Posts by ABibleStudent

130

Involved with a JW woman

by jonza in

okay so i'm dating a born-in jw woman, she's younger than me and has no kids.

i'm a christian man whos divorced with 2 kids.

we're in love and seriously want to be together.

ABibleStudent

jonza - . . . I've also said that I have doubts about if we should be together about the WT being put first etc and again she becomes very emotional. To the point of saying, she absolutely hates religion and wants nothing to do with it at all. Again, I believe this is just her in the moment excuse to try to get me not have any doubts about being with her. I think this is part of the manipluation that's been mentioned, something I've saw in her a loooong time ago..

Hi jonza, What you have experienced is your GF's authentic and cult personas. Can you imagine how confusing your relationship would become having her switch between her authentic and cult persona? I loved my former friend's authentic persona, but did not like that her cult persona was so much stronger than her authentic persona and I did not know how to communicate with her cult persona. I have a better idea how to communicate with her cult persona now, but I would not even want her as a friend as long as she doesn't critically think for herself. Too much unnecessary drama.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

16

Ding Dong . . .

by ABibleStudent in

h'mmm, it is almost 11:00 am on a wednesday.

i wonder if it is a jw.. to the best of my knowledge the following happened, but i did get a little excited during our intial conversation and what transpired later so i may not be recounting the facts correctly.. i went downstairs with my trusty sharpie in my pocket to answer the door.

at the door there was an older (~75 year-old) man in a suit and appeared to be in good health.

ABibleStudent

@ Frazzled UBM - Thank you for reading this thread. I agree with you that it is difficult talking logically with JWs, but not impossible to plant seeds of doubts for their authentic personas to think about. I can only change how I behave and learn how to control my emotions/actions. I cannot change how JWs behave, so that is why I need to have a strategy/plan, plenty of practical experience/practise, and learn from my experiences when reverse witnessing to JWs.

My basic plan is to be polite and compassionate, ask simple questions, overcome thought-stopping platitudes, control the conversation with simple questions (such as, "Does that mean that you agree with me?" or "How do you feel when sales people don't answer your questions?" when they change subjects), look at a JWs body language to determine when they are feeling cognitive dissonance, say something that may encourage them to return, and to review what I learn to modify my plans. As you can tell from my experience, I need to practise executing my plan better.

@ Faithful Witness - You were brillant in your encounter with the elderettes! Thank you for reading this thread. To be fair to the JWs, I only picked up 5 or 6 invitations that were dislodged from a door jam or under a door mat, so the JWs were not being litter bugs. As I mentioned above, I tried to follow my plan, but was caught off-guard when the JWs were trying to confront me about picking up their invitations. Next year I will be more prepared for a confrontation if JWs question me about my actions. KISS (Keep it Simple Stupid, which refers to me) is my motto.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

41

I survived a 3-hour manipulation session with 2 elderettes!

by Faithful Witness in

i'm not sure how else to describe this meeting at my kitchen table.

my elderette ("miss k") arrived with her friend in tow.

i vaguely remember the 2nd lady ("miss w") from the times we went to the kh, but like miss k, we never really talked in depth.

ABibleStudent

You are my HERO, Faithful Witness!! Thank you for writing about your experience! You were great about countering their talking points.

Now, what did you learn from your experience? I feel that you discovered that both ladies are converts, they may have authentic personas that are controlled by their cult personas, they are afraid of talking more about the FDS, they want to control the conversation, they feel that you are a worthy recruit, they talk too much, they change subjects frequently, they say that they are willing to research (probably using WTBTS propaganda only), they like eating cookies and drinking tea, and you are becoming better at recognizing when they use thought-stopping platitudes.

What is your plan(s) to keep them coming back, to help empower their authentic personas, and to keep your sanity? To maintain your sanity, I would suggest having appointments or errands to do about 1-1/2 hours after they arrive so that you minimize your frustrations. Ask them simple questions to build a closer relationship with them, such as, "Ask them what they liked about the WTBTS before they were baptized, how WTBTS doctrines have changed over the years, and has the WTBTS done anything that has confused them over the years?"

Remember what your objectives/goals are. Are your goals to help the elderette to critically think for herself or for you to gain experience helping your JW family and friends to critically think for themselves?

I do believe that building relationships with them, asking simple questions about subjects that they are afraid of talking about, and always having something to counter a thought-stopping platitude are your best options. I don't think that you talking more will help. Asking them simple questions when they contradict themselves and to lead them to do independent research of the WTBTS will probably be your most effective strategies. Be patient and compassionate with them as you plant seeds of doubt and learn how to control your emotions as well as peel away the layers of BITE control from them.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

53

I dropped TTATT to some door knockers today

by TheStumbler in

two jws came to my door today and i dropped a few truths bombs on them.

i thought i'd share my account of how the conversation went.. .

i was in the yard doing some weeding when two gentlemen walked through the gate.

ABibleStudent

Well done, TheStumbler! Although you may be frustrated with what you didn't do, you did care enough for two strangers to help them critically think for themselves instead of being victimized by the WTBTS.

I personally wish that I was better at controlling my emotions, asking more questions that peaks a JW's curiousity, having pre-planned how to overcome the WTBTS's thought-stopping platitudes, encouraging JWs to do research about a specific topic of disccussion, and inviting them back to converse more. I have learned from experience that I need to practise a lot more. I wish that the WTBTS would set-up literature carts near me, so that I could practise more.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

10

Meetup.com

by ILoveTTATT in

jw
friends

i have used meetup.com and it seems like a really cool site!!

i am liking that i can meet people who have the same interests as me... it can be lonely in the cities and specially after becoming an exjw.. .

i already signed up for spanish, french, salsa dancing, bachata dancing, and photography!!

ABibleStudent

Hi ILoveTTATT, I use the internet to locate Salsa and Bachata dance classes/events that are held in nightclubs/venues in S. CA. As you meet more dancers through meetup.com, you should be able to exchange information about where to dance and when. In Oxnard, CA they hold a Salsa Festival, which includes live bands and dancing, in July. PM me if you want to watch videos of dance instructors, who I like, dance Salsa and Bachata.

Enjoy your life!

By the way do your parents like to dance? Social dancing is a fun activity and can be a time consuming hobby.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

36

First post after a year or two of lurking on this site-Sorry for the length!

by Pattytheperfect1 in

not sure of the point of telling my story, but just got off the phone with my grandma and i am so angry, stressed and i don't know what else...i guess i just wanted to hear from someone other than my husband that i'm not crazy for my reaction to family interaction.. my condensed story gramatical errors and all :).

father was a born in jw, mother was a convert.

i was born the last of 3 siblings and shortly after my birth in 1981 my parents divorced.

ABibleStudent

Welcome Pattytheperfect1, Thanks for sharing your story. It must have been hard to write. I'm sorry that you were raised by JWs and your pervert uncle. At least you have a better life with your non-JW husband than you would have had with a JW husband.

If you live in a state with no statue of limitations for statutory rape (or paedophilia), have you thought about filing a police report, so that your uncle would have to registrar as a sex offender, if he is found guilty? If it would help you release your anger, it might be worth it. Also, it might protect another child.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

10

G'day from Australia!

by Buck Rogers in

hi guys, um maybe i'm posting this in the wrong area, i'm the same buck rogers from jwr infamy if anyone else peruses the forums, just decided to take a breather from there, and in the mean time aquai myself with you guys!

a bit about myself before i go uploading my life story,4th generation born in,non baptised left in 2001, walked around for a further 7 years still believing like a dumbass.. hope to get to know you all and look forward to reading your stories and participatin in your lively banter!

go you guys!.

ABibleStudent

Welcome Buck Rogers, Look at the bright-side, you are critically thinking for yourself and you are free of the WTBTS. How many other JWs and exJWs have not healed as much as you have.

When you feel depressed about being a JW, you can always watch this video to remember that anyone can be "unduly influenced" by the WTBTS: How Big is the Phenomenon of Undue Influence? (2:01)

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

47

Im new and need help!

by Batman89 in

hello everybody, before i begin i just wanna say that i have really found alot of great posts on here that have been helpful forme , theres definitely alot of brilliant people here!.

i am a born in jw(24 years old) ive been baptized for 7 years and was a ministerial servant for 4 years(i am no longer one).

recently me and my parents have have woken up to ttatt(about 2 months ago).

ABibleStudent

Batman89 - She told me that although she could see some of my ponts of view(TTATT) and some things made sense, of course the JW life is the life she wants to live and that we should take a break while I ultimately "figure things out".

Welcome Batman89, DITTO about what other posters wrote about take a break from your GF and start living your life. Your GF basically gave you an ultimatum to either blindly follow the WTBTS or leave her alone. It is too late to give you advice to help your GF to critically think for herself.

Make/execute your plans to fade from the WTBTS without your GF. What education or skills do you possess to qualify for a well paying career? If you want to get more education/training do it! Attending a college/university is a great way to meet more non-JWs as well as obtain an education to qualify for a better paying career. Be happy that you are able to maintain your relationship with your parents.

May be in the future your GF will change her mind. If she does, take it one step at a time.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

130

Involved with a JW woman

by jonza in

okay so i'm dating a born-in jw woman, she's younger than me and has no kids.

i'm a christian man whos divorced with 2 kids.

we're in love and seriously want to be together.

ABibleStudent

jonza - Maybe it's Gods plan for me to rescue her from this cult?? What's the point of any Christian seeking any help from anyone except God??

Hi jonza, Would God put the lives of your children at risk to help your GF? If she is not able to help herself and your compromise would be putting your children at risk of being victimized by the WTBTS, who should you be more concerned about keeping safe? If you are a christian, than have you read Mt 15?

NIV Mt 15:13-14

He replied, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”

IMHO Jesus Christ was just being very pragmatic about the probablity of helping the Pharisees and teachers of the law to overcome BITE control in Mt 15:13-14. He was not being cruel to not help them. He just felt that there was nothing he could do to help them to love God more than the Jewish religious laws and leaders.

If you do marry your JW GF, please do not trade the emotional and mental health of your children to seal the deal.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

75

I need help! Talk coming up and I need ideas fast!

by BU2B in

jw
friends

omg i am so distressed.

i have a talk coming up on tuesday, it is the number 3 "abiram.

why opposing god appointed authority is tantamount to opposing god himself"!.

ABibleStudent

Congratulations BU2B for your courage to follow your convictions!

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert