It's all about creating guilt. You can't manipulate an innocent person, but make them a sinner, make them guilty of their own natures and they can be told what to do to that much more easily.
corpusdei
JoinedPosts by corpusdei
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Awake 7/2012: YPA Are we just friends or more? pt.2 (with running snarkiness)
by corpusdei inoriginal article here.
more snark here.
young people ask - are we just friendsor more?
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Awake 7/2012: YPA Are we just friends or more? pt.2 (with running snarkiness)
by corpusdei inoriginal article here.
more snark here.
young people ask - are we just friendsor more?
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corpusdei
Original article here
More snark hereYOUNG PEOPLE ASK - Are we just friends—or more? PART 2
In terms of sequals, I'd much rather have had a second season of Firefly, but this is a close second.
......No it's not. Not in any way is this close to a second season of Firefly. In the list of Very Good Things, this is maybe a distant second to an alternate universe populated entirely by mosquitoes. Or a world in which Justin Bieber has been crowned emperor. Even Michigan is higher on my list than this thing.IN OUR PREVIOUS ISSUE, we considered two facts of life.
- When you get emotionally involved before you’re ready for a serious relationship, you will get hurt. —Proverbs 6:27.
- When you get emotionally involved before you’re ready for a serious relationship, you can lose a good friendship. —Proverbs 18:24.
Well, we didn't so much "consider" it as much as we "endured the literary equivalent of a mugging"IN THIS ISSUE, we’ll discuss
- A third fact of life about getting emotionally involved
Oh goody. - How you can tell if you have crossed the line in your friendship with someone of the opposite sex
You know, you could just save us the trouble and reprint some articles from the Penthouse Forum. That'd be just as educational and so much more entertaining!FACT OF LIFE: When you get emotionally involved before you’re ready for a serious relationship, you can hurt your reputation. Mia* says: “I’ve seen boys who are friends with many girls. Basically, they’re 'players.' Wow. "Players"? You really went there? The girls think there’s something going on, but the boy just enjoys the female attention.”
* Some names in this article have been changed.
I always love to see the whole "Some names have been changed" bit. And they include it in every. single. f*cking. article. Come on, guys, we know these quotes are made up, just like we know you're the high command of the U.S.S. Make Sh*t Up, so you can drop the act.To think about:
- Whether you’re a boy or a girl, how can getting too close to those of the opposite sex affect your reputation? “Texting people of the opposite sex is a huge pitfall. You start by texting just a bit to one person, but soon you’re texting a lot and to many people. Before you know it, you’re pretty much dating three different boys, and each one thinks he is the ‘special one’ you’re getting to know better. When they ?nd out the truth, they get hurt — and you get the reputation of being a flirt.” —Lara. Editors note to "Faceless Witness Ghost Writer#6342-9/B": I'm glad to see you're conforming to the party line and have trotted out the Slippery Slope argument. But it's still not quite enough. Try "You start by texting just one person. Then you're texting a lot. Then you're texting farm animals. Then you get disfellowshipped, your life is ruined, you get AIDS and then you die. Oh, and Jehovah is very disappointed."The Bible says: “Even by his practices a boy [or a girl] makes himself recognized as to whether his activity is pure and upright.” —Proverbs 20:11.
The bottom line: It isn’t wrong to socialize with members of the opposite sex. But if you don’t have boundaries, you can cause yourself grief, damage a good friendship, and harm your reputation. Every time they pull a quote from Proverbs, I really have to question the wisdom of taking relationship advice from a book written by a guy who had possibly the largest harem in history, along with the opportunity to shag the Queen of Sheba. You wanna talk 'players', I think he fit the bill.TRUE STORY: “I was friends with a boy, and we got along really well. But then I noticed our conversations were getting longer and more personal. I could tell we were getting a little too close because he would tell me all his concerns. Then one day he e-mailed me and told me he had feelings for me. See what happens when you use that demon technology? See? SEE???I didn’t know what to say. Part of me was flattered — it’s nice when someone thinks you’re special. What, was Jehovah thinking you're special not good enough for you?But I was worried. I knew we couldn’t continue being ‘just friends’ because obviously he thought we were more than that. I knew that if I told him we were too young to have a romantic friendship, he’d be hurt. I told my parents about the whole thing, and they emphasized how important it was for me and for the boy to limit our contact. And here we have the apex of Witness ideology - You're incapable of moral independence, but don't worry, someone else will tell you what to do. That experience made me realize how quickly something can go from completely innocent to very serious. And since then, I’ve been careful to limit my association with the opposite sex, especially when texting. It also helps to socialize in groups rather than pair off. That way your conversations don’t become too personal and your connection with the other person doesn’t become too strong.”—Elena.
TRUE STORY: All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of Jack Daniels. During college my liver needed a crash helmet. And it was awesome.BOUNDARIES
DO
- associate in easily manipulatedgroups
- get acquainted with disappointment
- enjoy conversation about the watchtower. Be cautious of any subject that might lead to use of logic or rational thoughtDON’T
- pair offLook what happened to Samson. He paired off with Delilah, got crabs, and ended up dead. And Jehovah was very disappointed
- confide Because confiding in someone means that you're sharing a secret, and you shouldn't have any secrets, should you?
- flirt Flirting is dirty. Every time you flirt an angel gets a case of the clap (sorry, this article is just ripe for STD jokes).How can you tell if you’ve crossed the line? Oh, this should be good.One way is to ask yourself, 'Has a friend of the opposite sex become my sole confidant?' Well that was a let-down. “If you’re really just friends with a boy,” says a girl named Erin, “he shouldn’t be the first person you want to talk to every day or the first person you want to tell major news to. He definitely shouldn’t be the one you turn to for emotional comfort.” Remember, the ultimate goal here is manipulation. By creating an alienation during the normal process of adolescence, while managing to instill a sense of guilt over it, you pave the way towards an adult who will, hopefully, be unable or unwilling to create any social connection that is not "approved of" by the Witnesses. You get an adult who has, brick by brick, built their own prison for you.
To think about:
- Why might it seem appealing to make someone of the opposite sex your sole confidant? That could be because it's a natural, normal stage of human development. Just, you know, a thought. But what are the dangers? Jesus, you might grow up somewhat less damaged than your peers. Can't have that. "The boys that I know are not my closest friends. I don’t speak with them on the phone for hours as I might with a girlfriend. And there are some topics I simply won’t discuss with them.” —Rianne. "... as I might with a girlfriend"? No 16 year old girl talks like that, that's not even remotely believable. It sounds like it was written by a 40 year old guy who's had his spirit, soul and happiness crushed. "Faceless Witness Ghost Writer#6342-9/B" - you're slipping!The Bible says: “Be careful what you say ...A careless talker destroys himself.”—Proverbs 13:3, Good News Translation. I always wonder when they quote from any bible other than the NWT. So, in an article that's been spending a hell of a lot of effort to dance around saying "don't get into a relationship because then you might have S. E. X., the NWT of that scripture is: "The one guarding his mouth is keeping his soul. The one opening wide his lips—he will have ruin." No. No innuendo there. Not at all.
Consider: Is there a risk in revealing too much about yourself to someone of the opposite sex? What if your friendship eventually fades? "What if it fades? You've just spent an article and a half convincing us that any relationship under the age of 25 is automatically doomed to go down in flames. Of syphilis. Syphilis flames of doom await any romance until you're ready to get married. None of this if malarky. Will you regret having revealed such details to that person? OK, snark aside for a moment. I've been there, and taken this advice. You want to know what I regret? I regret not confiding in someone else. I regret never reaching out and learning that I could be special in the eyes of one of my peers. I regret spending my adolescence hating myself because I couldn't burn these sinful thoughts out of me. I regret not being allowed to feel normal, ever. You assholes. A teenager named Alexis sums it up well. She says: “Don’t avoid someone just because that person is of the opposite sex. On the other hand, don’t lie to yourself and say that you’re just friends when you’re not. Keep your feelings in check, and you’ll avoid a lot of pain.” In all of the YPA articles, you'll notice that there's a big emphasis on avoiding pain. Makes sense, I mean who doesn't want to avoid pain, right? (Well, there was that one girl I dated for awhile, but that's beside the point) But the idea here isn't to avoid pain - it's to avoid experience. True, some experience may end up hurting, but even that ends up being a learning experience - the pain of a bad experience will help you make better decisions in the future. More importantly, it will make you understand that pain ends, that you can get through it and out the other side a stronger person. It makes you more self-reliant. But that's not what the Witnesses want. Self-reliant people don't need someone else to control them. Much better to keep people in fear of pain than in helping them understand that they can overcome it.
WHY NOT ASK YOUR PARENTS? Because it's easy to guess what they'd say. Exactly what you tell them to.
Ask your parents for their thoughts on the two “To think about” questions in this article. Do their opinions differ from yours? If so, how? And if your opinion is different from theirs, rest assured - you're wrong.What merit can you see in their point of view?—Proverbs 1:8. Nice scripture. Here's another one that's a little more effective - Leviticus 20:9 - "In case there should be any man who calls down evil upon his father and his mother, he should be put to death without fail"WHAT YOUR PEERS SAY
I have no peersAndre — The more time you spend with a girl, the easier it is for feelings to grow and the more that person will think you’re interested in a romantic friendship. If your goals don’t allow for a relationship right now, then don’t make it appear as if you’re trying to start one.
Cassidy — I tend to be outgoing, and since I grew up around boys, I’m very comfortable with them — which is not always a good thing. Treating a boy the way I would a girlfriend is not good — it can give the wrong idea. Treating a boy as if he were my brother is the way to go! Remember, boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.A NOTE TO PARENTS See, told you they'd be telling the parents what to say. Am I some sort of demon-possessed psychic or what?
In proper settings, it’s not wrong for young people to socialize with members of the opposite sex. But those who aren’t ready to pursue a relationship that could lead to marriage need to set boundaries. For them, opposite-sex friendships should be just that—friendships and nothing more. Crush any sign of adolescent happiness. It's better on the long run, they'll struggle less when we crush their happiness as adults.What results when two people get emotionally involved before they’re ready for a serious relationship? Gonorrhea? Any initial thrill soon gives way to frustration. It’s like sitting in a car that has no wheels. Sounds like something that should have been on that "Avoid" list awhile back.Sooner or later, the boy and girl realize that the relationship can’t go anywhere. And why is it that the relationship can't go anywhere? Oh yea, because you said it can't. Neat the way that works, innit?Some may begin to date secretly — a situation that is fraught with moral pitfalls. Because helping them learn be responsible in a relationship just doesn't make sense. They might get ideas. Others break up — a process that can leave both feeling cheated, hurt, and even depressed. Serve Jehovah! Be an emotional cripple! Nifty!How can you help your adolescent to avoid the treacherous path of a premature romance? I've got it. Explain to them the emotional trauma inherent in premature ... um ... other things.— Ecclesiastes 11:10.
The key is to keep an open door of communication with your adolescent when it comes to opposite-sex friendships. That way you’ll be aware of it — and available to help — if a friendship starts to become something more. You can just feel the itch in this entire article, the WTBTS is just biding its time until they perfect a way to lock children away for 18 years while they're programmed to be nice, clean little Witness adults who never question or search for any independence. I can see them watching "The Matrix" and going "Wow, do you think we could get away with that?"
Some parents unwittingly close the door to that part of their adolescent’s social life. Consider what some youths told Awake!
“I always wanted to talk to my mom about whom I was attracted to, but I held back because I thought she would overreact.” — Cara. Cara, Cara, Cara, how could you EVER think that?
“When I’d tell my mom I was attracted to a boy, she would say, ‘Don’t expect me to be at your wedding!’ Yea, that's the Witness reaction I'd expect to see. rather than ‘So tell me about your friend. What do you like about him?’ Had my mom asked questions like those, I might have been more receptive to her advice.” — Nadeine. Yet again, Nadeine (much like Rianne and, well, every other "teen" quoted here) still sounds like "Faceless Witness Ghost Writer#6342-9/B".In contrast, note the difference when parents have patiently listened and then provided practical guidance.
“My parents didn’t overreact when I told them about a boy I was attracted to. They said what I needed to hear, but they were understanding of my feelings. Because of that, I find it easier to listen to their advice and open up to them further.”—Corrina.No, Doctor. She fell down some stairs.
“When my parents opened up about whom they liked when they were younger — even explaining why a certain relationship didn’t work out — it helped me to realize that it was OK for me to talk to my parents about having feelings for someone.”—Linette. Ran right into an open cabinet door, just wasn't looking where she was going, Doc.Realize, too, that sometimes there are underlying factors behind premature romances.
“When I was secretly dating a boy, it was because he made me feel happy and he listened to me.” — Annette.
“There’s this one boy I always enjoyed being around. He always gave me attention, which is my weakness. I love attention, good or bad.” — Amy. Can I, um, maybe get Amy's number?
“When my parents sincerely tell me that I look beautiful or that a certain outfit looks good on me, I feel less of a need to get that same sort of compliment from a boy.” — Karen.Ask yourself:
How can I make myself more approachable to my adolescent? — Philippians 4:5.
Am I “swift about hearing, slow about speaking”? — James 1:19.
How can I reduce the temptation for my adolescent to look outside the home for love and approval? — Colossians 3:21.The bottom line: Help your adolescent to learn how to keep friendships with the opposite sex aboveboard and problem free. It’s a skill that will serve him or her well in adulthood. — Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6. But isn't Armageddon just around the corner again? If we're planning that far ahead, then I guess I've got enough time to head out to that "Wow, this is gonna be awkward tomorrow morning" party I've been looking forward to.
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Got to introduce my wife to actual barbeque over the weekend! (Recipe below for you cookish types)
by corpusdei inas a southerner, being married to one of them damn yankees has good points and bad points.
not so good - watching her dad throw chicken on the grill, cover it in store-bought sauce and call it bbq.
its a testament to my upbringing that i let that one slide.
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corpusdei
out4good3>> *worships* Very true, that is BBQ in it's most pure form. Never tried pecan wood - my uncle always swore by apple and persimmon.
And lighter fluid is the tool of the devil.
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Got to introduce my wife to actual barbeque over the weekend! (Recipe below for you cookish types)
by corpusdei inas a southerner, being married to one of them damn yankees has good points and bad points.
not so good - watching her dad throw chicken on the grill, cover it in store-bought sauce and call it bbq.
its a testament to my upbringing that i let that one slide.
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corpusdei
Well, NewChapter, the barbeque gods are kind and exist in an eternal state of mild inebriation. And there are many gods in my culinary pantheon, so "I'm not a fan of barbeque" is still heresy, but as long as you haven't committed the sin of Burning Of The Meal, it's certainly forgivable. :)
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Got to introduce my wife to actual barbeque over the weekend! (Recipe below for you cookish types)
by corpusdei inas a southerner, being married to one of them damn yankees has good points and bad points.
not so good - watching her dad throw chicken on the grill, cover it in store-bought sauce and call it bbq.
its a testament to my upbringing that i let that one slide.
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corpusdei
As a Southerner, being married to one of them damn yankees has good points and bad points. Not so good - Watching her dad throw chicken on the grill, cover it in store-bought sauce and call it BBQ. It’s a testament to my upbringing that I let that one slide. It was still a great meal - the man knows how to grill - but I couldn’t help but feel a little like I’d disappointed some of my heritage.
Which brings me to one of the high points - getting to have her folks over, fire up the grill and showing them how it’s done.
NOTE: I will say that even this isn’t the truest barbeque, but it’s about as close as you can get with a conventional outdoor grill. The purist method would be with hickory or apple woodchips in a separate side burner so the meat never sees direct heat above 300. But this is good enough that I might be forgiven the final step.
Step the first - The Spice
1/2 cup paprika
1/4 cup salt
1/4 cup sugar
2 tablespoons mustard powder
1/8 cup chile powder
1/4 cup ground cumin
2 tablespoons ground black pepper
1/4 cup granulated garlic
2 tablespoons cayenne (or less to taste)
Combine in a container and mix well. This will make about 2 cups worth, so you should have more than enough to save for later. Rub the spice into the chicken, stash the meat back in the fridge and get to making the magic.
Step the second - The Sauce
2 cups ketchup
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
2 tablespoons molasses
2 tablespoons prepared yellow mustard
1 tablespoon The Spice (recipe above)
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
Hot sauce (such as Tabasco) to taste
Mix in a sauce pan, bring to a boil, and then let simmer for 10 - 15 minutes. Taste and have the first flavorgasm of the afternoon.
Step the third - The Grill
Get the coals burning and wait until they’re covered with a fine white ash. Now this is the important part - Bank them all to one side of the grill and put the chicken on the _other_ side, as far away from the direct heat as you can get. (Oh, and don’t go jumping the gun and putting the sauce on yet, don’t you dare.) Cover and let them sit for about 15 minutes. Then flip and rotate so that the pieces farthest away from the coals go to the front to ensure they’re cooked evenly. Cover and let them sit for another 15 minutes.
While you’re waiting, go back and get some of the sauce and a basting brush. Taste again and marvel at what an incredible cook you are. Feel free to do so out loud.
After the 15 minutes has passed, the chicken should be at an internal temp of around 160 - 165. Now for the last part. Now, and only now do you put the BBQ sauce on. Slather it on a couple of pieces, flip them over onto the area right above the coals and coat the other side. Be very careful not to let them burn, you’re looking to get a nice sear on the sauce. Flip the pieces and coat the upside again with sauce. You want around 3 layers of sauce on each side, exposed to the high heat only long enough to make it bubble and caramelize. DO NOT STEP AWAY FROM THE GRILL. They’re real easy to burn at this point, and if you burn them you go to hell. Literally, the pope told me so. You’ll know you’re getting to the sweet spot when the sauce starts sticking to your tongs.
Once they’re done, set them on a plate and do the rest in the same way. Serve with beer and triumph. -
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For Perry: the most distant known object in the Universe.
by BurnTheShips inhttp://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4274187/.
this object is 13 billion light-years away.. light travels 300,000 kilometers per second.. it took 13 billion years for us to receive the light that was recorded as the image in the article:.
buy a cheap telescope at a department store, and you can see the andromeda galaxy easily.
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corpusdei
Perry wrote to me on the Noah's ark thread, page 3, that God, master of time, manipulates things so they only look billions of years old...from our human perspective.
I guess this kind of falls in line with the whole "God put dinosaur bones there to test our faith" thing? I've got to nod to the late great Mr. Hicks on this one, he said it best: "Doesn't it worry anyone else that God might be out there f*cking with our heads?"
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Awake 6/2012: YPA Are we just friends or more? pt.1 (with running snarkiness)
by corpusdei in"that's right timothy.
just ask timothy.
i don't feel like the appropriate person to answer that question.
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corpusdei
Disillusioned Lost-Lamb>> Well, it seemed to work out well for Paul (though not so much for Timothy).
And no, I'm still completely unable to get over that whole circumcision thing. Just ... damn.
Magwitch>> No kidding. As someone who grew up reading these, I personally find it creepy how completely the WTBTS works to inculcate the dogma in kids. What teen, especially a Witness teen, isn't scared, confused, and searching for answers? As far as I'm concerned, the WTBTS exploits that vulnerability, providing a thinly veiled “Do what we tell you, don’t question us, and everything will be fine” message, over and over and over again. It's a move that'd make Phillip Morris proud - hook'em while they're young!
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Awake 6/2012: YPA Are we just friends or more? pt.1 (with running snarkiness)
by corpusdei in"that's right timothy.
just ask timothy.
i don't feel like the appropriate person to answer that question.
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Have you read Athiests book of bible stories or similar and still believed the bible is the word of God?
by jemba ini had never questioned things in the bible.
i often thought something was strange considering jehovah was supposed to be so loving.
but never thought to see the bible as anything other than my jw upbringing taught me.. i now think the bible is a bunch of fairytales and have a whole lot less respect for the creator... if there is one..
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corpusdei
While putting together a post about the likelyhood that Adam and Eve didn't exist, I came across this gem of a line, directly from the Reasoning From the Scriptures book:
"Denial that Adam was a real person who sinned against God implies doubt as to the identity of Jesus Christ. Such denial leads to rejection of the reason it was necessary for Jesus to give his life for mankind. Rejection of that means repudiation of the Christian faith."
I really couldn't have put it better muself.
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Awake 6/2012: YPA Are we just friends or more? pt.1 (with running snarkiness)
by corpusdei in"that's right timothy.
just ask timothy.
i don't feel like the appropriate person to answer that question.
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corpusdei
Realized the other day that I haven't gotten my snark on with a YPA article in awhile.
YOUNG PEOPLE ASK - Are we just friends — or more?
Every time I read that title I hear a dramatic dum-DUM-dummmm sound in my headPART 1
DID A PARTICULAR PERSON COME TO MIND WHEN YOU READ THE ABOVE TITLE?
Yes, since you asked. Gillian Anderson and Allison Hannigan. Doing things that would make Ron Jeremy gasp, go white and steady himself on the nearest chair. Possibly not relevant to this article, but that's what ... um ... popped up.-> YES - READ THIS ARTICLE IMMEDIATELY. YOU MAY NEED IT MORE THAN YOU REALIZE.
Awesome. Will it help me make that whole Gillian / Allison thing happen?-> NO - READ THIS ARTICLE ANYWAY. IT WILL HELP YOU TO KEEP YOUR FRIENDSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX ABOVEBOARD AND PROBLEM FREE.
Crap. Guess this is more of a "Guide To Living In The Friend Zone" kind of article.Mark the following statement true or false:
I shouldn’t have friends of the opposite sex until I’m ready for a serious relationship that could lead to marriage. TRUE FALSE
TRICK QUESTION! TRICK QUESTION!!!!!!!!Consider: Although he wasn’t looking to get married, Jesus had friends of the opposite sex. Dude, he was friends with a hooker!!! (Matthew 12:46-50; Luke 8:1-3) Evidently, so did the single man Timothy, for the apostle Paul told him to treat “younger women as sisters with all chasteness.”—1 Timothy 5:1, 2. Did you know Paul freaking circumcised Timothy after they started hanging out? That's right. Acts 16:3. Paul grabbed Tim's junk and hacked bits off. I think Timothy prolly got the message there.
Paul must have realized that as Timothy served in various congregations, he would meet a number of young women. (Mark 10:29, 30) Would it be wrong for Timothy to socialize with them? No. But since he wasn’t pursuing marriage yet, Timothy would need to set boundaries so that he wouldn’t get romantically involved, certainly not ?irting with those young women or otherwise toying with their feelings.—Luke 6:31. I'm starting to wonder if Timothy was the Biblical equivalent of one of the Jersey Shore guys. "That's right Timothy. You NEVER fall in love at Thessalonica!!!!!"
What about you? Are you in a position to pursue marriage? Damn you're needy. Oh, wait, it's another of those "Choose your own adventure" questions
If YES -> Your friendships with members of the opposite sex may well lead to finding a lifelong mate. —Proverbs 18:22; 31:10. Yea, King Solomon was one to talk. He didn't stop at just one wife. Dude had hundreds, but you didn't see anyone trying to hack off bits of his junk at 20 years old, did ya?
If NO -> You need to set boundaries. (Jeremiah 17:9) Easier said than done? Absolutely! “It’s difficult to maintain a just-friends relationship,” says 18-year-old Nia. “It’s not easy to know where to draw the line.” Protip: Grabbing someone else’s junk is usually a good start on where that whole line thing starts. Just ask Timothy. Before some older guy starts coming at my groin with a gleam in his eye and a knife in his hand, we better be a whole hell of a lot more than just friends.
Why do you need to draw a line at all? Because if you don’t, you’re bound to get hurt or hurt others. Consider why.
Sidebar: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
TRUE STORY: “I texted a friend of mine who lives about a thousand miles (over 1,500 km) away. We texted each other perhaps once a week. I wasn’t interested in him romantically, and I didn’t think he was interested in me either. Then, one day he sent me a text that read: ‘Hey, beautiful! I miss you. What have you been up to?’ I was stunned! I told him that I viewed our relationship as just friends and that I wasn’t interested in him romantically. He texted back, ‘Whatever.’ And then he never texted me again.”—Janette. Well, did you consider that he might have just been being friendly and you jumping immediately to "I don't want to date you!!!!!!" juuuuuust might have come across as a little creepy? And besides, you're a Witness, what are you doing texting? Isn't that a gateway drug to worldly things, like Facebook?
- If you’re not in a position to be in a serious relationship or are not inclined to be in one, how would you respond if you received a text message similar to the ones Janette received? Ummmm...."Tits or GTFO". But that's just me.
- If you are a boy, do you think the text messages sent to Janette were appropriate? Why, or why not? Well, it could have been worse. He could have told her that his 50 year old buddy just chopped off bits of his wiener and then asked her if she wanted to see. (Sorry, I'm still having trouble getting past that)
- In your opinion, does texting make it easier to get emotionally involved than face-to-face discussions do? Why, or why not? I don't feel like the appropriate person to answer that question. Most of my texts begin with "Don't judge me, but ..."
FACT OF LIFE: When you get emotionally involved before you’re ready for a serious relationship, someone will get hurt. “It happened to me twice,” says 19-year-old Kelli. “One time I developed feelings for a boy, and the other time a boy started having feelings for me. Both times someone got hurt, and it has left me with scars that I carry to this day.” Wow. "Scars that I carry to this day"???? Overdramatic much? Guess what, getting your heart broken hurts just as much when you're 30 and telling the hooker that you don't have the cash this week. Pain is a necessary fact of life. If you're that traumatized by two brakeups, then maybe the Witnesses really are the perfect place for you to be.
To think about:
- In what settings would it be proper for you to socialize with members of the opposite sex? What settings would you do well to avoid? Oh, oh, I know this one!!!!! The proper setting would be "only at public, Witness-approved functions under the watchful eye of your Elders". Settings to avoid would be places like the Jersey Shore. Or Thessalonica if Timothy is in the hizzouse.
- Why is it unwise to pair off with the same person repeatedly? What might the other person assume? What might you assume? Again, I'm not too sure how well-equipped I am to answer this one. I've tried it a couple of times, and it usually ended up involving a can of mace and a restraining order.
“At times, I have lied to myself, saying, ‘Oh, we’re just friends. He’s like a brother to me.’ But then when he moves on, I feel hurt—as if he owed me something.”—Denise.
The Bible says: “Sensible people will see trouble coming and avoid it, but an unthinking person will walk right into it and regret it later.”—Proverbs 22:3, Good News Translation. And I say "Crazy in the head, crazy in the sack. Just make sure nobody gets knocked up" -Tallywacker 8:16, Gospal of Me
Picture Caption: Getting emotionally involved when you’re not ready for a serious relationship will lead to disaster If you've got a copy of the Awake, this is a picture of a couple in a rowboat on a river. He's going all googly-eyed while rowing right towards a waterfall. I can't tell you how many rowboats I've wrecked that way.
FACT OF LIFE: When you get emotionally involved before you’re ready for a serious relationship, you can lose a good friendship. “A boy and I would text each other,” recalls 16-year-old Kati, “but soon he began ?irting and we were texting each other almost every day. Then one day he told me how much he liked me and that he wanted to be more than just friends. The problem was, I didn’t like him in a romantic way at all. After I told him that, we seldom talked, and our friendship ended.” Here's another interesting fact. Denying kids the chance to develop the social and emotional skills necessary for mature development really screws them up when they are ready to develop serious relationships.
To think about:
- Who got hurt in Kati’s case, and why? Could Kati or the boy have prevented a negative outcome? If so, how? Their parents, most likely, especially if they didn't have an unlimited-text plan on their phones. That shit gets expensive.
- When texting, in what ways could a person unwittingly give the impression that he or she would like to be more than just a friend? Gotta tell you, when I was 16, all it would take would be for her to sodding respond. Didn't matter if the response was "Aren't you that creepy kid that doesn't celebrate birthdays?". Hell, even just looking in my general direction was a good sign.
“Sometimes I’ve had to pull myself back. Boys can be great friends, but I didn’t want to mess up the friendship by being more than that.”—Laura.
The Bible says: “Smart people watch their step.” —Proverbs 14:15, Good News Translation. Fortune Cookie time!!!! "Smart people watch their step ... in bed!!!!" Meh, it sounded funnier in my head.
The bottom line: Socializing with members of the opposite sex isn’t wrong in itself. But if you’re not ready for a serious relationship that could lead to marriage, you need to set boundaries. Very, very true. Boundaries are important. Just ask Timothy (and get him another pack of ice for his crotch and maybe some penicillin. The whole idea of "sterilizing medical instruments" still hadn't really caught on yet.
IN THE NEXT “YOUNG PEOPLE ASK” . . .
Getting emotionally involved before you’re ready for a serious relationship can damage your reputation — find out how. And in the next YPA, I do some serious searching for girls with that kind of reputation.