Glad you're OK LB...I knew you would feel better after you'd had a rest. Even though we were on high alert for a time, you did the right thing by venting your feelings to us. I'm on the west coast of the U.S and read your comment late last night and was wondering about you on my commute in to work this morning. I was happy to log on here to find out you're ok.
Remember not to trust your feelings about life and the big picture when you're down or tired. You just won't be able to come up with anything hopeful when your tired or in a low mood. Remember the word H.A.L.T. as an acronym for Hungry, Angry, Lonley, Tired. If you are any of those things.....don't trust any thoughts you may have about the big picture.....pull yourself back into the moment and do something positive to comfort yourself in the now. Print out the( Poem ?) below and memorize it or keep it with you so that when you are feeling low, you can say it to yourself, replacing your negative thoughts with more positive ones, until you are feeling better.
JUST FOR TODAY
1. Just for Today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life-problem at once. I can do some things for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep them up for a lifetime.
2. Just for Today, I will be Happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness is from Within; it is not a matter of Externals.
3. Just for Today, I will Adjust myself to what Is, and not try to Adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come, and fit myself to them.
4. Just for Today, I will take care of my Body. I will exercise it, care for it, and nourish it, and not abuse it nor neglect it; so that it will be a perfect machine for my will.
5. Just for Today, I will try to strengthen my mind, I will study. I will learn something useful, I will not be a mental loafer all day. I will read something that requires effort, though and concentration.
6. Just for Today, I will exercise my Soul. In three ways, to wit:
(a) I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count.
(b) I will do at least two things I don’t want to do, as William James suggests just for exercise.
(c) I will not show any one that my feelings are hurt. They may be hurt, but Today I will not show it.
7. Just for To-day, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with flattery, criticize not one bit nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate nor improve anybody.
8. Just for Today, I will have a Programme. I will write down just what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I’ll have it. It will save me from the two pests Hurry and Indecision.
9. Just for Today, I will have a quiet half hour, all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, some time, I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective to my life.
10. Just for Today, I will be Unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to be Happy, to enjoy what is Beautiful, to love and to believe that those I love love me.
(Copyright, 1921 by Frank Crane)