SD-7, I am using my last post for the day on your post. It touched me deeply. The fact is my wife and I were on the same road. As my screen name implies I am an elder, although not when my wife and i were married. I was an MS though. It was never good enough. there was no level of theocracy I could attain to that would satisfy her. It wasn't until I started feeling like I didn't care about her one way or another that things actually got better. She was simply put too young and immature to get married, and frankly I was no better. It was three or four years of living hell. In the end when I started to handle things as I saw fit and didn't give a damn about her reaction things calmed down. I was doing my part to feed into it by arguing with her. Now, after many years and a lot of focused effort to keep cool we can talk about things. She didn't want me to take our son to see avatar when it came out. We talked for a hot minute about it and I left it as unless she could give me some solid reason not to see it it was personal opioion and I was fine with it. The fact that they were blue was no different than if they were green or yellow or black or white. we saw it, she got over it. end of story. Don't let her desire for a fight ruin your life. You can make a decision and move with it. Remind her that as a Christian woman she is subject to her husband. or does that only apply when it convenient? lol just kidding i have used that line and it never seemed to go over well. The truth is you need to be patient with her and kind. Recognize that you cant control her but you CAN and SHOULD control yourself. In all things. Watch what you want. go where you want. Invite her to join you. let her know she's important but live with no regrets over things you missed out on just because of her. thats only my .02 but it saved our marriage in its own way. You say you are not fit to be "head of the family".. that only true if you believe it. There is always more than one way to get something done effectively. As husband, pick the best way for your family, and roll with it. She can get in line or not but at least you and your's will be MOVING FORWARD in the best way you know how. That is the essence of being a husband IMHO. Perhaps you could read up on dogs. Dogs have a great social structure, including both a Male and Female Alpha. Read the book that the movie "never cry wolf" was based on. It describes the best example of a family head I have ever read. The Alpha male kept order but did everything possible to protect and care for the pack. He even sacrificed himself when the time came. He never abused the pack, he worked within the bounds of what could only be called love. He treated the young ones with compassion and understanding while still being the "boss" when needed. no one is born a good family head. it takes time. please work on it and be paitent with yourself. build your self confidence. dont rely on her for a pat on the back. you can do it. It was profound for me to learn from the humble dog. perhaps it will help you. We may now turn the thread over to all the woman so I may be bashed as sexist and misogynistic
