options. Thats just my opinion........

14

Anyone Else Ever Experience This?

by thraxer68 in

so as you da'd, were df'd, faded, or just mentally let go of everything you believed for so long, did you experience this weird transition phase of an "identitylessness"?

i think this might only apply to people who were "strong" in the faith.

as a strong witness, im sure those of us who were really took to heart and mind the things that we learned and counsel that the society produced.

thraxer68

So as you DA'd, were DF'd, faded, or just mentally let go of everything you believed for so long, did you experience this weird transition phase of an "identitylessness"? I think this might only apply to people who were "strong" in the faith. As a strong witness, im sure those of us who were really took to heart and mind the things that we learned and counsel that the society produced. The bible and the publications were our point of reference for literally everything. So when you let go, what becomes your point of reference? What do you hold onto internally as guiding principles that influence your everyday decision making? What things helped you and what didnt help you to come to a place where you were able to function in a way that you felt satisfied with while still maintaining some sort of compass? I guess Im asking, internally, what replaced the WBTS teachings that had guided you for so long?

29

Mormon vs JW experience

by thraxer68 in

i was browsing some ex-mormon forums and i noticed that many of the experiences sound similar.

people spoke about brain washing, viewing outsiders as being ignorant of the truth, im not sure if im allowed to copy and paste from other forums, if im not please let me know but here are a couple quotes from ex mormon forums:.

"something i very strongly believe, is that even though everything has crumbled to the ground for me right now, i wouldn't change the fact that i left the church for anything.

thraxer68

Interesting stuff, it just seems like while the finer details such as specific beliefs and technical things like temple as opposed to KH are different, it would appear that they are pretty similar in a more broad sense. I guess Im also kind of interested in the thought process of a DF'd or DA'd JW compared to that of an ex-mormon. I know that the experience of becoming an ex JW can be devastating. Is that experience similar to that of an ex-mormon? It doesn't appear that leaving either religion is a nice happy mutual disagreement kind of deal. I remember one member on this forum posted a list of their thoughts that they had. I dont remember the thoughts specifically but they included things to the effect of "Jehovah's going to destroy me", etc...there was along list. How does that cognitive aspect compare to that of an ex-mormon? Are the emotional and psychological effects as adverse? I don't know that mormons practice DF-ing or anything similar as a part of their doctrine, if they do then I would imagine it could be the same but Im not sure. Any info?

29

Mormon vs JW experience

by thraxer68 in

i was browsing some ex-mormon forums and i noticed that many of the experiences sound similar.

people spoke about brain washing, viewing outsiders as being ignorant of the truth, im not sure if im allowed to copy and paste from other forums, if im not please let me know but here are a couple quotes from ex mormon forums:.

"something i very strongly believe, is that even though everything has crumbled to the ground for me right now, i wouldn't change the fact that i left the church for anything.

thraxer68

I was browsing some ex-mormon forums and I noticed that many of the experiences sound similar. People spoke about brain washing, viewing outsiders as being ignorant of the truth, im not sure if im allowed to copy and paste from other forums, if im not please let me know but here are a couple quotes from ex mormon forums:

"Something I very strongly believe, is that even though everything has crumbled to the ground for me right now, I wouldn't change the fact that I left the church for anything. I know it's the source of my unhappiness, but it's not because I left "the truth" and am bitter about what I've done. No, it's because the church teaches to put religion before family, and that's what mine has done. I'm the odd one out, the outcast, the black sheep(I won't say ugly duckling, because I'm a dashing young fellow ) and it's all thanks to the church's mentality that they come first, and family comes second."

and another that I think ALOT of JW's can relate to:

"It's quite funny because the church constantly says how important the family is, but yet when a family member goes inactive or leaves altogether, it's all of a sudden an "us vs. them" attitude..."

"Whenever members of the church say, "Even if the church isn't true, it teaches good things!" I always think to myself, "OF COURSE they teach good things. Would they really garner any new members and retain their current members if they didn't have a front?"

The previous quotes were from one person, Heres one from another person on the same thread:

"Mormonism so clearly destroys families. You MUST conform or else you're out... It's like getting punched in the face, and having the aggressor apologize that you found it hurtful. They aren't even apologizing for what they've done; they are apologizing for how you have reacted."

Is leaving JW's difficult because you are in fact leaving "the truth", the church of God? or is it because you are leaving a controlling religion? It sounds to me like many of the experiences shared on this forum are common of both JW and Mormonism. I would imagine that leaving the church of the ONE TRUE GOD AND CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE would be different than leaving some crazy left field religion like LDS (in JW perception, I disagree with their teachings but this thread is not meant to debate theology). It would appear that having the true HOLY SPIRIT withdrawn from you would be quite a different experience than leaving a church who is not favored by God where you didnt have any Holy Spirit in the first place. However, many of the experiences sound the same. One question I have though is if there has been as much research into brainwashing and mind control in Mormonism as there has been in JW. I thought this would be a good opportunity to gather these quotes onto one thread to demonstrate the similarities between controlling authoritarian religions to show that the whole experience with JW's is fairly common and not unique to "the truth". Perhaps people with more insight and knowledge of both religions might be able to explain the similarities between the Mormon and JW experience more clearly and in depth. Thank you

23

Me

by Sighco in

just thought i should share a bit of my story with you all, i'm on this board everyday and can't stop reading.

i was raised as a witness by my mother and grandmother, dad and gramps weren't witnesses.

i was baptized at 15, i believed it was the truth but was still pushed into baptism by my mom, she thought it reflected negativly on her as a mother that i wasn't dipped yet.

thraxer68

Wow, thats really similar to what im going through right now. The whole realization is kind of a bittersweet experience in my opinion. It makes me happy to know what the bible really says but then sad to reflect on all of the years I bought into all of the falsehood, alot of wasted time and love for a big sham. Keep up reading your bible, this is an important step, im going through the same thing, it takes time but dont quit